grocery store chronicles -- kinda long i guess

[Fleur]

small grocery stores: they don't double as no banks

white trash couple comes up, is argumentative about the bill, rude to me, generally unpleasant in every way. they make noises about needing quarters. i half listen, in case they need me to do something about it, which they of course do.

husband: can you exchange these (a ten and a twenty) for quarters?
me: i'm sorry, there is absolutely no way i have enough quarters for that. you'll have to ask at the service counter and see what they can do.
husband: just gimme quarters.
me: (oh no you did not) *opens drawer to prove* i have maybe three dollars in quarters. you can ask at the service counter and see what they can do, because i can't do anything for you past ring up your order.
husband: fine. *gives the $30 to wife* (to her) tell them not to give you any smart-ass bullshit about not being no bank. i know they ain't no damn bank, don't mean they don't have no quarters.
me: ( again, and quietly hoping that Sup D, who is normally sarcastic and outgoing, stays true to herself and gives them some politely smart-arsed remark)

i don't know whether they got their quarters or not. most likely they didn't, because the sups don't usually do cash exchanges for more than $10, maybe $20 if the person asks nicely.

Cokehead

so I'm working (obviously), and it's a bit slow. Coworker S and I are standing around chatting, when this guy comes in my lane. He's maybe 25 and looks Middle Eastern, although I'm bad at judging these things. His cart is FILLED, literally he's having a hard time pushing the thing, with 6-packs of Coke, diet Coke, and Sprite.

These particular products are on sale this week, 2 for $7 plus 10 cent deposit per bottle. So guy (we'll call him Cokehead just for the fun of it) apparently decided to stock the hell up, because we totally won't run the same sale every other week for the foreseeable future. (We will.) He also has a rather strong accent, which again I can't place for sure but sounds Middle Eastern.

CH: 9 cases.
me: Excuse me?
CH: 9 cases.
me: ...(at this point i'm thinking, cases of what? I'm tired, sue me. :P ) oh, I can't do it that way. How many 6-packs?
CH: 9 cases!
me: *picks up single 6-pack from his cart* No, how many of these do you have? I need to know this number to put into the computer.
CH: There is four in case, so... 36.
me: *hits 36 Qty and scans the 6-pack* Ok, your total is (holy jesus) $147.60.
CH: *peers* No, no, no. I do not want deposit.
me: Well, it's the law. Everyone who sells pop in Michigan has to add a ten cent deposit to each bottle sold, so you can return it later and get that money back.
CH: Take it off.
me: ...I can't do that. It's against the rules.
CH: But is too much! Is only ten cents a bottle.
me: Yeah, and you have a LOT of bottles.
CH: Fine. *shuts up and pays cash*

So that's the end of it, right? I relate this to bagger N, who laughs. Cool.

No. Twenty minutes later (I guess all that pop took a long time to put in the car) CH comes back in as I'm bagging for the other cashier. He hovered in my peripheral vision for a bit, and as I didn't have time to really look over I assumed he was one of the idiots who has a bunch of bottle slips to cash in and tries to skip the three-person line. So I ignored him until I was done bagging the current customer.

CH: Hi, remember me? I bought all the Coke?
me: oh, yeah. Did you have a problem?
CH: Umm.. yes. I actually bought only 8 cases.
me: Oh, well, I can't do anything to help you with that, I'm sorry. You can go over to the service counter, though, and talk to B or R and they'll help you out.

he talked to Cool Manager B, who I guess didn't feel like doing a return so he let CH go back and grab four more 6-packs. So, not truly sucky, but then I don't get too many of those. Thank god.

I quite like my organs, thank you

Last week sometime I was doing the midnight shift. This is an extremely boring shift, so I slouched against the lane, doodling on the back of some flyer. Dude comes in, SLAPS me on the back, in the vague kidney area, and goes "WAKE UP!"

I, of course, jump the hell out of my skin as he walks away, and glare at him with rage boiling over.
He goes over to the ice cream aisle for a few minutes. I serve a couple other customers, mostly guys buying cases of beer as I remember, and try to keep myself calm.

Dude finally comes up with some ice cream and various other items, and makes some half-assed apology. Now, I'm glad he had the sense to do that at least, but I'm still upset at this point and just give him a quick Look.

him: *with a rather rude tone* So... do you accept my apology?
me: Sure. Whatever.
him: You know, I thought you were someone else.
me: (sure.)
him: So do you accept my apology or what?
me: I don't think so. I'm really sorry that I don't enjoy being punched in the kidney by a complete stranger.
him: *shuts up, pays, and leaves*

I did try to keep a civil tone, but I admit that's rather harder to do when you're trembling in anger.

mayonnaise: better than crack

as i'm pulling my drawer the other night after a particularly long 6-11 shift, my supervisor R is standing at the end of my lane with her drawer when this guy comes in. he looks like he's tripping balls on something, god only knows what, he's jittery, his eyes are red, he can't seem to keep his balance that well.

crackhead: *puts his arms around R's shoulders, gets real close in to her face* where's the MAYOnnaise?!
R: right down aisle ten, left side.
crackhead: *runs down 10*

A couple minutes later, R and I are in the countdown room together.
me: I love that guy's MIGHTY NEED! for mayonnaise at eleven o clock on monday night.
R: ...I hadn't really thought of it that way. *cracks up*

the most irritating five minutes of the week

uuugh, i was upset for quite a while after this one.

idiot: yeah, can I have some Basic Ultra Light 100s?
i repeat to make sure i have the right kind. she affirms. i retrieve the fags.
idiot: no, Basic Menthol Light 100s.
i repeat to make sure i have the right kind. sometimes people make mistakes. she affirms. i retrieve the fags.
idiot: *in a very condescending tone* no, Basic Menthol Ultra Light 100s. It's a light green box.
me: we don't have that kind, all that's over there is Menthol Light and Ultra Light. No Menthol Ultra Light.
idiot: fine, then get me Virginia Slims Menthol Ultra Light 100s.
i repeat to make sure i have the right kind. she affirms. i retrieve the fags (120s instead of 100s, i guess they're the same thing, just branded differently).
idiot: no! these are 120s! i wanted normal size. just forget it! i'll get them at CVS. *huffs away*

i can get that i may not have heard exactly what she said. which is the precise reason i repeat what they said back to them in confirmation. even if it's as simple as Marlboro Reds. I'll say, "Marlboro Reds?" just to make sure. so please for the love of god, listen to me! when i'm asking you if i'm correct in my thinking.

apparently i spoil milk

little old lady comes in my line. she has to be around ninety, at least. it's a pretty normal transaction until she gets to the pint of milk. she looks at me, holding the milk, and says, "Two weeks ago, I bought a half gallon of two percent milk from this store. It said it would go bad on X date, but on U date (several days before the date) my friend was visiting and poured a glass of milk -- sour. That was the second time that milk I bought here spoiled before it was supposed to. If it happens this time, I'll be very angry. I'll be very, very angry. I may not even shop here anymore."

ok, first of all lady, is it MY PERSONAL FAULT that your milk goes bad? i'm so sorry that my very existence causes your foodal items to spoil in the fridge.

second, maybe it's your fridge. there's a saying, something along the lines of 'the only common factor in your bad experiences is you' - very true. do you put the lid back on the milk? do you make sure the fridge is sealed? is your fridge's temperature set too high? don't fucking try to threaten me because of some stupid assumption you made that it's my store's fault, when there are many other possibilities.

third, see you next week, when you come back for more milk.

i didn't find this one irritating so much as hilarious. her tone was... it was like she was an eight year old kid trying her hardest to make her lame ghost story absolutely terrifying, complete with the cliché flashlight under the chin trick (which i've always found just makes my eyes water).

halfway through this little rant of hers, Line Leader J comes up. J has an... interesting sense of humour, apparently feels the hilarity in the air around this woman, and laughs. (he later said he was holding back laughing. no fuckin way, he was full-on cracking up) he asks what's up, the lady repeats her tirade almost word for word, and is completely oblivious to J's amusement.

i sort of dislike how it takes weeks to get enough SCs to fill a post. i say sort of, because otherwise i'd be banging my head on the register keyboard all shift, which would be unwise for both my job and my forehead. but whatever, here's a post. *duct tapes own mouth shut*

[Meegz]

I hate to admit that I'm a smoker and like my Marlboros but if a store doesn't have any Milds, I'll take whatever they got because I thought must of us just want a nicotine fix. I will agree, though, that people aren't descriptive enough - I've been behind enough of those that cuss at the person behind the counter because their magic 8ball wasn't ready!

As far as the milk, the cashier is and will be solely responsible for raising cows and said cows' milk, and therefore will be reviewed upon when any milk goes bad before date. its in your handbook, GEEZ.....


Sadly enough, the same people that complain about the dumbest things will be the first to ask for an application to work at your store because of employee discount, yet rant and rave about policies. Go figure!*

*I say this because of similar stories from this weekend..*sigh*

[fireheart]

Ugh, people who treat cash registers as banks are annoying.

The ONLY exceptions I'll make for the rule are as follows:

1) If it's a straightforward split the note type transaction i.e. a $20 into two $10's.

2) When it's quiet.

3) If the person isn't a jerk.

[ralerin]

Ah, I had one woman get angry at me because on two occasions I didn't have enough to give her $5 worth of quarters.

"THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO ME WITH YOU! WHY?!?"

"Well, ma'am, you always come through my line when I don't have enough to give. I'm sorry."

"*GLARE and leave*"

Geez lady.

And apparently, no, the 120's are different from the 100's. It all has to do with the size of the cigarette, I think. I'm not a smoker.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

And apparently, no, the 120's are different from the 100's. It all has to do with the size of the cigarette, I think. I'm not a smoker.

The only difference is the length, not the taste.

Why yes, I know I don't look like a smoker but . . . *lights cigarette*

[mandaliz8704]

120's are about the length of a pool cue. Even funnier are the Marlboro 72's... my husband smokes those. They're TINY!

[bainsidhe]

We are not a bank. That means, surprisingly, just that.

Re: the guy with the Coca-Cola goodness. Do you think he reeeeaaaallllyy only had 8 cases or that he didn't like paying the bottle deposit on his 9 cases and was trying to recoup some of the cost? As to why he didn't think the deposit applied to him, it's because he owns a corner store & resells the pop for a profit. We have a lot of customers do that. Ever wonder why a customer buys 20 boxes each of the exact same flavor cereal, Ritz crackers, spaghetti sauce, etc? It's not because they have 30 kids, they own a store.

[EricKei]

I quite like my organs, thank you

I do believe that one may qualify as Assault (at least here in the US). In any case, being a customer does not give anyone the right to touch you, let alone HIT you.

As for cigarettes, I've never quite understood why they have THAT many different varieties and brands. It's tobacco and..as far as I can tell, bus exhaust and not much else. Then again, I'm basically a caffeine addict, so who am I to criticize others on their personal choice of poison ~_~

[mattm04]

[U][B]
apparently i spoil milk

little old lady comes in my line. she has to be around ninety, at least. it's a pretty normal transaction until she gets to the pint of milk. she looks at me, holding the milk, and says, "Two weeks ago, I bought a half gallon of two percent milk from this store. It said it would go bad on X date, but on U date (several days before the date) my friend was visiting and poured a glass of milk -- sour. That was the second time that milk I bought here spoiled before it was supposed to. If it happens this time, I'll be very angry. I'll be very, very angry. I may not even shop here anymore."

ok, first of all lady, is it MY PERSONAL FAULT that your milk goes bad? i'm so sorry that my very existence causes your foodal items to spoil in the fridge.

second, maybe it's your fridge. there's a saying, something along the lines of 'the only common factor in your bad experiences is you' - very true. do you put the lid back on the milk? do you make sure the fridge is sealed? is your fridge's temperature set too high? don't fucking try to threaten me because of some stupid assumption you made that it's my store's fault, when there are many other possibilities.

third, see you next week, when you come back for more milk.

i didn't find this one irritating so much as hilarious. her tone was... it was like she was an eight year old kid trying her hardest to make her lame ghost story absolutely terrifying, complete with the cliché flashlight under the chin trick (which i've always found just makes my eyes water).

halfway through this little rant of hers, Line Leader J comes up. J has an... interesting sense of humour, apparently feels the hilarity in the air around this woman, and laughs. (he later said he was holding back laughing. no fuckin way, he was full-on cracking up) he asks what's up, the lady repeats her tirade almost word for word, and is completely oblivious to J's amusement.

i sort of dislike how it takes weeks to get enough SCs to fill a post. i say sort of, because otherwise i'd be banging my head on the register keyboard all shift, which would be unwise for both my job and my forehead. but whatever, here's a post. *duct tapes own mouth shut*

we had a lady who claimed that every perishable item they bought were spoiled because of us. Could be valid so we check all our temps using the computer monitor to see if any alarms had triggered, the case thermometers and some instant reads. All coolers were fine. We did this over a few days. lady decide it is our fault comes in and screams at manager and calls health dept. Thye inspect. Al temps within in range.

A few days later one of the baggers collecting carriages sees the lady load her groceries, including perishable items in her car, shutting the door and going to another store. A hour later the car is still their. If you guessed this was the middle of summer, you would be right.

[Can I have a cheeseburger]

In Friday I had a young guy come in and buy something, but then he wanted to get rid of a sh*tload of change and get bills in exchange. I was happy to do it as long as there was nobody else in line. Dealing with the Loonies and quarters was easy, but once I got to the dimes and nickels there were other people going into the line so I cut him off there, reminding him "we don't normally" do these kinds of exchanges. Next time that happens, I'll send him to the bank next door!

[chainedbarista]

i'm betting that the little old lady's fridge was only slightly younger than she is, which explains the milk. if things go badly at home, it's due to their storage, rarely the stores, yet they still cast the blame on stores.

as for the trashy couple, i'm also hoping your manager gave them what they deserved...nada.

kidney puncher would have had security called on his ass; his excuse isn't acceptable, it's still assault and battery (assault is the intent and battery is that action, or so i'm told) and he'd have a hard time getting the judge to accept his 'reasoning' as well-the lame apology was pure, steaming bs.

[LadyAndreca]

I'm pretty easygoing with change, and I'll break bills as long as I've got the reserves for it. But I'm also stingy with my quarters--I won't give anyone more than a dollar or two in quarters, depending how much I have in my drawer. I know I need two rolls of quarters and three of pennies in a six hour shift (unless I'm at either garden or lumber, when I might only need one of quarters and two of pennies), so I don't like letting go of more quarters than I have to.

I have had people try to quick change me that way, but so far I've gotten away with "let me finish the first one first or I'll confuse myself" and refusing to change more than one bill at a time. And I started carrying a calculator because I can't add 6 different lengths of boards mentally after I've been at a register for 5 hours, so I've got that for if someone DOES confuse me.

[Shimatta]

I would be suspicious of the guy with the sodas - he didn't like the bottle deposit so managed to scam a little more soda

[Fleur]

i'll give people a dollar or two in quarters, or i'll break a twenty if they're polite and if i have enough. if they're rude, i suddenly remember that we're "not allowed" to make change without manager approval. which technically we're not, but no one cares.

i gave a fellow coworker $5 in quarters the other day, because she's awesome and i had a spare roll in my drawer. MOD was there and had no problem with it.

and security at my store is whatever manager happens to be on duty. XD i was too angry to think coherently at the time, though, and didn't call anyone. (my hands were shaking for a good hour, and i'm still steamed up a week later) plus we don't have cameras recording, so it'd be hard to prove. i'm not supposed to know, but there's only one camera in the store that actually records, and it's the one watching the service desk.

[CarcinogenCrunchies]

I once had a woman tell me she wasn't going to pay the deposit on a case of soda, because she was on her way home, out of state. She figured that because she won't be able to return the cans, she should be exempt.