So for a very quick background I work for a prepaid cellular provider. I have a range of duties, one of which is handling warranty claims and returns.
I fielded this lovely gem of a call today.
Me: Hi everybody
SC: The folks that make this site what it is, or something like that
Me: <opening call spiel>
SC: Yeah, UPS told me that they sent my phone back to you. I want to know when you all slow a** M***F***er's is gonna ship it out to me again.
Me: (ah yes, way to endear yourself to the person who is here to help you) Well Ma'am let me check the tracking information from UPS. What is the phone number?
SC: It's xxx-xxx-xxxx an another thing, are my minutes still gonna be on there. I haven't been able to use the phone and I've had to be without it all week now.
Me: (you just answered your own question sparky) Well since you haven't used it then the minutes will still be there. Now UPS shows they attempted 3 deliveries and since you weren't available on those 3 days they are sending the package back to us. Now since it was Friday night that they put the return to shipper order on it there is a chance it hasn't left Maryland yet. Would you like me to see if I can get them to hold the package so you can go in and pick it up at your convenience?
SC: Man, I don't have no money to be doin that. You slow ass F***er's need to fix this Sh**
Me: Ok, well, since they put return to shipper on it on Friday it likely will not be leaving Maryland until Monday. Shipping from Maryland to us is about 2 to 3 business days. We will resend the shipment once we get it back which will take another 2 to 3 business days to get it there. So you are most likely looking at it arriving next Friday.
SC: You mean I gotta wait a whole nother week. Man you F***er's are slow.
Me: Ma'am its not my fault you weren't there when UPS tried to deliver your package. I will thank you to stop swearing.
SC: I'ma swear if I want to, you F***er's can't even get a package out in a decent amount of time...
Me: (at this point I cut her off) Ma'am you called us on the 10th to report a problem. We called you back on the 11th to verify the warranty and address information. We didn't have the same model in stock. We got that on the 12th and shipped it out then. UPS attempted to deliver the package to you a whole 4 states away from us on the 15th, the 16th and the 17th. If 5 days is too slow for you how do you suggest we do things any faster?
SC: *sputters a bit* Well you just make sure you MF'ers get the phone out here by Friday.
Me: Ma'am I make no guarantees but we will resend the package as soon as UPS gets it back to us.
I fielded this lovely gem of a call today.
Me: Hi everybody
SC: The folks that make this site what it is, or something like that
Me: <opening call spiel>
SC: Yeah, UPS told me that they sent my phone back to you. I want to know when you all slow a** M***F***er's is gonna ship it out to me again.
Me: (ah yes, way to endear yourself to the person who is here to help you) Well Ma'am let me check the tracking information from UPS. What is the phone number?
SC: It's xxx-xxx-xxxx an another thing, are my minutes still gonna be on there. I haven't been able to use the phone and I've had to be without it all week now.
Me: (you just answered your own question sparky) Well since you haven't used it then the minutes will still be there. Now UPS shows they attempted 3 deliveries and since you weren't available on those 3 days they are sending the package back to us. Now since it was Friday night that they put the return to shipper order on it there is a chance it hasn't left Maryland yet. Would you like me to see if I can get them to hold the package so you can go in and pick it up at your convenience?
SC: Man, I don't have no money to be doin that. You slow ass F***er's need to fix this Sh**
Me: Ok, well, since they put return to shipper on it on Friday it likely will not be leaving Maryland until Monday. Shipping from Maryland to us is about 2 to 3 business days. We will resend the shipment once we get it back which will take another 2 to 3 business days to get it there. So you are most likely looking at it arriving next Friday.
SC: You mean I gotta wait a whole nother week. Man you F***er's are slow.
Me: Ma'am its not my fault you weren't there when UPS tried to deliver your package. I will thank you to stop swearing.
SC: I'ma swear if I want to, you F***er's can't even get a package out in a decent amount of time...
Me: (at this point I cut her off) Ma'am you called us on the 10th to report a problem. We called you back on the 11th to verify the warranty and address information. We didn't have the same model in stock. We got that on the 12th and shipped it out then. UPS attempted to deliver the package to you a whole 4 states away from us on the 15th, the 16th and the 17th. If 5 days is too slow for you how do you suggest we do things any faster?
SC: *sputters a bit* Well you just make sure you MF'ers get the phone out here by Friday.
Me: Ma'am I make no guarantees but we will resend the package as soon as UPS gets it back to us.
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