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But I'm Bribing You!

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  • But I'm Bribing You!

    Too bad effective bribery takes TWO

    -Hey! That’s my car!
    -Yes Sir, you do not have a permit for this lot, it will be $60 to drop the vehicle now, or $105 if it’s towed
    -Okay, I’ll give you $20
    -It’s $60, cash, credit or debit, no checks
    -I said I’d give you $20
    -It’s $60 sir, that is your only option
    -Did you hear me? I said I’d give you $20!
    -It’s $60
    -Aw c’mon! Okay, fine, I’ll give you $50, that’s all I have on me
    -You need to pay $60 in full Sir, I can’t take it any other way.
    -You can’t just take the $50 and go? They don’t even know you’re here!
    -Yes they do, firstly, the person who called this in to me knows I’m here, secondly, I called in to my dispatcher that I was here and loading. The car is in our custody now in accordance with borough towing ordinances, you owe $60. I can’t make it any simpler.
    -But, you don’t have to tell them you towed me! They won’t know!
    *I’ve had enough of this, I grab the radio and clearly key it up*
    -Argabarga to base, on scene checking/loading at 100 Bribery Way, black Honda Civic, PA license Golf Golf Zulu Seven One One Six, might be getting a drop, customer is discussing payment with me.
    *turning to moron*
    -They know now
    -That was a dick thing to do!

    As opposed to bribery? Okay, whatever

    He had to get his girlfriend to come out and pay for it with her credit card, she wasn’t thrilled
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Quoth Argabarga View Post
    *I’ve had enough of this, I grab the radio and clearly key it up*
    -Argabarga to base, on scene checking/loading at 100 Bribery Way, black Honda Civic, PA license Golf Golf Zulu Seven One One Six, might be getting a drop, customer is discussing payment with me.
    *turning to moron*
    -They know now
    -That was a dick thing to do!
    Awesome pwnage.
    A fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F.....

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    • #3
      -Okay, I’ll give you $20
      -You mean $20 for me on TOP of the $60 for the company? If you insist. That'll be $80.

      Supporting the idiots charged with protecting your personal information.

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      • #4
        Quoth otakuneko View Post
        -Okay, I’ll give you $20
        -You mean $20 for me on TOP of the $60 for the company? If you insist. That'll be $80.

        Ooh, didn't think of that, I'll have to remember that next time
        - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Sounds like Khiras and the idiots who bribed him to look the other way when they bought in beer.

          Still. Awesome pwnage.

          otakuneko, that idea is brilliant.
          The best professors are mad scientists! -Zoom

          Now queen of USSR-Land...

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          • #6
            Oh, geez. Why can't I get anyone bribing me at work?
            A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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            • #7
              Yeah you know no one ever offers to bribe me to get a tech out sooner

              Edit

              Course all of our calls being recorded might have something to do with it.

              Comment


              • #8
                I had guests at my hotel try to pull that. They wanted to pay well below the cost of the rooms. They'd always say "We'll pay in cash. No one needs to know we're here."

                Except myself, the security camera, the housekeeping staff I will need to send in, the night shift worker who will need to know you are in the hotel, the morning shift staff, etc.

                Also calling your dispatcher was epic way to go!
                Hinakiba777- Student of Divinity-Always trying to get laid.

                Annoying student=I pay tuition here so I pay your salary!
                Desk Worker=I pay tuition here, too. So I guess I pay myself.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Quoth Argabarga View Post
                  -They know now
                  -That was a dick thing to do!


                  Damn Argabarga, all your stories are a great read but this one has to come out near the top. That's just full of win.

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                  • #10
                    I had a guy make that offer for a tax prep. About half the normal rate, but all cash. I sent him packing as he was an obvious scammer.
                    I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                    Who is John Galt?
                    -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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