How DARE you aske me questions!? You're rude!

[Crescent Cat]

So tomorrow is my last day working at call center hell. Starting Monday I'll be going back to school to get my Medical Assistant certification. To be fair, it wasn't a bad job and the pay was awesome, but doing the same thing all day, everyday, was driving me insane. That and management went severally down the toilet since 2006 and everyone was steadily getting more and more screwed over. I certainly won't miss the job but I will miss some of the people I've worked with and come to know for five years.

That being said, I thought I'd dig up my first real SC working at the place. Oldie but a goodie - I hope you enjoy.


Me: May I have your account name please? (Note: Account names are different than their legal names)

Douche: [gives account]

Me: I'm sorry, I'm not pulling up anything with that. Let me make sure I have it right. [Spells back the name letter for letter]

Douche: Yes! That's what I said!

Me: Okay . . . [I check again]. I'm sorry I still don't see an account. I'm going to check the name one more time. [I spell it back phonetically].

Douche: *huff* Why can't you pull up my account!?

Me: I really don't know, sir. I'd like to verify the spelling again just to make sure I'm not making a mistake.

Douche: This is ridiculous! You need to stop wasting my time and assist me! I am very upset right now!

Me: I'm really sorry about that sir, but before I can proceed I do need to pull up your account. Since your account name isn't pulling up may I please have your account number instead?

Douche: Do you know what customer service is!?

Me: (Oh joy. One of these a-holes.) Yes I do, sir.

Douche: Really? Because it doesn't sound like you do!

Me: Well, I do apologize for the inconvenience but I cannot proceed until I've pulled up your account. May I please have either your account number or first and last name?

Douche: *yammers something really fast that I can't understand*

Me: I'm sorry. Could you repeat that?

Douche: Why!? What is your problem!?

Me: I apologize but I'm having a hard time hearing you.

Douche: And why is that?!

I didn't respond to that because I honestly have no idea what he wanted me to say. Because you have a thick accent? Because you're talking really fast? Because at this point I've subconsciously given up trying to reason with you and have started blocking you out? I called a supervisor over and transferred the call.

It's worth mentioning that this "gentleman" is also quite notorious. A coworker spoke to him and the first thing he said was "You people at [company name] have found a way to screw me over YET AGAIN!!!!"

After he got over his laughing fit (with the phone muted of course) coworker found out that he couldn't receive mail in the inbox he has set up with us. After some agonized troubleshooting coworker found out it was douche's internet connection and he'd have to call his ISP.

To this douche responded - "Well, it wasn't your fault this time . . . . BUT NEXT TIME IT WILL BE!!!!"

I often wonder about the inner workings of these self-important asshats and I've come to the conclusion that most - if not all - are so insecure that the only way they can vindicate their own existance is to verbally bully someone who they know cannot talk back.

It's really sad. Maybe if they went outside and made some friends they wouldn't be so miserable and feel the need to take it out on everyone else.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I often wonder about the inner workings of these self-important asshats and I've come to the conclusion that most - if not all - are so insecure that the only way they can vindicate their own existance is to verbally bully someone who they know cannot talk back.

It's really sad. Maybe if they went outside and made some friends they wouldn't be so miserable and feel the need to take it out on everyone else.

We've had "Meet The Robinsons" on the Blu-Ray demo player at the wholesale club, and I'm remembering a quote by the Bowler Hat Guy...

"Hmm, take responsibility for my own life, or blame you? DING DING DING! 'Blame you' wins hands down!"

That's exactly how they are. They bolster their own insignificant reservoirs of self-esteem by lowering those of others. And they do it to faceless entities on the phone or on the internet, because they don't have to deal with face-to-face confrontation, they don't have to fear physical retribution, and ideally, their chosen victim can't defend themselves. The perfect targets, in other words.

[Kittish]

I sort of found a way around some people who want to jump right into complaining before you have any information to be able to handle their problem.

"Sir/Ma'am, I want to help you, but to be able to do that, I need you to help me by providing (whatever info you need)."

Granted, it doesn't work all the time, but if the person really IS looking for assistance (as opposed to morons like your caller who just want any excuse to piss and moan), it usually helps calm them down enough so you can work with them. Of course, with douchebags like this caller, it probably would only provoke more argument and abuse since he clearly wasn't looking for any actual assistance. But then, anything you say (except maybe 'good bye *click*') is going to get that.

Douche: Do you know what customer service is!?

Me: (Oh joy. One of these a-holes.) Yes I do, sir.

"Yes, I know what customer service is. Do you?"