E.R. Adventures

[boringscreenname]

Last night a lady came wandering into the E.R. Lobby. I asked her if I could help her find someone or something. She says she just came from another hospital because the nurses were chasing her.

So I bite and ask why. She tells me that she's Katie Holmes and is pregnant with Tom Cruise's baby. Oookkkaaayy then.

I politely inform her that this is a hospital and unless she's here to visit someone or be treated she can't hang around. Around this time one of the Police Officers who is here regularly to take a coffee and bathroom break shows up. I inform her of the situation and she reiterates what I said to the lady.

The lady decides she needs to be seen in the E.R. and signs herslef in as Katie Holmes. They take her back, treat her and discharge her. She wants to hang around in the Lobby again and refuses to leave. So I call the Police and they show up. She stalls taking baby steps slowly off the property, then turning around, and coming back but eventually reaches the sidwalk, the cutoff line.

Ok great she's gone. Shortly afterwards I go outside and see her hiding behind our golf cart. Call the cops again, and this time 3 cars show up and she gets taken away in shiny metal handcuffs.

Later on a man in a wheelchair comes in, and goes straight to the Lobby. Triage nurse asks if she can help him. He wants to be seen in the E.R. but doesn't want to leave the Lobby.

The nurse gets him regisered but he refuses to sign any consent forms and wants the nurse to sign them instead which isn't possible. So they get him back to the E.R. and he refuses to tell the Dr. or nurse what's wrong but wants to stay in the E.R. all night.

They discharge him, and he goes back to the Lobby again and turns the tv volume up all the way. I could hear it through my closed office door. Right after that I get a page and the volume goes down. The Dr. on call wants him out ASAP.

So I tell him he's been dicharged from the hospital and needs to leave. He says there are no buses running, tough luck buddy, not my problelm. So then he goes to the vending machine, tries to put in a wet crumpled dollar bill in every hole but the right one then asks me to do it for him. I couldn't get the machine to take his money and had no change. So I sit around waiting on him to leave, which he does eventually. At least I didn't have to call the cops again.

[Amina516]

She says she just came from another hospital because the nurses were chasing her.

Yeah..I do this on a regular basis. lol.

I always feel bad for those people, but I hate when people use the hospital as a means of entertainment, food, or transportation.

[GiftShopGirl]

Sounds like the wheelchair guy was either homeless or without a place to sleep, and decided that a hospital sounded like a good place to pass the night.

[boringscreenname]

I felt bad for "Katie Holmes" until she started screaming and ranting and raving about how she was going to sue me, the hospital, the nurses, the doctor, the police officer etc....

Wheelchair guy is a "frequent flier" according to the nurses he comes in at least once a month.

*Bonus Story*

Shortly before I left work a homeless guy came in with all his worldly belongings. He was complaining of abdominal pain and said he had Crohn's Disease. So they took him straight back. They asked him if he was on any medicines. He denied it and then later on the doctor somehow found out that the guy had a ton of stolen medication from other hospitals in the city and illegal drugs on him, so the doctor called the cops to have him arrested.

[MergedLoki]

Sounds like the wheelchair guy was either homeless or without a place to sleep, and decided that a hospital sounded like a good place to pass the night.

We have homeless regulars that show up, usually in the winter, and have SOME complaint (feeling ill etc.) which IS obviously bullshit (in these paticular 'regulars' cases). but due to liablity reasons we cannot throw them out. So there's 3 I can think of that I see... usually once in the summer and as often as 2x a month once winter hits.

every year (keep in mind i've only been here roughly 3 years but the ER nurses tell me they'v ebeen coming for about 5 or so).

So they get a bed for the night, a free meal, and get to stay warm.

And yea ok if anyones homeless due to some horrific misfortune then I've got sympahty for them. but in EVERY case our homeless regulars always smell of booze. (if i'm lucky ALL i can smell is the booze or else their wonderous B.O./rotting garbage stink seeps through even through a mask... go to a SHELTER use the damn shower once in awhile plz). Or they're found lying on the sidewalk OD'd from drugs or something so they're doing it to themselves. so any possible sympathy I have goes out the window as they are generally rude, disruptive to us (staff) and other patients, and taking time/space that could be used on people who ARE ill and/or injured.

[PepperElf]

Later on a man in a wheelchair comes in, and goes straight to the Lobby.

to be honest i fully expected him to claim to be tom cruise looking for katie...

[kpzra]

We have homeless regulars that show up, usually in the winter, and have SOME complaint (feeling ill etc.) which IS obviously bullshit (in these paticular 'regulars' cases). but due to liablity reasons we cannot throw them out. So there's 3 I can think of that I see... usually once in the summer and as often as 2x a month once winter hits.

every year (keep in mind i've only been here roughly 3 years but the ER nurses tell me they'v ebeen coming for about 5 or so).

So they get a bed for the night, a free meal, and get to stay warm.

And yea ok if anyones homeless due to some horrific misfortune then I've got sympahty for them. but in EVERY case our homeless regulars always smell of booze. (if i'm lucky ALL i can smell is the booze or else their wonderous B.O./rotting garbage stink seeps through even through a mask... go to a SHELTER use the damn shower once in awhile plz). Or they're found lying on the sidewalk OD'd from drugs or something so they're doing it to themselves. so any possible sympathy I have goes out the window as they are generally rude, disruptive to us (staff) and other patients, and taking time/space that could be used on people who ARE ill and/or injured.

Try having to be trapped in the ambulance with them, starting to warm up and the smell coming off in waves. I miss being a paramedic, and at times I don't...lol

[Salesmonkey]

In "The House of God" by Samuel Shem he calls these people GOMERs, short for Get Out of My Emergency Room. Great book, excellent stress relief for people in medical professions.