"Your Orange Juice is Infected With Morgellon's Disease!"

[ralerin]

The crazy never stops.

Morgellon's Disease is a disease characterized by a feeling of bugs crawling on the skin and fibers coming out of lesions. The disease is still contested as to whether it IS a disease or just a psychological disorder. Anywho.

Customer comes up to me at Aid of Rite with a quart of orange juice that has flecks of dirt on it from the rain and one sesame seed looking bit on it. The guy looks unkempt, rather gray-skinned and has got lesions and bug bites up and down his legs.

"Hi there, how are you?"
"I wanna make a complaint about the juice."
"Ok, what's the problem?"
"You might wanna tell your manager about it. This stuff on it is bug pieces and they cause Mongellon's Disease."
"Mong-what?"
"Mongellon's Disease. It's caused by dead bugs and it's all over your juice. See this?" *gestures to legs* "I've been infected with it for years and it's caused by bugs like this. They still itch me every day."
"Hm."
"That sesame looking bit? If you put alcohol on it and watch under a magnifying glass it's going to sprout hairs right away and come back to life."
"Ok."
"So tell your manager about it, ok?"
"Sure, no problem."
"And remember, it's Mongellon's Disease, so don't get sick."

He stays for another two minutes while the line in back of him grows and grows and talking about the spread of disease and the government not wanting to take care of us and how it's sad that it's even on orange juice now, so on and so forth. After the line goes down, I grab a bottle of alcohol and a magnifying glass and spray the sesame bit.

Nothing happened even after I watched for another minute or so.

So I tell Awesome Manager to put the juice back into the cooler and leave it at that.

[NateTheChops]

That's the one thing I'll miss about working at Rank Aid. We certainly get the entertaining ones.

[Bliss]

Actually, Morgellon's disease is very very serious, not in itself, but because it's one of the first failed attempts from an alien probe in creating a disease engineered to bring an invading army to earth. The next waves are about to come and we're very close to downfall.

[ralerin]

That's the one thing I'll miss about working at Rank Aid. We certainly get the entertaining ones.

You'll miss? Moving on to greener pastures?

[jjllbb]

uhhhhhgggggg. maybe i didn't read it correctly but if i had something edible returned by some guy covered with SOME type of bug bites from head to foot, talking about how the stuff he returned was infected or covered with bugs or whatever that would go STRAIGHT to the TRASH though the use of rubber gloves!!!!!!!!


ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

[NateTheChops]

You'll miss? Moving on to greener pastures?

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=51348

With the bullshit that my management kept coming up with I assure you the pastures were about as green as they could get. I just got tired of stepping in it.

On Morgellan's disease though, and not to push this into the line of fratching, I've read an article on Psychology Today where someone actually tested the "fibers" that a parent brought them and found out that these weren't in fact fibers you could find on clothes.

It's still on a list of diseases that aren't fully accepted by the medical community. And of course it's because of oddballs like your customer and the occasional Munchausen's Syndrome patient that few people take them seriously.

[octopi23]

Actually, Morgellon's disease is very very serious, not in itself, but because it's one of the first failed attempts from an alien probe in creating a disease engineered to bring an invading army to earth. The next waves are about to come and we're very close to downfall.

Poe's law works for conspiracy theorists too! I can't tell if you're being serious or just trolling!

[Tigerpounce]

What I really like about your story is you gave him the benifit of the doubt and sprayed it like a good little scientist. I would have too. God forbid I get proven wrong about something like that and being right is just Tasty.

[telecom_goddess]

I saw a thing on tv about morgellon's disease, one of those mystery diagnosis things. If someone has it it takes forever to diagnose because it's not taken seriously.

[Cat]

Meh....I'm prety covered in insect bite all duing the summer....also have a scratching problem that I've been trying to stop.



Love that you did the sci experiment, I would as well

[Bliss]

Poe's law works for conspiracy theorists too! I can't tell if you're being serious or just trolling!

I'm quoting the story idea behind Scott Sigler's "Infected" and "Contagious" books to see if any of the geeks on board caught the reference

[tamezin]

It's still on a list of diseases that aren't fully accepted by the medical community. And of course it's because of oddballs like your customer and the occasional Munchausen's Syndrome patient that few people take them seriously.

Which begs us to ask, which came first the chicken or the egg. Is the guy nutty because of the disorder, or is he nutty for thinking he has the disorder and does it really make a difference in perception? Physiological or psychological, if I felt like I had bugs crawling on me all the time, I would be far crazier than I am today and that is saying something. Screw passive aggressive, I'd opt for full on postal.