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As the title states, I have a terrible sense of direction. If my friends and I are ever lost, all they have to do is ask me which direction I think we should go in, and then go the opposite way. I haven't been wrong yet (yes, I know I really haven't been right yet, but I like to think of it this way instead 
) So I get a call (this might get confusing without street names, but I'll try)
SC: What crossroad are you on?
Me: Main rd. and small rd.
SC: I don't know that one.
Me: Oh, well are you on main rd?
SC: Yes
Me: Do you know big rd?
SC: Yes
Me: We're just two lights away from that.
SC: I'm confused, what stores are you by?
Me: The big red bulls-eye place
SC: I don't know where they are.
Me: Right on the corner of big rd. Do you know where fake mexican fast food place is?
SC: YES!
Me: Ok, we're in the same parking lot as them
SC: I still don't know where I'm going.
Me: ...ok. Are you driving towards major town 1 or major town 2? (The main rd. she's on connects the 2 towns.)
SC: I'm going towards "placewhereyouareville"
Me: Alright, but are you going towards major town 1, or major town 2?
SC: I'm going towards "pwyaville"
Me: ...ok, where are you coming from?
SC: I'M GOING TOWARDS "PWYAVILLE!"
Me: Yes, I know that, but we're literally in the middle of the two towns. If you're coming from #1 than you turn left at the 2nd light after major rd, if you're coming from #2 than when you hit major rd. you have to turn around. You said that you know where fake mexican place is, right?
SC: YES!
Me: We're in the same parking lot.
SC: Never mind! I just found you, thanks.
I get a call from another store 10 minutes later thanking me for setting some bitchy lady on them. She complained that we weren't helpful and made her nervous and she almost had an accident. Ok, the store she ended up at isn't in "pwyaville" and it isn't even close to main rd. Oh, and it's 40 minutes away from us. It's not like she called the wrong place, she made it very clear that she was coming to our store.
Most annoying customer of the day
I'm stocking notions like a fiend. We have 3 boxes to get out in and hour, and each of those boxes can hold like, 70 small things. AND, our online system is down so I can't check their store placement. I was given this task because I usually never use the location checker, because it annoys me. My manager told me that if the bell at the register rings, she'll grab it. Don't stop stocking for anything and send any questions her way. A few people had questions that I could answer just fine while still stocking, and then comes this lady.
SC: Where're your fabric marking pens?
Me: Right on the other side of this isle.
SC: Do you have any patterns for bags?
Me: Yup, just look in those catalogs there (the table was 8 feet away) under accessories.
SC: Which book?
Me: All of them. Some have bags, others don't. We just put out the fall catalogs and I haven't had a chance to look through them yet. But if you open up the book they're separated by section.
SC: (Looks through a book, then comes back.) Ok, I need you to come over here (Suddenly snotty)
Me: Why?
SC: I looked under 5,000, but the whole drawer is empty.
Me: It might be in the drawer above it.
SC: It's not!
Me: If the pattern is not there, then we are out. Which number is it?
SC: M5...
Me: That's a macalls pattern, you're looking in the butternick drawers. Go to the macalls section, back there.
SC: Why can't you help me?
Me: I am. They're right in those drawers, the ones that say macalls.
SC: UGH! (She storms off, then makes a very big deal about not being able to find things. She walks up and down the isles talking to her daughter, "Zippers! Where are ZIPPERS! I point to where they are and she goes in the opposite direction. Her daughter, 4 at the most, shrugs and walks to the zipper isle, picks out the right one, comes back and asks me if it'll work, and then takes the zipper to her mom who is standing in the PAPER isle looking for zippers. Then I hear her screaming, I just wanna get out of here, ugh! I walk back upfront to put away the home dec notions and I see her at the register, screaming at a cw. She doesn't believe that we can use only one coupon. Makes her void items, and then complains that she doesn't think they were really voided. Then she has my cw return the transaction, and do it all over again. All of this takes 30 minutes because she keeps making my cw do things over again and void crap and junk.)
Go faster
How come it is that the people who want to get out the fastest are always the ones who already spent two hours in the store shopping in a leisurely manner. If you're going to be late somewhere don't blame me, you should have left an hour ago. Don't wait till 5 minutes before whatever to checkout. If there is a line, invading the personal space of the person in front of you is not going to make the person in front of them get out of there faster. If you have 40 pieces of embroidery thread, don't think that I'll be able to scan them all in a second. Yes, I have to scan each one individually. Why? Because they're different colors. Did you buy 40 bundles of green thread? No, well our system doesn't know that. Oh, and swiping your card over and over while the screen says please wait isn't going to work. And if the machine snaps from its post because you used so much force to swipe your card through, then ease up a little the next time and don't get mad at me that I have to move to another register and do the whole thing over again. I thought I told you to ease up some? No, our machines aren't defective and they're not rhinos, so don't get mixed up and think you're trying to push a rhino over a cliff when in reality you're just swiping a card through a slot. This woman broke 2 of our machines. We epoxied them back together. She thought it was us. No, thousands of people have made it through a transaction on these same machines without breaking them. Sorry honey, it's you.
samples
SC: Can you cut any samples of this fabric?
Me: No, only the fabric on the rolls hanging up in these isles.
SC:...then how is anyone supposed to know if it matches? (Said in an "a, duh" kinda way.)
Me: Well, you could buy a little piece. (A, duh)
strange question? Not really
SC: I have a weird question. (Said as if I was going to bite her head off.)
Now, when someone starts off with that, it can mean a few things.
a. You have a weird question
b. your question isn't really that weird
c. you're stupid
d. You like to be the center of attention and are about to talk the ear off of a poor employee for a simple question.
SC: I'm making a pillow for a client and it's their band logo. It's like blah blah blah with an arch over it in red and blue and blah blah blah and they're really just starting out but I heard them and they sounded good and there're 5 of them and blah blah blah, and he has curly blond hair, blah blah blah, buttocks, blah, blah blah, and the monkey pooped in the bath tub.
Me:...ok...what was your question?
SC: Oh, is there anyway I can draw the logo on the pillow. See they're going to take it on tour with them and have their favorite bands sign it and I guess that means it has to be made from a fabric you can write on and I think I'm going to make it this size and use a blanket stitching around the edge to make it funky and they could put it in the bus, it's really nice, I'm doing curtains for it because you know they're going to be sleeping there and blah blah blah, noodles, blah blah, right?
Me:...so basically you just want to know if there's anyway to write on fabric?
SC: Yes (Argh, then why didn't you just say so! See, not a weird question. You just like to talk and explain and please, god, please accidentally faint while you're sewing this legendary pillow and accidentally sew your lips shut with a whimsical blanket stitch in a pretty purple thread. I think you'd be doing the world a favor.)
Me: Ok, regular sharpie marker would work fine, but it'll fade over time. We have all sorts of fabric markers in the last isle. You can buy a pack or choose the colors you like.
SC: Thanks!
Me: I'm going to go eat some chocolate.
) So I get a call (this might get confusing without street names, but I'll try)SC: What crossroad are you on?
Me: Main rd. and small rd.
SC: I don't know that one.
Me: Oh, well are you on main rd?
SC: Yes
Me: Do you know big rd?
SC: Yes
Me: We're just two lights away from that.
SC: I'm confused, what stores are you by?
Me: The big red bulls-eye place
SC: I don't know where they are.
Me: Right on the corner of big rd. Do you know where fake mexican fast food place is?
SC: YES!
Me: Ok, we're in the same parking lot as them
SC: I still don't know where I'm going.
Me: ...ok. Are you driving towards major town 1 or major town 2? (The main rd. she's on connects the 2 towns.)
SC: I'm going towards "placewhereyouareville"
Me: Alright, but are you going towards major town 1, or major town 2?
SC: I'm going towards "pwyaville"
Me: ...ok, where are you coming from?
SC: I'M GOING TOWARDS "PWYAVILLE!"
Me: Yes, I know that, but we're literally in the middle of the two towns. If you're coming from #1 than you turn left at the 2nd light after major rd, if you're coming from #2 than when you hit major rd. you have to turn around. You said that you know where fake mexican place is, right?
SC: YES!
Me: We're in the same parking lot.
SC: Never mind! I just found you, thanks.
I get a call from another store 10 minutes later thanking me for setting some bitchy lady on them. She complained that we weren't helpful and made her nervous and she almost had an accident. Ok, the store she ended up at isn't in "pwyaville" and it isn't even close to main rd. Oh, and it's 40 minutes away from us. It's not like she called the wrong place, she made it very clear that she was coming to our store.
Most annoying customer of the day
I'm stocking notions like a fiend. We have 3 boxes to get out in and hour, and each of those boxes can hold like, 70 small things. AND, our online system is down so I can't check their store placement. I was given this task because I usually never use the location checker, because it annoys me. My manager told me that if the bell at the register rings, she'll grab it. Don't stop stocking for anything and send any questions her way. A few people had questions that I could answer just fine while still stocking, and then comes this lady.
SC: Where're your fabric marking pens?
Me: Right on the other side of this isle.
SC: Do you have any patterns for bags?
Me: Yup, just look in those catalogs there (the table was 8 feet away) under accessories.
SC: Which book?
Me: All of them. Some have bags, others don't. We just put out the fall catalogs and I haven't had a chance to look through them yet. But if you open up the book they're separated by section.
SC: (Looks through a book, then comes back.) Ok, I need you to come over here (Suddenly snotty)
Me: Why?
SC: I looked under 5,000, but the whole drawer is empty.
Me: It might be in the drawer above it.
SC: It's not!
Me: If the pattern is not there, then we are out. Which number is it?
SC: M5...
Me: That's a macalls pattern, you're looking in the butternick drawers. Go to the macalls section, back there.
SC: Why can't you help me?
Me: I am. They're right in those drawers, the ones that say macalls.
SC: UGH! (She storms off, then makes a very big deal about not being able to find things. She walks up and down the isles talking to her daughter, "Zippers! Where are ZIPPERS! I point to where they are and she goes in the opposite direction. Her daughter, 4 at the most, shrugs and walks to the zipper isle, picks out the right one, comes back and asks me if it'll work, and then takes the zipper to her mom who is standing in the PAPER isle looking for zippers. Then I hear her screaming, I just wanna get out of here, ugh! I walk back upfront to put away the home dec notions and I see her at the register, screaming at a cw. She doesn't believe that we can use only one coupon. Makes her void items, and then complains that she doesn't think they were really voided. Then she has my cw return the transaction, and do it all over again. All of this takes 30 minutes because she keeps making my cw do things over again and void crap and junk.)
Go faster
How come it is that the people who want to get out the fastest are always the ones who already spent two hours in the store shopping in a leisurely manner. If you're going to be late somewhere don't blame me, you should have left an hour ago. Don't wait till 5 minutes before whatever to checkout. If there is a line, invading the personal space of the person in front of you is not going to make the person in front of them get out of there faster. If you have 40 pieces of embroidery thread, don't think that I'll be able to scan them all in a second. Yes, I have to scan each one individually. Why? Because they're different colors. Did you buy 40 bundles of green thread? No, well our system doesn't know that. Oh, and swiping your card over and over while the screen says please wait isn't going to work. And if the machine snaps from its post because you used so much force to swipe your card through, then ease up a little the next time and don't get mad at me that I have to move to another register and do the whole thing over again. I thought I told you to ease up some? No, our machines aren't defective and they're not rhinos, so don't get mixed up and think you're trying to push a rhino over a cliff when in reality you're just swiping a card through a slot. This woman broke 2 of our machines. We epoxied them back together. She thought it was us. No, thousands of people have made it through a transaction on these same machines without breaking them. Sorry honey, it's you.
samples
SC: Can you cut any samples of this fabric?
Me: No, only the fabric on the rolls hanging up in these isles.
SC:...then how is anyone supposed to know if it matches? (Said in an "a, duh" kinda way.)
Me: Well, you could buy a little piece. (A, duh)
strange question? Not really
SC: I have a weird question. (Said as if I was going to bite her head off.)
Now, when someone starts off with that, it can mean a few things.
a. You have a weird question
b. your question isn't really that weird
c. you're stupid
d. You like to be the center of attention and are about to talk the ear off of a poor employee for a simple question.
SC: I'm making a pillow for a client and it's their band logo. It's like blah blah blah with an arch over it in red and blue and blah blah blah and they're really just starting out but I heard them and they sounded good and there're 5 of them and blah blah blah, and he has curly blond hair, blah blah blah, buttocks, blah, blah blah, and the monkey pooped in the bath tub.
Me:...ok...what was your question?
SC: Oh, is there anyway I can draw the logo on the pillow. See they're going to take it on tour with them and have their favorite bands sign it and I guess that means it has to be made from a fabric you can write on and I think I'm going to make it this size and use a blanket stitching around the edge to make it funky and they could put it in the bus, it's really nice, I'm doing curtains for it because you know they're going to be sleeping there and blah blah blah, noodles, blah blah, right?
Me:...so basically you just want to know if there's anyway to write on fabric?
SC: Yes (Argh, then why didn't you just say so! See, not a weird question. You just like to talk and explain and please, god, please accidentally faint while you're sewing this legendary pillow and accidentally sew your lips shut with a whimsical blanket stitch in a pretty purple thread. I think you'd be doing the world a favor.)
Me: Ok, regular sharpie marker would work fine, but it'll fade over time. We have all sorts of fabric markers in the last isle. You can buy a pack or choose the colors you like.
SC: Thanks!
Me: I'm going to go eat some chocolate.
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