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So I'm working at my old place for a few weeks. It's one of those pub/restaraunt combinations that is becoming so popular these days. Anyhow, we didn't have anyone REALLY sucky tonight, but we did have a few worth mentioning. [my thought process in square brackets]
1. The Self-seaters.
You always get a few who don't realise that the "Please wait to be seated" sign applies to them as well as all of the other customers, but at least most of them are perceptive enough to realize that tables with the little black signs saying "Reserved" on them carry the subtext of "these are not the tables you're looking for, move along". Not so with today's first bunch. They come in and seat themselves at a table we have reserved for one of our regular couples.
Me: I'm sorry this table is reserved.
SC: Oh, well we've sat down now, so we'll stay here if that's ok.
Me: I'm really very sorry [yeah right] but the people who reserved specifically asked for this table, and it's only fair they get it.
SC: Hmph [fuck off]. Well you should have put a sign saying that. Now that we're here, we'd like to stay here, and I won't take no for an answer.
Me: [I can't deal with this] Sir, there is a sign right there, it's the one that says "Reserved" on it, they'll be coming in for their table within the next few minutes, so you can move table or go without service, it's your choice.
SC's wife and very embarresed teenage daughter: Dear/Dad, let's just move to another table. *SC grumpily stands up and moves. Oddly enough, they left a very good tip. I wonder if it was all some bizarre test, or just the embarrasment of the wife/daughter!*
2. I have a problem with fish! (less sucky, more odd)
*Couple come in, are seated, look at the menu, choose what they want. They both go with the red snapper. They get their meals. Five minutes later....*
Husband: Could you come over here please?
Me: Of course, what can I help you with?
Husband: Could you take a look at my wife's fish and tell me if it's cooked properly please?
*I look at the fish. All our food is probed before it goes out to make sure it's hot through, but there might have been a slip-up. The fish looks cooked through, but in fairness it's not a great piece of fish in the first place. The darker patch is probably where the skin met the muscle, and the fish is pretty sinewy.*
Me: It looks fine, but I'll take it back to the kitchen and see what they make of it for you!
Wife: No thank you, I don't want that.
Me: Well then can I get you something else? No extra charge of course!
Wife: No I don't want that, this whole incident has made me feel a bit off. I have a real problem with fish you see.
...........Then why did you order it? I didn't asked that of course, just smiled politely and backed away.
3. Carry on up the Dine-and-Dash.
*Group of five come in, order, food arrives, they eat.*
Me: I'm just going for a fag, can you watch the restaraunt?
CW: Sure thing.
*I go, smoke, come back. The table is gone.*
Me: Did those guys pay?
CW: No, they said they paid you.
Me: *Colour leaves my cheeks, there's seventy quid I get to pay off. I'm annoyed at CW, but in fairness she is new, and I probably shouldn't have left her alone in charge of the restaraunt. All tickets are placed in a certain place according to which table they represent and stamped with paid or not paid, but this was her first shift, and it's possible that she was serving someone else etc etc etc.*
CW: Hey.....they left a wallet.
Me: What?
CW: Yeah....it's got a driving licence and about three hundred quid in it!
I did consider taking the money we were owed out of the wallet, but to be honest I wasn't sure, in the heat of the moment, about the legality of such an action.....so instead I just called the police! Looking back on it, I'm sure I'd have been ok to take the money, but I wasn't thinking too straight, and I really wanted to make sure I kept the moral and legal high-ground. The manager was made aware of the situation, told me I didn't have to pay, and intends to press charges to the fullest extent possible.
At the end of the night CW apologised, and we had a drink and a laugh about the whole thing.
1. The Self-seaters.
You always get a few who don't realise that the "Please wait to be seated" sign applies to them as well as all of the other customers, but at least most of them are perceptive enough to realize that tables with the little black signs saying "Reserved" on them carry the subtext of "these are not the tables you're looking for, move along". Not so with today's first bunch. They come in and seat themselves at a table we have reserved for one of our regular couples.
Me: I'm sorry this table is reserved.
SC: Oh, well we've sat down now, so we'll stay here if that's ok.
Me: I'm really very sorry [yeah right] but the people who reserved specifically asked for this table, and it's only fair they get it.
SC: Hmph [fuck off]. Well you should have put a sign saying that. Now that we're here, we'd like to stay here, and I won't take no for an answer.
Me: [I can't deal with this] Sir, there is a sign right there, it's the one that says "Reserved" on it, they'll be coming in for their table within the next few minutes, so you can move table or go without service, it's your choice.
SC's wife and very embarresed teenage daughter: Dear/Dad, let's just move to another table. *SC grumpily stands up and moves. Oddly enough, they left a very good tip. I wonder if it was all some bizarre test, or just the embarrasment of the wife/daughter!*
2. I have a problem with fish! (less sucky, more odd)
*Couple come in, are seated, look at the menu, choose what they want. They both go with the red snapper. They get their meals. Five minutes later....*
Husband: Could you come over here please?
Me: Of course, what can I help you with?
Husband: Could you take a look at my wife's fish and tell me if it's cooked properly please?
*I look at the fish. All our food is probed before it goes out to make sure it's hot through, but there might have been a slip-up. The fish looks cooked through, but in fairness it's not a great piece of fish in the first place. The darker patch is probably where the skin met the muscle, and the fish is pretty sinewy.*
Me: It looks fine, but I'll take it back to the kitchen and see what they make of it for you!
Wife: No thank you, I don't want that.
Me: Well then can I get you something else? No extra charge of course!
Wife: No I don't want that, this whole incident has made me feel a bit off. I have a real problem with fish you see.
...........Then why did you order it? I didn't asked that of course, just smiled politely and backed away.
3. Carry on up the Dine-and-Dash.
*Group of five come in, order, food arrives, they eat.*
Me: I'm just going for a fag, can you watch the restaraunt?
CW: Sure thing.
*I go, smoke, come back. The table is gone.*
Me: Did those guys pay?
CW: No, they said they paid you.
Me: *Colour leaves my cheeks, there's seventy quid I get to pay off. I'm annoyed at CW, but in fairness she is new, and I probably shouldn't have left her alone in charge of the restaraunt. All tickets are placed in a certain place according to which table they represent and stamped with paid or not paid, but this was her first shift, and it's possible that she was serving someone else etc etc etc.*
CW: Hey.....they left a wallet.
Me: What?
CW: Yeah....it's got a driving licence and about three hundred quid in it!
I did consider taking the money we were owed out of the wallet, but to be honest I wasn't sure, in the heat of the moment, about the legality of such an action.....so instead I just called the police! Looking back on it, I'm sure I'd have been ok to take the money, but I wasn't thinking too straight, and I really wanted to make sure I kept the moral and legal high-ground. The manager was made aware of the situation, told me I didn't have to pay, and intends to press charges to the fullest extent possible.
At the end of the night CW apologised, and we had a drink and a laugh about the whole thing.
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