Selections from the Tard Files (long, occasionally gross, language)

[Mark Healey]

Me: "Okay, your last name?"
Dickhead: "Young--Y-O-U-N-G."

As opposed to J-U-N-G.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Diane/Dianne makes sense, as does Gene (since more people use the French Jean for males lately). when they spell obvious names for me, I hit them with 'Wow! You're lucky! Your parents chose the easy spelling.' (irritates them no end, but gives them nothing to complain about).

Ya know, these days parents come up with so many "creative" spellings to make their kids "unique" so I guess it's not always safe to assume a normal-sounding name is actually spelled normally. But then it's always the people with the normal spelling who think they have to spell it.

My name is Susan.
OK, <s-u-s-a-n>
No, no it's spelled Soozynne! Duh!

As opposed to J-U-N-G.

Hehe, I thought of that too.

[octopi23]

Fuck. Nevermind.

[Tigerpounce]

I get both sides of the spelling problem. My first name is Nicole. I use the most common spelling, but I know it is not the ONLY common spelling so I have no issue spelling it for someone.

My last name is pronounced with one short syllable and uses French-ish spelling. I HAPPILY spell that one for people and I don't care when it comes back misspelled and mispronounced. Then again, I am human.

[JoitheArtist]

Seriously. Just because I work behind a counter, you think I can't figure out how to spell "Ed"? If your name is Blon Fel-Fotch Pasameer-Day Slitheen, I might need help spelling it. But Ed?

At least they didn't ask you to spell Raxicoricofallapatorius!

[EricKei]

At least they didn't ask you to spell Raxicoricofallapatorius!

...Or kruxeldivviffic...

[LibraryLady]

I'm guilty of being a speller because, although my last name is only three letters long, it's rarely spelled properly.

Over the years I've would up as Gallagher, Gallow and even McGowan even though the only thing these have in common with my name is the letter 'G'. If I's known tht a three letter name would cause so many problems I never would have married Hubby.

[gatekeepergoddess]

I too, am a telephone operator and when asking for the spelling of someone's name, they proceed to say it agonizingly slow. Ugh, I said SPELL. As in letters?

[taurinejunkie]

Yeah, that's another thing that pisses me off. SPELL. not REPEAT.

SPELL!

[Stryker One]

Like it sounds

Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwareng ewissenhaftschaferswesenchafewarenwholgepflegeunds orgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangereifenduchihrraubgir iigfeindewelchevorralternzwolftausendjahresvorandi eerscheinenbanderersteerdeemmeshedrraumschiffgebra uchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefah rthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiestern welshegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwo hinderneurassevanverstandigmenshlichkeittkonntevor tpflanzenundsicherfreunanlebenslamdlichfreudeundru hemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintlligen tgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum


Spelled the usual way.




http://www.everything2.net/title/Longest+names

[Primer]

I always get-firstname+e(which is not there)

Mine is just the opposite. I get firstname-e which IS there.

OR

I get first letter correct, then second letter something else entirely, and nothing else. For example: Say my name was "Emma," (which it isn't). I'll get "Ed"

Yeah, I don't get that one, either. Not only the wrong name, but the wrong gender, too.

[zigcat]

On the spelling thing, it's funny how directory assistance customers are almost the exact opposite.

Me: Would you please spell the last name?
SC: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WENT TO SCHOOL YOU SHOULD F***ING KNOW HOW TO SPELL! (Bonus points for: ...GET ME YOUR SUPERVISOR!)
Me: The spelling of last names is not something that is taught in schools. I'm sorry but unless you can spell the name for me I will not be able to search.

I don't know how many times I got "If I knew how to spell it, why would I call you?" whenever I asked for the spelling of an unfamiliar sounding last name. Look, this isn't "spelling" assistance, this is DIRECTORY assistance. Contrary to seemingly popular belief, it wasn't part of my training to commit to memory every single conceivable, possible spelling and their variables. So instead of making this more difficult for both of us with your snippy comments, why not just provide me with the information I requested so I, in turn, can do a proper search? THEN you might stand a better chance of getting the listing YOU requested.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Also on the same roll were nine or ten pictures of two huge pigs fucking. Pics taken from all sorts of different angles. Make of that what you will. O_o

Somebody took pictures of Rosie O'Donnell having sex? And they lived to tell about it?
*faints

Question from a customer holding a pack of rechargeable AA batteries: "This says 'charge before using.' Does that mean I have to charge them?"

"Yup. We take Visa, Mastercard and American Express."

I hadn't noticed this guy until one of the people from electronics came over and pointed him out to me. There was a guy walking around near the camera bar wearing a long shirt that reached below his crotch, hiding it all from sight. And he had one arm inside the shirt.

And his arm and hand were making very...suspicious motions.

Up and down motions.

Pumping motions.

Yes, this guy was walking through the store, masturbating right in front of everyone.

Was he a basketball player by chance? Coach told you to beat your man off the dribble, not beat your man until you dribble!