Stupidity at it's finest (Loooong)

[Buzzy]

Long time, no post. I really haven't had that many suckies lately, but I think I have enough to make a post out of. Heeeeere goes!

In case anyone cares to know, I work at a customer service desk at a grocery store. We do all sorts of things.

I'm not a psychic!
We have a drop-off for film development at our store. The thing is, we don't develop them at our store, we send them to one of our other stores in the same city, develop them there, and they return the prints.

An older lady (OL) comes up with another woman about the same age. She asks if she can drop off her film here and if I could help her with it. Sure. I thought it'd be quick and painless, but I wouldn't be posting here if it went that way.

ME: (I explained to her that she had to fill out her name and phone number on the film envelope, which she did without a problem.) OK, now that you have that filled out, we just need you to check which kind of development you want.
OL: I don't know what I want! What's the difference?
ME: We have either Kodak or generic development. Kodak is a little more pricy but they develop at pretty much the same quality.
OL: I just want doubles. What's the difference in Kodak and generic development?
ME: (really? I JUST told you.) Kodak is more expensive. But we hear that they are the same quality from our other customers.
OL: Well I don't know what I want! Decide for me!
ME: It's not my decision to make, ma'am.
OL: But you know what I want! I have no idea! (She stuck her hands on her hips, scrunched up her mouth, and gave me a very odd stare.)
ME: I really don't know how you want your pictures developed, ma'am. It's your decision, and when you decide what you want, you can drop your film off with in *points* this slot. *walks away*
OL: Butbutbut-! I can't decide!
is it really THAT hard of a decision to make?

The sign is just there for a pretty decoration
Lady walks up and asks if she can buy a book of Forever stamps.
ME: Sure, that will be $8.80 please.
The lady looks at the till we use for postal purchases, and quite obviously sees the HUGE NEON ORANGE SIGN that states "Cash or Check ONLY for Postal! No cards!".
SC: *whips out her credit card* Here you go.
ME: *motioning to the sign that she just saw but clearly didn't read* We only accept checks or cash for stamps here. Sorry.
SC: Why's that?
ME: Well, our postal till is an old one, and doesn't have a card reader on it. It only takes cash or checks.
SC: Well this isn't a very up-to-date store! Don't expect me to be shopping here anymore! *turns and walks away* Won't even take cards anymore!!! *rabble rabble*
Funny, cause every other till or computer in our store is brand spankin' new.

Stop it!
So I was helping this guy buy some cigarettes, and he smelled bad. He smelled like he hadn't taken a shower in weeks. I was really hoping this would be a quick transaction so he could leave and I could breathe again. But no.
I finished giving him the cigs and asked "Is there anything else I can help you with?"
Smelly Guy: Nah, that's it.
I walked away to do something else when I hear him start talking again.
SG: Wait, can I get a powerball ticket, too??
ME: (oh GOD!) Of course.
SG: Make sure it's the winning one! Har har har!
(Yaaa, like I haven't heard that one ever before. )
ME: *handing him the "winning" ticket* Will that be all today?
SG: Yup. Thanks.
And as I'm walking away once more, he apparently STILL is not done.
SG: Oooh! I need to get scratch offs too!
(I really can't hold my breath for this long!)
I got him his scratch offs and asked him once again, if he needed anything else. This time he said no and meant it. Why he didn't just tell me what else he wanted instead of saying he was done is beyond me.

Duh-duh-duh-duuumb
Dumb Lady comes up to me holding a couple of envelopes.
DL: Why did I get these back? I mean, like, I sent them but they came right back to me!
ME: Let's see, here, are the addresses correct on them?
DL: I think so!
As soon as I actually saw the envelopes, I figured it out. She didn't put stamps on the envelopes. They were children's stickers. They had butterflies and rainbows on them, and were glittery. Not stamps.
ME: These came back to you because they aren't real stamps... *trying SO HARD not to laugh*
DL: Really?
ME: Yes, really. These are stickers.
DL: Ohhh wow! I had no idea! Maybe my kids put them on there!?
I sold her two real stamps and she went on her merry way.

The cherry on top
SC: *holding a bag of cherries and a reciept* THESE are the WRONG PRICE!!
ME: Oh? What did they ring up as?
SC: $3.99 per pound!
ME: And what were they supposed to be?
SC: $3.99 per bag!
I know for a fact that we never have cherries priced per bag. They are always per pound, at least at my store.
ME: I can check the sign for you.
SC: It says "per bag" right on the sign! I looked twice! Just give me the difference!
ME: I'm going to go take a look at the sign. (I'm not an idiot, lady)
Of course, when I got to the cherry display, the ONLY ONE in the store, the sign said "BING CHERRIES: $3.99 per pound". I grabbed the sign and brought it back to the lady. She had a "Ha ha, I'm right and you are wrong!" look on her face. Until I showed her the sign.
ME: See, it says "per pound" right here below the price.
SC: Yeah, well, it said "per bag" when I saw it earlier today! Are you sure you grabbed the right sign?
ME: I'm positive. It's the only sign by the only cherry display.
SC: I KNOW it said PER BAG!!! I LOOKED TWICE!!!
ME: ...it says per pound right here on the sign.
SC: Well I bet you guys changed the sign on me after I left!!! This is ridiculous!
ME: The cherries here have always been priced per pound. They have been this same price all week.
SC: Nuh uh! I looked twice! I don't believe you!
ME: OK well, I can get someone else to check, too.
SC: Good!
ME: *calls over produce manager*
Produce manager tells her the same thing. When she realized she isn't going to get her way, she pouts and huff-puffs while she had me return the cherries.

I think I made this way longer than I should have.

[technical.angel]

(She stuck her hands on her hips, scrunched up her mouth, and gave me a very odd stare.)

Ah, the infamous cat butt face. Loathed the world around!!

[bainsidhe]

Re: the cherry lady. So you get these customers too? So many are surprised when I tell them that No, that ridiculously awesome deal isn't what you thought. The other common error is mistaking the $1.00 per 3-pack sign (right above, you guessed it, the 3-packs) for a $1.00 per pound on whatever the expensive choice of reddish delight is today.

[telecom_goddess]

Why the hell do the really stinky dirty nasty disgusting revolting etc type people find it necessary to 1. get as close to you as possible and 2. stay there as long as possible. Like you WANT to smell their nasty ass stench.

[LillFilly]

Wow on the cherry lady! I was in the grocery store when I saw a cashier pushing a whole cart of mini pumpkins back to produce; apparently someone had thought they were .47 a piece, not per pound, then didn't want them when they saw the price. They were baby pumpkins! Price difference would have been like a couple dollars more!

[flutes_and_fabric]

The sign is just there for a pretty decoration
Lady walks up and asks if she can buy a book of Forever stamps.
ME: Sure, that will be $8.80 please.
The lady looks at the till we use for postal purchases, and quite obviously sees the HUGE NEON ORANGE SIGN that states "Cash or Check ONLY for Postal! No cards!".
SC: *whips out her credit card* Here you go.
ME: *motioning to the sign that she just saw but clearly didn't read* We only accept checks or cash for stamps here. Sorry.
SC: Why's that?
ME: Well, our postal till is an old one, and doesn't have a card reader on it. It only takes cash or checks.
SC: Well this isn't a very up-to-date store! Don't expect me to be shopping here anymore! *turns and walks away* Won't even take cards anymore!!! *rabble rabble*
Funny, cause every other till or computer in our store is brand spankin' new.

I have to have my ears checked a lot. I have weird problem with my hearing and I'm deaf in one ear, and often get infections in the other which causes a lot of annoyance, and as a music major that's not good. I know part of my hearing problem is that I don't put earplugs in when I practice piccolo or in drum line, and I'm a frequent at nascar events, usually in the vip section in the center close to the track, and I don't where headphones or earplugs then. Bad bad me. Anyway, back to the story. When I finish I usually stop at the shops and pick up some lunch, but this particular day I wanted ice cream. I usually check with food stores before I order for signs about credit cards, cause there're a lot of smaller family owned stores by me. I didn't see any signs (they didn't have their prices anywhere either which is annoying), but I did see a credit card machine very clearly hooked up to the register. I ask if I can use a card, the woman doesn't respond, I ask again, the question doesn't seem to register. So I order, pull out my card, and guess what? No cards. She yells at me that now she has to throw out the ice cream and I better go find an atm. I just let her know that I asked twice, boo hoo for her, put up some signs.

[mikoyan29]

Well you see, you guys have one of those James Bond signs....you can change it from bag to pounds....sometimes when you are in a really vindictive mode you can put it in grams....