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Female calls me on the phone. She's 82 years old. I know because she told me this about every other word of her complaint.
She was complaining to us because our newspaper is "too big". Now, normally people complain that we don't have enough stuff in our paper (it's only about 36 pages, with light days possibly being only 20 or so) so this is new, but eventually I figure out that she's complaining not about the content, but about the actual SIZE of the newspaper.
So, I try to make her understand that newspapers are, by and large, all pretty standard-sized, but that's not good enough. "I don't CARE what everyone else is doing, YOU should not have such an enormous paper!" Because we're so speshul, I guess.
After five minutes of back and forth about how we should strike out and be different from every other paper in America and sell micro-editions, and my explaining that you know, no...she breaks out this classic line.
"This paper is so damn big that I can sit on the commode and read part with one hand and wipe myself with the other!"
She got hung up on real fast after that...
She was complaining to us because our newspaper is "too big". Now, normally people complain that we don't have enough stuff in our paper (it's only about 36 pages, with light days possibly being only 20 or so) so this is new, but eventually I figure out that she's complaining not about the content, but about the actual SIZE of the newspaper.
So, I try to make her understand that newspapers are, by and large, all pretty standard-sized, but that's not good enough. "I don't CARE what everyone else is doing, YOU should not have such an enormous paper!" Because we're so speshul, I guess.
After five minutes of back and forth about how we should strike out and be different from every other paper in America and sell micro-editions, and my explaining that you know, no...she breaks out this classic line.
"This paper is so damn big that I can sit on the commode and read part with one hand and wipe myself with the other!"
She got hung up on real fast after that...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I like that answer! But then again there are several things wrong with me.
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