Whatever, Creep!

[calulu]

I think I'm starting to get Gravekeepers customers and I don't like it much!

Anatomy Class

Last night at the Flowers That Suck floral service we had oodles of obscene phone calls from the same idiot. Said idiot didn't realize we're all linked by IM and the minute he started his uber stupid spiel he got hung up on. The operational manager intercepted his call finally and told him what a nookie-less basement-dwelling pimply hairy-palmed loser he was.

I have to admit, I'd not heard his approach before. He would seem normal till he started spelling out the name of the recipient "Julie Twatte" I started wondering then if the call was about to go sideways into pornoland but hey, I have seen/heard/taken orders for people with equally smutty names. It isn't until we got to the card message that his true intentions came out. He started describing how much fun he had doing certain sexual acts to this supposed date on Saturday night.

My reply? "Buddy, the only date you had on Saturday night was with your right hand or perhaps a blowup doll." I made him hang up.

www dot com Fail

I'm still wondering what the hell this call was about.

Me: yours truly
SC: Very confused, shrieky and hostile little old lady

Me: Opening spiel, blah, blah, blah, my name is Calulu, how can I hep ya?
SC: (ear drum piercing volume) Well I don't HAVE a www dot com. You florists are all CRAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
*click* she hung up on me!

Someone must have forgot to grind the thorozine into her metamucil this morning.

Mr Fuck-Shit

Do you ever allow someone to get over being a total shithead because they're going through something pretty monstrous? Last night I had a guy that just found out his 25 year old niece had two weeks to live. Every other word was Fuck or Shit or other colorful vulgarities. Usually I hang up on guys like this but I felt so bad for his ape-shit angst I pretended he wasn't foaming at the mouth and took his order and moolah.

[Food Lady]

Oh, dear, my mom used to be like that old lady. I think she was upset because she thought she had to have internet to order. I'm so glad I finally got my mom on the 'net.

[tropicsgoddess]

Man, I would've LOVED to hear the smackdown you and your manager gave the creep! As for the old lady...yeah she definitely missed her Thorazine. o_O

[Teskeria]

I love responding to the obscene callers. My favorite was when I was being QA'd ;
Caller: Can I tell you how big it is?
Me: about half an inch!
click
Should have got written up (rule was just hang up on obscene callers), but QA let it go as they were all laughing soooo hard.

One Male CW got a male caller who went on to describe the way he wanted to have sex with CW (this was over 10 years ago btw). CW let him go on a bit and said 'That sounds great!"
Caller: You're a pervert!!
CW: [B]You[B] called me.
dead silence for almost a full minute, then a heavy hangup.

Love to get the idiots back

[calulu]

Sometimes I would get "I'm jerking off, how does that make you feel?" and I always reply, "Like you're doing it wrong because I cannot tell what you're doing."

[GiftShopGirl]

Mr Fuck-Shit

Do you ever allow someone to get over being a total shithead because they're going through something pretty monstrous? Last night I had a guy that just found out his 25 year old niece had two weeks to live. Every other word was Fuck or Shit or other colorful vulgarities. Usually I hang up on guys like this but I felt so bad for his ape-shit angst I pretended he wasn't foaming at the mouth and took his order and moolah.

Poor guy! My science center is right by a hospital, so we also get a lot of folks who come in between hospital visits. They're usually stressed out too, and despite their (sometimes) sharp tones and language, I can't help but feel sorry for them.

[tamezin]

Every other word was Fuck or Shit or other colorful vulgarities. Usually I hang up on guys like this but I felt so bad for his ape-shit angst I pretended he wasn't foaming at the mouth and took his order and moolah.

This is me 90% of the time anymore....I have given up all faith in humanity therefore I don't give a rat a$$ what anyone thinks of my potty mouth.

[GuardingYourLife]

We got one calling all the pools asking about private lessons...would seem normal until he started asking what "types" of instructors we had, then he would clarify that he meant "high school vs. university girls" and would start asking about how the instructors would be "touching him" in the water.
My boss got him back when he asked if she would give him private lessons and she said she'd be more than pleased to but as her age was several decades older than what he was looking for he'd probably be less than satisfied!