Security Factor 5

[smileyeagle1021]

I would like to point out that this is a phrase most men never want to hear from any man at all. EVER.

I could stand to here it a little more

Oh, and GK, would you do us all a favor, since it is obvious that Skynet is going to take out Steve first (raising the heat truly is much more devious than making noise, noise you can block with ear plugs ), would you be so kind as to warn the rest of us so we can prepare

eta- holy crap, I just saw a guest wearing the gold pants from GK's post... the apocalypse is now people

[dmcglu82]

This weeks Gravekeeper post is brought to you by the words: Wanker and accosted and the letter G, and the Larch.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

This weeks Gravekeeper post is brought to you by the words: Wanker and accosted and the letter G, and the Larch.

Don't you mean the Loach?

[Hyena Dandy]

I could stand to here it a little more

Certaionly

eta- holy crap, I just saw a guest wearing the gold pants from GK's post... the apocalypse is now people

Oh my God...

THEY'RE SPREADING. Magic pants which eat people's brains!

[rerant]

Oh heavens, the Fashion Twins sound like people who go to a club here called CiRCA. CiRCA has a "style code" not a dress code, which basically means the bouncers get to decide if you look cool enough to get in or not.
They'd get in, I, in my tshirt and jeans, would not.

Where is your god now?

[Jester]

Rerant, frankly, I wouldn't want to go to a club like that, inhabited by fashion drones there to show off their fashion sense and their charge accounts. Fuck that. I'm deeper than most of the people that you would find in that club. And far fucking cooler.

Then again, I do prefer bars to clubs....I guess that's not a surprise. One bonus of living in Key West: virtually no dress code. Wearing sandals, cargo shorts, a goofy t-shirt, and a ball cap, I can go into any club, any bar, and any restaurant in town, no matter how nice it may be. I DO so love the laidback lifestyle here!

[crazylegs]

Where is your god now?

Pointing and laughing at those bereft of style!

[OfficeSlug]

The guy who was calling for help with his Outlook -- -he still calling??

[Gravekeeper]

The guy who was calling for help with his Outlook -- -he still calling??

So far, no. Hopefully fired. =p

As for that security guard, damned if I know how he keeps his job. They took him off shift for a few weeks after the last debacle. Put him back on a couple weeks ago and I'm still averaging one police dispatch a week.

I was lectured by the police staff sgt for wasting their time. =/ He relented when I explained who I was and that I was just following the directions giving to me by the client. But it sounds like he tore the client a new one. The police are all pleasant when I call now. Because the staff sgt decided to start charging the client an alarm call out fee every time this happens.

So Bob isn't just an idiot, he's also costing his company $300 a nap.

[tamezin]

His female companion on the other hand appears to have slain either a gold dragon or a Vegas can-can dancer, pelted them and sewn a fine undershirt of scalemail from their corpse. It was immensely….glittery…and I assume it provides +40 Fire Resistance. With this she had an equally shiny purse that cast off light like a disco ball. Perhaps woven from the same corpse. ... The only break
in this glittery gold theme was her shoes.

Ok, my auntie did something like this the last time she came to visit me once. We were going to have breakfast at the casino, 'cause for some reason everyone in my family except me loves the feeding troughs they call a buffet.

Anyway to put this in context, my auntie is 66 years old, now I'll be honest she is a very good looking 66 years old. She has always taken very good care of herself, and my uncle bought her new tata's for her 60th birthday (or was that for his), but 66 is 66, and it took me days to see again after being blinded by all the shiny gold sequins on her outfit.

Also, I don't live in Vegas or any of the other happen'n gambling towns, I live in a small town in the midwest that just happens to have 1 sucky riverboat casino.

[KMCA]

I kinda feel bad that I get so much amusement from this. And I have to wonder why Bob hasn't been fired.

It's night shift security. Nobody ever cares about what we do or what happens to us. As long as they get paid for our "services" no one cares. Nor do they show much concern when we call in a 10-78 (officer requires assistance) which usually means we're fighting for our lives and may lose control of the situation.

As a side note I DO NOT sleep on duty, infact I have done 24 hour shifts without sleep before. The record holder in our company went 3 days STRAIGHT before passing out in a pile of beer bottles... oh the pictures they got of that

[Samaliel]

So Bob isn't just an idiot, he's also costing his company $300 a nap.

So he's not just an idiot, he's a costly idiot? Well, to some people, it's the best kind there is. Some people will spend heaps of money to hear what they want to hear rather than hire people who would tell them what they need to be told for half the price.

The record holder in our company went 3 days STRAIGHT before passing out in a pile of beer bottles...

Is it even legal to have anyone work for 24 hours straight without rest?

[Andara Bledin]

<3

C: “Thanks, you are the best!”

Tall praise for taking 9 seconds of my time to punch a phone number into a pager. But seeing as its remarkably accurate and incredibly insightful of her I will take it none the less.

Well, she is right...

Spetacles

Ok, tonight must be a full moon.

*checks the timestamp*
Yup. It was indeed a full moon.

It was immensely….glittery…and I assume it provides +40 Fire Resistance. With this she had an equally shiny purse that cast off light like a disco ball. Perhaps woven from the same corpse. She also had on skin tight gold spandex tights on that provided +5 “Moose Knuckle”. The only break in this glittery gold theme was her shoes. Which appeared to have been forged from a mixture of rhinestones and rings of the purest Dwarven Mithril.

I am sorry to break this to you, but the current fashion trends seem to be veering towards sequins, rhinestones, and shiny fabrics. Plus either form-fitting or loose and sack-like, with the options being either leggings or skinny jeans or harem (dropped crotch) pants. There is no win, here.

Although, I love the glowing parts of the guy's ensemble. The rest is awful, however.

Apparently, I provide a security factor. What factor, I’m not sure. As I wasn’t about to do anything to assist him from the first call anyhow. So it was more of a placebo effect than anything else. Still, I like the term security factor and assume that I provide at least Security Factor 5 when added to the player’s party.

It sounds like they used you for a surrogate spine. They called to show whoever that they were serious and used the threat, ephemeral as it was, of police back-up... or something... so they could suck it up and toss the person on their own.

Seconding this. Looking at past posts he's been doing this sort of thing for a while.

I'm wondering if Bob was even on site, if he wasn't aware that the police were there trying to "wake him up."

^-.-^

[Megg]

I just thought you would like to know, GK. I was in traffic the other day, and some goofy ass soccer mom with a cell phone in her hand cut me off, and almost hit me. I got a bit road-rage on her and yelled at her. My kids looked at me weird. Know what I yelled?

"What are you, from Nunavut or something?!?"

No lie.

[NightWatch]

We don't cover dead bodies because it may disturb any evidence surrounding the body. Every death is treated like a crime scene until it has been completely catalogued and photographed. It's Hollywood and the medics who fuck it up by covering the body. Our Sergeants have been known to chew a new bumhole on any offending medic.
To avoid the gawking hordes, the officers need to set up a containment area with ropes and signs. You're just lucky they didn't close down the whole damn station, thus making you late to work. :P