The Doors, the Wailers, and the Misfits! With special guests!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Sounds like a concert I'd attend.

Doors are a necessity in today's society

So is the reading comprehension necessary to understand the signs on them!

I was coming back in from doing one of my many carryouts today. Some woman and her mom were leaving. I heard mom say "These doors sure are heavy and they're hard to open."

This is true--especially when you're trying to exit through the automatic entrance doors.

But Wally World is so much nicer!

We had been running another one of our loyalty coupon specials this week. The coupon comes attached to your sales flier that's mailed to you if you're a loyalty card member, and it's good for $X off a $Y purchase. Dollar amounts are determined by your spending habits at the swamp.

Anyhoo, some lady purchased a couple electric Razor scooters and used her loyalty coupon. Today she returned the scooters because of buyer's remorse or some other reason, and wanted a do-over on her coupon.

Ummm, no. Just no. That's not how this works. If you buy a can a soup and present a coupon at the checkout, and return the can of soup later, you don't get your coupon back. Lady demanded a manager and got shot down. As a parting shot, she bellowed "Wal-Mart would've done whatever it took to make me happy!"

Then why are you wasting your time here, fuckknob? Go darken their doorstep. Not ours. We've been $5-10K over salesplan every day this week, so we don't really need your chump change.

And then later some other lady complained about the cleanliness of the women's bathroom, and said we should have somebody cleaning it hourly, because Wally World has somebody checking on their bathrooms hourly, and she knows this because she talks to the person who cleans them every day, which makes me wonder if this means she talks to herself.

Then go pee and poo in their toilets, not ours! Geez....

They're all out today...

Three of our irregulars graced us with their presence today. Three!

Code Pink- As I've mentioned before, she's this crazy girl who visits the swamp often and goes on Tourette's fits and asks people stupid questions over and over again and buys stuff and returns it all, usually sans receipt.

It's even better when her mom is in tow. Then you get to hear her screaming at her mom across the store. "WHY ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME! YOU DON'T NEED TO BE GOING WHERE I'M GOING! GO SIT ON THAT BENCH THERE UNTIL I'M DONE!"

Mom yells back. There's something wrong with her too.

Sideshow Bob- This guy who looks like a bum, has this huge, unkempt mop of gray hair down past his shoulders, and must have flat feet because he walks weird. He likes to corner people to ask them stupid questions today. Today, he was complaining to one of the ladies in optical about some razor, and AARP, and we were cheating him out of...something. Or something like that.

Everybody else calls him Eraserhead. I prefer to call him Sideshow Bob, because he looks like Sideshow Bob.

Boner Man- This guy doesn't visit nearly as often as he used to, but it's always entertaining when he does. That's because he always comes to the store sporting a tent in the pants region. And then he heads over to magazines and grabs a magazine to hold over his happy place, so that you won't see he's got a hard-on, but the magazine makes it rather obvious so you can't really help but gawk and giggle because who walks around rigidly holding a magazine over his crotchal region everyplace he goes?

One of the service desk ladies pointed him out to me today.

Losing the Loser Lottery:

The two closing floor people tonight happen to be the two laziest floor people we have, and it was hellishly busy today. In fact, at about 4:20 this afternoon I had to run around doing price checks while trying to schlep two items to a customer because one floor person was backup cashiering and the other wasn't down yet because he was supposed to start at 4:15 but was abusing the hell out of the 7-minute rule again.

I couldn't even get all my autopulls done before I left. Betcha those two losers just stuff a dump bin full of everything and anything that was in the system tonight, and leave it for the openers tomorrow. This will make them very unhappy, and they will ask me why this happened. When they do, I'm outing those two fucks.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

I think you need to get rid of that seven minute rule...or at least make it a three minute rule.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I forgot one:

Picnic in a shopping cart

When bringing in carts, we're supposed to be checking them for garbage left behind by piggish people, and throwing it out. If customers find crap in their carts, they complain about us. Not the piggish people who leave the garbage.

I found the following in shopping carts in one particular parking-lot corral:

• An empty McDonald's bag and cup
• An empty Lays potato chip bag
• An empty Del Monte fruit cup

Geez, do all my customers live in barns or something?

[fireheart]

I really don't get the logic behind why people mention "But <store> will do this/that/bend time and space/provide me with untold riches" all the time. Especially if it's a huge company.

[MrsEclipse]

This will make them very unhappy, and they will ask me why this happened. When they do, I'm outing those two fucks.

I hope you get a chance to. I hate it when lazy people get away with being lazy. Seriously. They're so lazy.

Also, I might attend a concert with a headliner like that. Who would they get to open for them? Shopping Cart Trash? Code Pink (sounds like a heavy metal girl band)? Fucknob?

[Samaliel]

There's nothing wrong with being lazy per se, but it's just like being special: there is a wrong kind.

The right kind of lazy plan things through and do their job efficiently, so they spend less energy and less time on one task and try to get it right the first time around.

The wrong kind of lazy spend most of their time and energy pretending to work, finding scapegoats to blame when things go wrong and don't give a damn about whether their job is done right.

[Nohbody]

The right kind of lazy plan things through and do their job efficiently, so they spend less energy and less time on one task and try to get it right the first time around.

See also Robert Heinlein's story "The Man Who was Too Lazy to Fail", in Time Enough for Love.

[MannersMakethMan]

[*]An empty Del Monte fruit cup

The man from Del Monte want you to say "I'll take this to the bin, not the trolley"

[Antisocial_Worker]

Boner Man- This guy doesn't visit nearly as often as he used to, but it's always entertaining when he does. That's because he always comes to the store sporting a tent in the pants region. And then he heads over to magazines and grabs a magazine to hold over his happy place, so that you won't see he's got a hard-on, but the magazine makes it rather obvious so you can't really help but gawk and giggle because who walks around rigidly holding a magazine over his crotchal region everyplace he goes?

One of the service desk ladies pointed him out to me today.

If he shops for more than four hours, does he need to call his doctor?

[Jester]

...he was supposed to start at 4:15 but was abusing the hell out of the 7-minute rule again.

Seven minute rule? What is this seven minute rule you speak of? From the context, it sounds like it is a rule whereby employees can be up to 7 minutes late. Which sounds completely insane to me.

See, working in restaurants, your in time is not the time you are supposed to walk in, but the time you are supposed to be there, dressed in your uniform, clocked in, and ready to work. There was a saying at one chain I worked at, which I have heard at other establishments, that stated: "Early is on time. On time is late. Late is unacceptable." Sure, it sounds like corporate claptrap. But the fact is, it's spot on. Sure, we all run late occasionally. Just last week I overslept for one of my day shifts and showed up 30 minutes late to open the bar. The good thing is that I am damn good at what I do, and I knocked out in the 30 minutes left before we opened the doors what normally takes an hour. (Well, all the really important stuff.) And I didn't catch too much grief for my tardiness because it is such a rare event, and because I still got everything done. But the huge difference between me and your coworkers is that MY tardiness in no way negatively impacted my coworkers, management, or bar.

Seven minute rule. Yeah, right.

There's nothing wrong with being lazy per se, but it's just like being special: there is a wrong kind.

The right kind of lazy plan things through and do their job efficiently, so they spend less energy and less time on one task and try to get it right the first time around.

Totally agreed. I am a lazy fuckwad. Seriously. But years ago I realized that I truly hate doing things twice or more, so now I make sure I do them right the first time so that I don't have to do them again. I am what I call "efficiently lazy." I find the best and easiest way to do something so that I won't have to do it again, and so that I won't get grief from my management or coworkers about not doing it right the first time.

Ironically, my "efficient laziness" often comes across as my busting my ass more than a lot of others. Which is just fine by me.

[Imogene]

Losing the Loser Lottery:

So, if you lose at losing, does that mean you win?

[sms001]

Irv, I agree with the idea so whole-heartedly that I'm giving you a bus to throw the two good-for-nothings under.


Put me in the efficient 'cause I'm lazy boat too. Heck, I often think of time-motion effort at work in terms of calories expended! What's really sad though, is [old fart mode] they don't really realize what WORK is. [/old fart mode] Digging a ditch, construction, farming, that's real work.

The tiring aspect of retail and food service is the psychology of it: the stress, the pace, the idjits. Sure, full meal trays get heavy by the end of the day, and restocking shelves is manual labor, but it just ain't that tough.

And they often (as has been pointed out) do MORE to avoid what they consider work than the work would entail. I had a guy on the shift before me who would routinely pull clean bowls from storage, walk them to the sinks, immerse them all in the sanitizer and then once I'd arrived, dry them and put them away. So it would LOOK like he had changed out the display deli items. Seriously. You skipped ONE STEP. But I guess the satisfaction of sticking it to the corporation by not actually doing the job is worth it.

Oh, and Nohbody: The sad and telling part of 'The Man Who was too Lazy to Fail" is Heinlein's remark that after David(?) leaves a job, his successors quickly revert to the old method of doing things.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Seven minute rule? What is this seven minute rule you speak of? From the context, it sounds like it is a rule whereby employees can be up to 7 minutes late. Which sounds completely insane to me.

Well, kinda. On the computer we use to punch in or out on, you can punch seven minutes before or seven minutes after your scheduled time, and it will round to that time.

For example, if you're scheduled to start at 9:00, if you punch in anytime between 8:53 and 9:07, it will show that you punched in at 9:00.

That said, the managers can run a report showing the times you punched in and out at exactly to the second. So if you're using the seven minutes to punch in late or leave early, they'll know about it.

The guy I mentioned who came in late yesterday got caught abusing the seven minutes in rather amusing fashion. The manager snuck up right behind him because he'd been in the break room for about 10 minutes waiting for the clock to hit seven before the hour, and when he went to punch she got right in his personal space and told him "You need to read this"--a note she left about the seven minute rule.

It's nice she at least is reminding people of this rule, but let's see some follow through, since he hasn't changed his behavior one bit.

[Samaliel]

See also Robert Heinlein's story "The Man Who was Too Lazy to Fail", in Time Enough for Love.

I'll need to look into that. I've heard only good things about Heinlein's stories so far, so I really should give it a try.

I was more thinking about Victor Tugelbend from the "Moving Pictures" Discworld novel, who strangely fits both categories: he exercises a lot because he thinks being fat as the average mage would be too tiresome, and studies hard because he wants to fail his exams but have a good enough grade so he can continue to enjoy life as UU student.

But in restrospect, I don't think it was a smart move from my 10th grade Maths teacher to teach us there's a right kind of lazy. Haven't done much more than the strict required minimum ever since...

[Andara Bledin]

This guy who looks like a bum, has this huge, unkempt mop of gray hair down past his shoulders, and must have flat feet because he walks weird.

Flat feet generally won't make you walk weird. Having flat feet is actually a symptom of one of a variety of different problems, and sometimes isn't actually a problem at all, depending on the situation.

I really don't get the logic behind why people mention "But <store> will do this/that/bend time and space/provide me with untold riches" all the time.

Because they're lying and trying to get something they know they aren't supposed to get by saying they'd get it at some other place, and you don't want them to go there, do you?

The right kind of lazy plan things through and do their job efficiently, so they spend less energy and less time on one task and try to get it right the first time around.

The wrong kind of lazy spend most of their time and energy pretending to work, finding scapegoats to blame when things go wrong and don't give a damn about whether their job is done right.

Bingo!

There's smart lazy and stupid lazy. Stupid lazy people end up doing more for less (and often having to do it over again, to boot) while smart lazy do less for more and make sure it's done correctly the first time around.

You can guess which group I belong to...

What's really sad though, is [old fart mode] they don't really realize what WORK is. [/old fart mode] Digging a ditch, construction, farming, that's real work.

Anything you are paid to do is "real work." 'nuff said.

^-.-^