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massive sales, burning diarrhea, and Crazy Cowboy Hat Guy
last week our chain had a gigantic sale for its 75th anniversary - the majority of items on sale were 75c, or $1.75, or $2.75, etc etc. So naturally we were absolutely slammed the entire week, and thank god I only worked a couple of those days because even that was enough to crack me. 
Didn't have too many SCs for some reason. Normally sales bring out the worst in people. But I couldn't handle working constantly, and I do mean CONSTANTLY. Aside from my break (15 minutes, woo) I had maybe three minutes without a customer in six hours. Super stress overload GO!
So one guy forgot his purchase, like three bags worth of stuff. Just walks off without it. It happens. But this is towards the end of my third day in a row like this; I had a headache, my back was killing me (I had wrenched something earlier that day), I had no bagger, four customers in line, and there was a shopping cart blocking my way out of the register so I couldn't run after him even if I was in top form. I pretty much had a breakdown right there, crying and shaking and all. I called a sup to come help me because I couldn't handle it. She worked my register for about ten minutes while I calmed down in the cash office, and she was super cool about it. The current customer was cool, too, trying to help calm me down and saying things like "Take your time, I'm in no hurry" etc.
So I'm glad that's over with.
EXCUSE ME THAT IS NASTY.
Thursday some guy comes up with a pen in his mouth. He proceeds to explain that he found it on the ground, picked it up, put it in his mouth presumably for easier carrying, then put it ON MY COUNTER AND LEFT IT THERE. WALKED AWAY. leaving a DROOLY PEN ON MY COUNTER.
i grabbed a wad of paper towel and the belt-cleaning disinfectant, cleaned both pens on my counter (as i wasn't sure which was which), the counter, and any surface within three feet.
also quite nasty
Thursday night, around nine pm it was just me, fellow cashier D, manager B, and sup R. R disappears to who knows where, doing supervisor things I suppose, and manager B comes out to talk to me and D.
ManB: You guys are gonna hate me.
D: ...why?
ManB: They're cleaning out the grease traps in Deli and Meat. In about 15 minutes it's gonna smell really bad in here.
D and I: oh god.
ManB: They never give us any warning, and they never do it after the store closes. I don't know why the hell they do that but it's annoying.
and sure enough, all the rest of that night smelled like a mixture of wet dog and burning diarrhea. (yum.) customers complained, we held our breath, found every excuse to go into the bottle return area by the front doors, decided unanimously that the trash wouldn't get taken back, all to try and avoid that smell.
heart attack in a can
Then I go back for my shift Friday afternoon, fully expecting a lingering ass smell, and was pleasantly surprised when there was none.
My first customer, however, had $6 of Halloween candy and a four-pack of Monster caffeine corn syrup and food colouring drink. She paid with EBT food stamps. Now, in Michigan, as far as I'm aware it has always been and will continue to be illegal to pay for Monster with EBT. As in, the system will not let it through, there is no way to circumvent it. Something about Monster is an energy supplement and as such not essential or some other reasoning that basically evens out to IT'S A HEART ATTACK IN A CAN WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR IT.
Me: Alright, and there's $6.75 left over.
L: For what?
Me: The Monster.
L: Are you serious!?
Me: Yep. Monster isn't allowed under EBT.
L: It has always been allowed!
Me: For far longer than I've worked here it's been illegal to sell energy drinks under EBT.
L: EVERY OTHER STORE IN THE WORLD lets me do it.
Me: Well, we never have, as it's against the law and we'd lose our EBT licence (I am possibly fibbing here, I don't know the rules, but it sounded good and I wanted rid of her).
L: FINE! Take it off, I don't have no fuckin 6.75 to pay for it.
Me: *silently voids off the Monster and puts it under the register, then gives her the receipt*
L: It says you have to give me forty cents, right here.
Me: *doesn't argue, gives her the money so she'll shut up and gtfo of my store*
L: *huffs off with her halloween candy*
I guess she went over to her friend at another register and was yelling "THIS IS THE ONLY STORE IN THE WORLD blah blah bullshit blah". Whatever. not my fault you can't use welfare money for your crac--i mean, caffeine addiction.
Turns out I was 40c short at the end of the day. The -.40 that showed on the receipt was indicating that it had taken off the deposit as well as the price of the drinks. Fucking bitch. So now one of my transactions is in a report dealing with some issue that the EBT system is having, and I will not be the least surprised if Bitch Manager decides to chew me out for being off, even though we can be $2.50 off and still be alright.
and these are all from today (tuesday).
is cheese really that important?
we're still doing pretty good sales. specifically 75c for shredded cheese. Only specific flavours, though. for example: mild cheddar, medium cheddar, marble cheddar. Mozzarella and sharp cheddar are not included in this sale, and will ring up $1.50 or whatever the original price is.
Cheese Lady brings up her groceries, including four bags of shredded sharp cheddar. i didn't know about the exclusions from the sale at this point, mind you. This is also the cheapest brand of cheese we have anyway (the sort that isn't really cheese at all).
CL: And the cheese is 75 cents, right?
Me: *blissfully ignorant* Should be. *scans* Oh, no, it's ringing up full price. Why is that?
I turn around and ask Manager A, conveniently at the register behind me. She says no, the sharp cheddar is not on sale.
CL: *irritated* Well fine then, I'll have to go back and get another kind.
She pays, puts her basket out of the way, and goes back to the dairy section to get her precious cheese.
She comes back up a few minutes later, while I'm in the middle of checking a young couple.
CL: That cheese is on sale, it said on the sign.
Me: Well, if the manager said it's not, I can't do anything about it.
CL: But it is on sale.
Me: The manager said it's not.
CL: Well, she's wrong!
Me: You'll either have to go talk to her or get another kind of cheese, I'm sorry.
CL stalks over to where I've put the cheese out of the way, grabs it, and goes through another register with it. I don't know if the other cashier let it through because she didn't know, or if it was a different kind of cheese, all I know is she left without another word to me.
I mentioned this to A, who made sure I hadn't sold it to her, and told me I'd done the right thing refusing her.
Ugh.
Me: Hi, how are you?
SC: I wanted a raincheck for *item* and *item*, there's none back there.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do rainchecks here, you'll have to go to the service counter.
SC: Well, why not?
Me: The management doesn't allow cashiers to write rainchecks, only the service counter is able to do that.
SC: You should really write rainchecks at the register. I have all these groceries that I can't leave here, but I need *some stupid expensive "health-food" product*. It's bad for business that you don't write rainchecks.
Me: (Do you really think I'm doing this to spite you? If I could I would just to shut you up.) I'm sorry, that's the rule.
I really hate when people ignore your greeting and just treat you like a robot.
I also hate this:
Me: Would you like paper or plastic?
SC: Paper, if you have it/if you don't mind.
1. Would I offer it if I didn't have it? Seriously. Think.
2. I'm not allowed to mind.
The Crazy Cowboy Hat Guy epic
So, Crazy Cowboy Hat Guy. Where to begin. Well, ever since I've worked at this store (about fourteen months, give or take a week) we've had this guy come in almost every day. He's about sixty, going quite senile, and always wears a cowboy hat. (Also the same red shirt. Always. Sometimes a leather jacket.) One of the supervisors said that he was in a car accident and received brain damage, which is why he is the way he is (obnoxious). He doesn't have a driver's licence but lives two miles away, so most of the time he walks. (Consequently, more often that not he stinks.) He'll bring in his little cart, walk slowly around the store three or four times, then get in line, talk to everyone in line (I do mean EVERYone), and just generally be super annoying. All the cashiers hate him and try their best to avoid him.
He almost entered Coworker K's line today. She fobbed him off on me with some excuse about the customer she was helping's card wasn't reading and she needed authorisation (bullshit).
CCHG: Hello.
Me: (i was busy and didn't hear him.)
CCHG: HELLO?!
Me: Oh, sorry. Hi, how are you today?
CCHG: *ignores me and unloads his basket*
Transaction is fairly uneventful. He talks to the woman in line behind him. I give her a sympathetic look. He wants to write a check. OK, this is new. He's always paid cash before. He takes bloody FOR-EVER to write the thing, narrating each letter as he goes. The woman behind him is now giving me sympathetic looks.
CCHG: What's the total again? $48.26? How bout I just write it for an even fifty?
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do that without a check cashing card.
CCHG: But they're not giving those out anymore (true, for reasons not understood by anyone in the store)
Me: I know, I can't do cash back though.
CCHG: Well, fine. *takes longer*
The woman behind him is visibly impatient. He ignores her. He finally hands me the check, complaining about how he can't get a check cashing card, and I write his state ID number across the top. Wait. There's no name printed on this. No address, nothing. Check Number 101. I excuse myself and head to the service counter to ask Manager A directly about this.
A: What's this? Why is there no name?
Me: It's from Cowboy Hat Guy.
A: *sigh* Come on.
We head back.
A: What's this you're giving me?
CCHG: A check.
A: But it has no name, I can't take this.
CCHG: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!
Everyone in the store: O_O
CCHG: FIRST YOU TELL ME I CAN'T HAVE A CHECK CARD, NOW YOU WON'T TAKE MY CHECK! I'M LEAVING!!
*silence*
CCHG starts walking out the door, with his $50 of groceries still in his cart. A starts voiding the transaction and tells me not to let him out the door. I refuse, as I was unsure of just how unstable he was. She goes after him instead, retrieves the groceries, tells him not to come back, and comes back to void his order.
One of the baggers says how he got caught stealing at another store in town and had a similar blowup. Glad he's gone.
thank god i have tomorrow off.
Didn't have too many SCs for some reason. Normally sales bring out the worst in people. But I couldn't handle working constantly, and I do mean CONSTANTLY. Aside from my break (15 minutes, woo) I had maybe three minutes without a customer in six hours. Super stress overload GO!
So one guy forgot his purchase, like three bags worth of stuff. Just walks off without it. It happens. But this is towards the end of my third day in a row like this; I had a headache, my back was killing me (I had wrenched something earlier that day), I had no bagger, four customers in line, and there was a shopping cart blocking my way out of the register so I couldn't run after him even if I was in top form. I pretty much had a breakdown right there, crying and shaking and all. I called a sup to come help me because I couldn't handle it. She worked my register for about ten minutes while I calmed down in the cash office, and she was super cool about it. The current customer was cool, too, trying to help calm me down and saying things like "Take your time, I'm in no hurry" etc.
So I'm glad that's over with.
EXCUSE ME THAT IS NASTY.
Thursday some guy comes up with a pen in his mouth. He proceeds to explain that he found it on the ground, picked it up, put it in his mouth presumably for easier carrying, then put it ON MY COUNTER AND LEFT IT THERE. WALKED AWAY. leaving a DROOLY PEN ON MY COUNTER.
i grabbed a wad of paper towel and the belt-cleaning disinfectant, cleaned both pens on my counter (as i wasn't sure which was which), the counter, and any surface within three feet.
also quite nasty
Thursday night, around nine pm it was just me, fellow cashier D, manager B, and sup R. R disappears to who knows where, doing supervisor things I suppose, and manager B comes out to talk to me and D.
ManB: You guys are gonna hate me.
D: ...why?
ManB: They're cleaning out the grease traps in Deli and Meat. In about 15 minutes it's gonna smell really bad in here.
D and I: oh god.
ManB: They never give us any warning, and they never do it after the store closes. I don't know why the hell they do that but it's annoying.
and sure enough, all the rest of that night smelled like a mixture of wet dog and burning diarrhea. (yum.) customers complained, we held our breath, found every excuse to go into the bottle return area by the front doors, decided unanimously that the trash wouldn't get taken back, all to try and avoid that smell.
heart attack in a can
Then I go back for my shift Friday afternoon, fully expecting a lingering ass smell, and was pleasantly surprised when there was none.
My first customer, however, had $6 of Halloween candy and a four-pack of Monster caffeine corn syrup and food colouring drink. She paid with EBT food stamps. Now, in Michigan, as far as I'm aware it has always been and will continue to be illegal to pay for Monster with EBT. As in, the system will not let it through, there is no way to circumvent it. Something about Monster is an energy supplement and as such not essential or some other reasoning that basically evens out to IT'S A HEART ATTACK IN A CAN WE'RE NOT PAYING FOR IT.
Me: Alright, and there's $6.75 left over.
L: For what?
Me: The Monster.
L: Are you serious!?
Me: Yep. Monster isn't allowed under EBT.
L: It has always been allowed!
Me: For far longer than I've worked here it's been illegal to sell energy drinks under EBT.
L: EVERY OTHER STORE IN THE WORLD lets me do it.
Me: Well, we never have, as it's against the law and we'd lose our EBT licence (I am possibly fibbing here, I don't know the rules, but it sounded good and I wanted rid of her).
L: FINE! Take it off, I don't have no fuckin 6.75 to pay for it.
Me: *silently voids off the Monster and puts it under the register, then gives her the receipt*
L: It says you have to give me forty cents, right here.
Me: *doesn't argue, gives her the money so she'll shut up and gtfo of my store*
L: *huffs off with her halloween candy*
I guess she went over to her friend at another register and was yelling "THIS IS THE ONLY STORE IN THE WORLD blah blah bullshit blah". Whatever. not my fault you can't use welfare money for your crac--i mean, caffeine addiction.
Turns out I was 40c short at the end of the day. The -.40 that showed on the receipt was indicating that it had taken off the deposit as well as the price of the drinks. Fucking bitch. So now one of my transactions is in a report dealing with some issue that the EBT system is having, and I will not be the least surprised if Bitch Manager decides to chew me out for being off, even though we can be $2.50 off and still be alright.
and these are all from today (tuesday).
is cheese really that important?
we're still doing pretty good sales. specifically 75c for shredded cheese. Only specific flavours, though. for example: mild cheddar, medium cheddar, marble cheddar. Mozzarella and sharp cheddar are not included in this sale, and will ring up $1.50 or whatever the original price is.
Cheese Lady brings up her groceries, including four bags of shredded sharp cheddar. i didn't know about the exclusions from the sale at this point, mind you. This is also the cheapest brand of cheese we have anyway (the sort that isn't really cheese at all).
CL: And the cheese is 75 cents, right?
Me: *blissfully ignorant* Should be. *scans* Oh, no, it's ringing up full price. Why is that?
I turn around and ask Manager A, conveniently at the register behind me. She says no, the sharp cheddar is not on sale.
CL: *irritated* Well fine then, I'll have to go back and get another kind.
She pays, puts her basket out of the way, and goes back to the dairy section to get her precious cheese.
She comes back up a few minutes later, while I'm in the middle of checking a young couple.
CL: That cheese is on sale, it said on the sign.
Me: Well, if the manager said it's not, I can't do anything about it.
CL: But it is on sale.
Me: The manager said it's not.
CL: Well, she's wrong!
Me: You'll either have to go talk to her or get another kind of cheese, I'm sorry.
CL stalks over to where I've put the cheese out of the way, grabs it, and goes through another register with it. I don't know if the other cashier let it through because she didn't know, or if it was a different kind of cheese, all I know is she left without another word to me.
I mentioned this to A, who made sure I hadn't sold it to her, and told me I'd done the right thing refusing her.
Ugh.
Me: Hi, how are you?
SC: I wanted a raincheck for *item* and *item*, there's none back there.
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do rainchecks here, you'll have to go to the service counter.
SC: Well, why not?
Me: The management doesn't allow cashiers to write rainchecks, only the service counter is able to do that.
SC: You should really write rainchecks at the register. I have all these groceries that I can't leave here, but I need *some stupid expensive "health-food" product*. It's bad for business that you don't write rainchecks.
Me: (Do you really think I'm doing this to spite you? If I could I would just to shut you up.) I'm sorry, that's the rule.
I really hate when people ignore your greeting and just treat you like a robot.
I also hate this:
Me: Would you like paper or plastic?
SC: Paper, if you have it/if you don't mind.
1. Would I offer it if I didn't have it? Seriously. Think.
2. I'm not allowed to mind.
The Crazy Cowboy Hat Guy epic
So, Crazy Cowboy Hat Guy. Where to begin. Well, ever since I've worked at this store (about fourteen months, give or take a week) we've had this guy come in almost every day. He's about sixty, going quite senile, and always wears a cowboy hat. (Also the same red shirt. Always. Sometimes a leather jacket.) One of the supervisors said that he was in a car accident and received brain damage, which is why he is the way he is (obnoxious). He doesn't have a driver's licence but lives two miles away, so most of the time he walks. (Consequently, more often that not he stinks.) He'll bring in his little cart, walk slowly around the store three or four times, then get in line, talk to everyone in line (I do mean EVERYone), and just generally be super annoying. All the cashiers hate him and try their best to avoid him.
He almost entered Coworker K's line today. She fobbed him off on me with some excuse about the customer she was helping's card wasn't reading and she needed authorisation (bullshit).
CCHG: Hello.
Me: (i was busy and didn't hear him.)
CCHG: HELLO?!
Me: Oh, sorry. Hi, how are you today?
CCHG: *ignores me and unloads his basket*
Transaction is fairly uneventful. He talks to the woman in line behind him. I give her a sympathetic look. He wants to write a check. OK, this is new. He's always paid cash before. He takes bloody FOR-EVER to write the thing, narrating each letter as he goes. The woman behind him is now giving me sympathetic looks.
CCHG: What's the total again? $48.26? How bout I just write it for an even fifty?
Me: I'm sorry, I can't do that without a check cashing card.
CCHG: But they're not giving those out anymore (true, for reasons not understood by anyone in the store)
Me: I know, I can't do cash back though.
CCHG: Well, fine. *takes longer*
The woman behind him is visibly impatient. He ignores her. He finally hands me the check, complaining about how he can't get a check cashing card, and I write his state ID number across the top. Wait. There's no name printed on this. No address, nothing. Check Number 101. I excuse myself and head to the service counter to ask Manager A directly about this.
A: What's this? Why is there no name?
Me: It's from Cowboy Hat Guy.
A: *sigh* Come on.
We head back.
A: What's this you're giving me?
CCHG: A check.
A: But it has no name, I can't take this.
CCHG: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!
Everyone in the store: O_O
CCHG: FIRST YOU TELL ME I CAN'T HAVE A CHECK CARD, NOW YOU WON'T TAKE MY CHECK! I'M LEAVING!!
*silence*
CCHG starts walking out the door, with his $50 of groceries still in his cart. A starts voiding the transaction and tells me not to let him out the door. I refuse, as I was unsure of just how unstable he was. She goes after him instead, retrieves the groceries, tells him not to come back, and comes back to void his order.
One of the baggers says how he got caught stealing at another store in town and had a similar blowup. Glad he's gone.
thank god i have tomorrow off.
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