You should invest in a dictionary...

[MystyGlyttyr]

I need to wait for my dirty rice to cool down so I'm going to share this little phone conversation with ya'll from work today.

Not that it matters a lot, but our website is a paid subscription site. You can look at headlines and read the first paragraph or so of stories, but you have to log in to see the rest. And you have to be subscribed to it to look at our archives. I think they sell one-time use passwords but I'm not sure, not my department, not relevant, just saying. Anyway.

Me: "Newsroom."
Dumb Chick: "Yes, I'm trying to look up something from ya'll's archives, say about three months ago?"
Me: "Okay, are you a subscriber to our website?"
DC: *long pause* "Um, what?"
Me: "Are you subscribed to our website?"
DC: *long pause* "...I can pull up the website on the computer, if that's what you mean."
Me: "Okay, so you have a subscription to the site?"
DC: "Um...I, I don't...I don't understand what you mean."
Me: .....oy. "Okay, ma'am, you know how you can be subscribed to like, magazines and stuff, right?"
DC: "Uh-huh."
Me: "Okay, so are you subscribed to the website?"
DC: "......uh, I don't know what you mean..."
Me: "Can you read all the stories on the site?"
DC: "I can see all the stories, yes."
Me: "Okay, so you can see them...can you read all of them?"
DC: "How do you mean?"
Me: *sigh* "Can you read all the way to the end of the story?"
DC: "I see them!"
Me: "The entire story?"
DC: "Sure!"
Me: "Okay, so go to the archives section..."
DC: "Oh, I tried to go there but it said I had to be subscribed."
Me: "So you aren't subscribed?"
DC: "Um, I don't...um...what do you mean subscribed?"

At that point, it was either transfer her to the people who handle the subscriptions or start screaming and never stop, so I picked the first and ate three brownies in a row.

And now, my rice is the perfect temperature. Nom nom nom.

[tropicsgoddess]

Oh lord...that one sounded just like the customers I get at work...except try troubleshooting their computer for BASIC email and connection issues. I feel your pain, here's a little , Mysty.

[Akasa]

Wow, that's just... wow.

[finlayfox]

ma'am., MA'AM! now listen to me. are there any bricks nearby? I need to know if you have hit your head so that I can know whether to call an ambulance for you or if i should telepathically stab you with my logic-knife.

[Aethian]

I have a feeling she hasn't had some things explained to her in person yet. She knows how to go on but as for doing a whole lot of things is clueless.

Got one lady I have helped set up an e-mail account and almost everyday is asking me for help to get her into said e-mail.

[wagegoth]

Dirty rice, pretty please?! I haven't had any in years. Mysty, you've started a craving that may require that I drive all the way to West Oakland.

[Sheldonrs]

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.


First thing that popped into my head.

[MystyGlyttyr]

So many people ask for my dirty rice recipe...I think I should just post it up on Off Topic!

And yeah, I figured I'd make sure she knew what the word meant, and she said she did when it came to magazines and the like, but...yeah...who knows? I don't know how circulation (the ones who do website subscriptions) ever got rid of her.

[telecom_goddess]

Dirty rice, pretty please?! I haven't had any in years. Mysty, you've started a craving that may require that I drive all the way to West Oakland.

West Oakland? What state are you in again?

I ask because I grew up in EAST Oakland California

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

This sums it up the best.