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During my Jr. Year of High School, I got to work in the school library. I basically checked out books, handed people printed assignments, accepted fines, and looked up words for lazy 7th graders. (There was a Jr. High renting space upstairs in our high school at the time.)
Months earlier I had already described the walking stereotype who was rapping in the library and was literally carried out and into ISS by custodians, still rapping and yelling racist and hateful crap all the time. Now I think I should describe some of the other weird things that have happened....
No book fights in the library.
There have been in fact numerous times in which people decided to toss books around like frisbees or like bombs. I have no idea why they thought this was such a good idea, but off to ISS you go for using your free periods to trash the library and break book spines!
You do realize that these pages count towards your semester page limit, right?
At my high school you had to log on with your student IDs. And whenever you printed something in the library it would send a message to the computer system and then say you had a certain amount of pages left to print. This was to save on paper, and because someone accidentally printed a fanfic on almost 400 pieces of paper while on his friend's account.
Now the 100 page limit was very generous in my eyes. Because it was 100 a semester. I maybe printed like 15 tops during just my junior year. Yet it surprises me how many people would decide how funny it was to do stuff like use a proxy and print pornographic pages. Then no matter how many times I said "no you can't have this" to the exact same seniors, they still kept thinking that I'd actually give them their porn. Seriously...you're seniors! And I know you're in AP chemistry!!! Wouldn't you get that after the first time that you can't expect me to give you porn?
Do you not even know how this works?
A copy of Old Yeller is returned from a student who had just checked it out. I open it up...the book is trashed. The cover is fine, but inside there are scribbles and doodles, pictures of old yeller's brains being blasted out and other such nasty stuff. There are even a few parts where the book is unreadable because the vandal had taken a permanent marker to it and completely smudged it and left a black mass.
Student is then called in for questioning. I ask why he did this but he said "It was like this when I got it! That's why I returned it today!" Indeed that sounds feasible...except that I open up to the "Due date" page that he forgot to vandalize.. Not a single person had checked the book out before him. I asked if he was telling the truth and he insisted. So I summoned the head librarian...and she nearly ripped off MaCulley Culkin when she saw the extent of the damage. The book had been just placed on the shelf and it took the kid god-knows-how-long to trash it. We had asked why he didn't look through it and report the damage (in case some other kid vandalized it while we weren't looking, because that was still highly possible) but then the kid revealed himself as a terrible liar, so obviously it was his fault.
Kid was fined $7 for replacing the book, then refused to pay it. We're allowed to check out books if someone has a fine below $2. But this kid didn't get that he coudln't check books out until he paid us $7 and kept trying to check out more and more books, only to be turned away. So we eventually called the Jr. High because guess what...he was a Jr. high kid who did this and then got in trouble with their principal. Kid paid the $7, because the alternative was to be permanently banned from the library, and I know for a fact that he is going there now like 99% of the other Jr. High kids at the time.
Just because I have a DS doesn't mean I didn't catch you.
During a few weeks of the year, I was actually allowed to play my DS while on the "job" during dead periods when I did not have any homework. So I actually did so with the volume turned off. Immediately someone reached over and tried to change the due date on his week-long overdue book. He got away with it in theory...but in practice I know he didn't. The computer still listed his due date in march and he didn't bring it back until May. Meaning that he would get hit with one big library ban if he didn't pay the $10 in fines he accumulated. HAHAHA!!!
The second time I caught someone in the act of stupidity was when he walked over to the hot water pot (we actually WOULD sell this for powdered cider. Yeah, weird, I know, but it made money to pay off books since we would get little to no donations) and then opened it, then proceeded to place a copy of American Gods into the pot of hot water, thus destroying it. I instantly looked up and said, "You owe the school for that book".
The kid in question then ran off...then not three periods later was given a message by a teacher that the librarian gave him a $10 fine for ruining the novel.
Put that down - that is NOT a toy!
We also have news racks. Rather than give kids newspapers that'll wind up all over the floor or the toilet, we have just one copy of each paper that students are allowed to use. It's arranged rather oddly, it looks almost like a kendo sword that you strap the newspapers into. One of my duties was to arrange these unless they were already done. In fact one time I had an odd duty.
The Librarian had to answer a call in her office and I walked in to find some kids sword-fighting with the newsracks. They are already made out of wood and could easily break with how they were using them. I walked over to them and said, "Do you want to get splinters in your eye? Then I suggest you give those to me because these are NOT a toy!"
Surprisingly they looked over at me and actually handed them over. While the kids were stupid to take things made out of thin wooden slabs and start using them as kendo swords, they were at least smart/observant enough to know that I was always here and would easily get them sent to ISS. Plus I was taller than 90% of the high school, and these were sophomores. The sophomores were around 4'11" I SWEAR and I was maybe 6'2".
Beavis and Butthead
Every school has one of these duos. While they were not as notoriously stupid or destructive as the animated duo, these two boys were my least favourite customers. Before we started banning websites, I know the two would come in during a free period (Which overlapped with my period in the library. >.<) and do stuff. They'd often look up stuff on the computer and then start giggling. It's highly obvious that they weren't researching or doing anything school related. We allowed people to read most webcomics (which actually WEREN'T banned at first believe it or not) but we certainly wouldn't allow people to look up porn.
B&B were the number one pornoraphic-printers in the library. And it was always on one account. When Beavis's account got banned, they switched to Butthead's and then eventually, they both got banned because they were caught. And yet the biggest flaw was not banning them from the library. So the two would come in and then find other ways to mess up.
Thankfully they didn't do anything like drink coffee and then suddenly turn into Cornholio and search for TP for a bunghole, but they still were quite the thorn in my side. I would constantly spot them climbing on tables, standing on shelves, making messes with books (You wouldn't think finding books in the wrong places is annoying, but when enough people do it...it's quite irritating. Especially when done on purpose with fiction books in the "Reference" section on the other side), and their worst prank was when they took a tape recorder with the volume on high and started playing some unidentifiable music. These two managed to hide it in a rather good place and actually split up, with Butthead taking the recorder and hiding it in the book return bin. Then Beavis ran by while I chased butthead and hid it under a bunch of books.
But I won in the end...the tape recorder was confiscated, the Bs were sent to ISS and later on banned from the library. During one semester, at least five people alone were banned from the library. (The rapper, Beavis&Butthead, the next girl I will mention, and a kid who wouldn't pay his fines)
The many adventures of the Makeup Girl
The majority of the Makeup Girl saga happened during a different period as her free period apparently did not overlap with my library period, but I had heard plenty of stuff from the librarian whenever her English class came into the library.
Apparently, she was quite the talented artist with her makeup. During her free period she would somehow take out a large piece of paper and start to draw on it. Of course the drawings were made with none other than stuff like lipstick and blush. I have only ever seen a few of them and I think they were alright, albeit abstract art.
Soon, Paper begun to exhaust her. Makeup girl needed to find a better outlet for her creative energy with makeup. Rather than find some girl's face to put it on, or even her own, she turned to tables and had apparently begun to make rather large mosaics on the tables. She had managed to avoid detection (Somehow, maybe theer was no library aide during that period) for the most part but was hated by the janitors who hated having to clean up lipstick smudges from a table at least twice a week. Eventually, she came in during my period. But I had patrolled and soon caught her in the act of making a masterpiece. Tables soon grew bored so the next thing was to smear some kind of powder on, of al lthings....a bloody dictionary. Yes, you read right. She had taken her lipstick to the page of a dictionary and then made a large line across a page. I then told the librarian and she didn't believe me, until I brought the book in question to her and she then asked why I didn't bring the GIRL in question. Which I should have done.
I then found out the next time she entered with her english class that she had been caught in the act of destroying another book with lipstick. Thankfully the damage was done to a book that could have been washed off but she had been banned from the library and couldn't enter unless accompanied by a teacher.
The library isn't a very good place to practice your instrument.
We had band like pretty much every high school. But one time I caught a flute player taking her flute out and begun to play. She actually was kind of nice but I had to tell her that the library really wasn't a good place to practice playing an instrument, becuase people were trying to read. Thankfully she was polite about it.
Months earlier I had already described the walking stereotype who was rapping in the library and was literally carried out and into ISS by custodians, still rapping and yelling racist and hateful crap all the time. Now I think I should describe some of the other weird things that have happened....
No book fights in the library.
There have been in fact numerous times in which people decided to toss books around like frisbees or like bombs. I have no idea why they thought this was such a good idea, but off to ISS you go for using your free periods to trash the library and break book spines!
You do realize that these pages count towards your semester page limit, right?
At my high school you had to log on with your student IDs. And whenever you printed something in the library it would send a message to the computer system and then say you had a certain amount of pages left to print. This was to save on paper, and because someone accidentally printed a fanfic on almost 400 pieces of paper while on his friend's account.
Now the 100 page limit was very generous in my eyes. Because it was 100 a semester. I maybe printed like 15 tops during just my junior year. Yet it surprises me how many people would decide how funny it was to do stuff like use a proxy and print pornographic pages. Then no matter how many times I said "no you can't have this" to the exact same seniors, they still kept thinking that I'd actually give them their porn. Seriously...you're seniors! And I know you're in AP chemistry!!! Wouldn't you get that after the first time that you can't expect me to give you porn?
Do you not even know how this works?
A copy of Old Yeller is returned from a student who had just checked it out. I open it up...the book is trashed. The cover is fine, but inside there are scribbles and doodles, pictures of old yeller's brains being blasted out and other such nasty stuff. There are even a few parts where the book is unreadable because the vandal had taken a permanent marker to it and completely smudged it and left a black mass.
Student is then called in for questioning. I ask why he did this but he said "It was like this when I got it! That's why I returned it today!" Indeed that sounds feasible...except that I open up to the "Due date" page that he forgot to vandalize.. Not a single person had checked the book out before him. I asked if he was telling the truth and he insisted. So I summoned the head librarian...and she nearly ripped off MaCulley Culkin when she saw the extent of the damage. The book had been just placed on the shelf and it took the kid god-knows-how-long to trash it. We had asked why he didn't look through it and report the damage (in case some other kid vandalized it while we weren't looking, because that was still highly possible) but then the kid revealed himself as a terrible liar, so obviously it was his fault.
Kid was fined $7 for replacing the book, then refused to pay it. We're allowed to check out books if someone has a fine below $2. But this kid didn't get that he coudln't check books out until he paid us $7 and kept trying to check out more and more books, only to be turned away. So we eventually called the Jr. High because guess what...he was a Jr. high kid who did this and then got in trouble with their principal. Kid paid the $7, because the alternative was to be permanently banned from the library, and I know for a fact that he is going there now like 99% of the other Jr. High kids at the time.
Just because I have a DS doesn't mean I didn't catch you.
During a few weeks of the year, I was actually allowed to play my DS while on the "job" during dead periods when I did not have any homework. So I actually did so with the volume turned off. Immediately someone reached over and tried to change the due date on his week-long overdue book. He got away with it in theory...but in practice I know he didn't. The computer still listed his due date in march and he didn't bring it back until May. Meaning that he would get hit with one big library ban if he didn't pay the $10 in fines he accumulated. HAHAHA!!!
The second time I caught someone in the act of stupidity was when he walked over to the hot water pot (we actually WOULD sell this for powdered cider. Yeah, weird, I know, but it made money to pay off books since we would get little to no donations) and then opened it, then proceeded to place a copy of American Gods into the pot of hot water, thus destroying it. I instantly looked up and said, "You owe the school for that book".
The kid in question then ran off...then not three periods later was given a message by a teacher that the librarian gave him a $10 fine for ruining the novel.
Put that down - that is NOT a toy!
We also have news racks. Rather than give kids newspapers that'll wind up all over the floor or the toilet, we have just one copy of each paper that students are allowed to use. It's arranged rather oddly, it looks almost like a kendo sword that you strap the newspapers into. One of my duties was to arrange these unless they were already done. In fact one time I had an odd duty.
The Librarian had to answer a call in her office and I walked in to find some kids sword-fighting with the newsracks. They are already made out of wood and could easily break with how they were using them. I walked over to them and said, "Do you want to get splinters in your eye? Then I suggest you give those to me because these are NOT a toy!"
Surprisingly they looked over at me and actually handed them over. While the kids were stupid to take things made out of thin wooden slabs and start using them as kendo swords, they were at least smart/observant enough to know that I was always here and would easily get them sent to ISS. Plus I was taller than 90% of the high school, and these were sophomores. The sophomores were around 4'11" I SWEAR and I was maybe 6'2".
Beavis and Butthead
Every school has one of these duos. While they were not as notoriously stupid or destructive as the animated duo, these two boys were my least favourite customers. Before we started banning websites, I know the two would come in during a free period (Which overlapped with my period in the library. >.<) and do stuff. They'd often look up stuff on the computer and then start giggling. It's highly obvious that they weren't researching or doing anything school related. We allowed people to read most webcomics (which actually WEREN'T banned at first believe it or not) but we certainly wouldn't allow people to look up porn.
B&B were the number one pornoraphic-printers in the library. And it was always on one account. When Beavis's account got banned, they switched to Butthead's and then eventually, they both got banned because they were caught. And yet the biggest flaw was not banning them from the library. So the two would come in and then find other ways to mess up.
Thankfully they didn't do anything like drink coffee and then suddenly turn into Cornholio and search for TP for a bunghole, but they still were quite the thorn in my side. I would constantly spot them climbing on tables, standing on shelves, making messes with books (You wouldn't think finding books in the wrong places is annoying, but when enough people do it...it's quite irritating. Especially when done on purpose with fiction books in the "Reference" section on the other side), and their worst prank was when they took a tape recorder with the volume on high and started playing some unidentifiable music. These two managed to hide it in a rather good place and actually split up, with Butthead taking the recorder and hiding it in the book return bin. Then Beavis ran by while I chased butthead and hid it under a bunch of books.
But I won in the end...the tape recorder was confiscated, the Bs were sent to ISS and later on banned from the library. During one semester, at least five people alone were banned from the library. (The rapper, Beavis&Butthead, the next girl I will mention, and a kid who wouldn't pay his fines)
The many adventures of the Makeup Girl
The majority of the Makeup Girl saga happened during a different period as her free period apparently did not overlap with my library period, but I had heard plenty of stuff from the librarian whenever her English class came into the library.
Apparently, she was quite the talented artist with her makeup. During her free period she would somehow take out a large piece of paper and start to draw on it. Of course the drawings were made with none other than stuff like lipstick and blush. I have only ever seen a few of them and I think they were alright, albeit abstract art.
Soon, Paper begun to exhaust her. Makeup girl needed to find a better outlet for her creative energy with makeup. Rather than find some girl's face to put it on, or even her own, she turned to tables and had apparently begun to make rather large mosaics on the tables. She had managed to avoid detection (Somehow, maybe theer was no library aide during that period) for the most part but was hated by the janitors who hated having to clean up lipstick smudges from a table at least twice a week. Eventually, she came in during my period. But I had patrolled and soon caught her in the act of making a masterpiece. Tables soon grew bored so the next thing was to smear some kind of powder on, of al lthings....a bloody dictionary. Yes, you read right. She had taken her lipstick to the page of a dictionary and then made a large line across a page. I then told the librarian and she didn't believe me, until I brought the book in question to her and she then asked why I didn't bring the GIRL in question. Which I should have done.
I then found out the next time she entered with her english class that she had been caught in the act of destroying another book with lipstick. Thankfully the damage was done to a book that could have been washed off but she had been banned from the library and couldn't enter unless accompanied by a teacher.
The library isn't a very good place to practice your instrument.
We had band like pretty much every high school. But one time I caught a flute player taking her flute out and begun to play. She actually was kind of nice but I had to tell her that the library really wasn't a good place to practice playing an instrument, becuase people were trying to read. Thankfully she was polite about it.
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