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One of the dumbest defendants

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  • One of the dumbest defendants

    Our court system in my county does not have a public defenders office. Individual attorneys in private practice are brought in to fulfill the duty. It saves the county a ton as these attorneys are paid almost nothing per defendant and the county does not have to pay benefits or overhead for an office.

    Defendants still under arrest are brought into the courtroom in their stylish orange jump suits and are seated in the jury box. When the attorney finds out which defendant he or she has been assigned to, the attorney will read the prosecutor file, then go over to the defendant and explain what is happening, what the defendant has been charged with, what the attorney’s opinion of the case is and what the plea bargain offer is. Usually, these guys charged with misdemeanors are given time served.

    Once, I witnessed one of the attorneys go over to a defendant who already had shown he was an attitude problem. Before the attorney had finished explaining everything, the defendant yelled out, “Man, you an idiot. I tol’ you the bitch ain’t pressing no charges.”

    The attorney calmly stepped back, and I heard him explain to the defendant that the idiot had chosen the parking lot of a convenience store to smack his girlfriend around, and that two police officers were parked in the parking lot and witnessed the whole thing. Whether or not she wanted to press charges no longer mattered as the police themselves would be witnesses. In this state, the victim usually cannot get a domestic violence charge dropped as there is a strong public policy against it. The attorney then repeated that the defendant was being offered time served, so he would be out within a day or so if he plead guilty.

    The guy started screaming how stupid the attorney was for not getting the whole thing dismissed. It was then that he added that there was a warrant out for him from California for attempted murder that they were not going to stick him with either. The attorney excused himself and walked over to the now wide-eyed prosecutor who had heard the outburst. They talked for a short while, then the prosecutor went back to an office.

    She came back a few minutes later and spoke to someone from the sheriff’s office, then filled out some paperwork. The attorney handed the paperwork to the judge who asked if the prosecutor was sure that she wanted to do what the paperwork stated. She confirmed that she wanted to do it, and explained exactly why. The warrant now was for murder - and our state had not been aware of it until the defendant mentioned it.

    The judge, who also had heard the defendant yelling at his attorney, said “Very well, then” and dismissed the case so that the defendant could be taken to California the next day. He then smiled at the defendant and said, “And I hope you fry.”

    The defendant began screaming at the attorney that the judge couldn’t talk to him that way and that he wanted the attorney to do something about it. The attorney just smiled and said that he had done his job to get the case dismissed like the defendant had demanded, and now no longer represented him.

    We could hear the defendant still fussing and yelling in the holding cell after he was taken out of the courtroom.
    Last edited by South Texan; 11-13-2009, 02:01 AM.
    "Ignorance is no excuse for a law."
    .................................................. ..................- Alfred E. Newman

  • #2
    Awesome.. some idiot got what they truly deserved!
    "No, I will not poop a shopping cart out for you." - Irving Patrick Freleigh

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    • #3
      Oooooh . . . BUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRNNNNNN.

      I love it when someone gets their ass handed back to them.
      Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

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      • #4
        The defendant began screaming at the attorney that the judge couldn’t talk to him that way
        Not that I know much about law, but if there is one person in the world were the person is the law, that would be a judge.

        Man, that idiot. Well, thank God he's an idiot. I wonder if the gf knew he was wanted for murder.

        Oh, I was reading Shark Tales True (and amazing) stories from America's lawyers. I'm not surprised by the level of stupidity.
        Last edited by depechemodefan; 11-13-2009, 02:43 AM.
        Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

        Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

        I wish porn had subtitles.

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        • #5
          I hope and pray that idiot never reproduced. The gene pool is polluted enough without his idiocy present.

          Justice may be blind, but it certainly isn't deaf. Never yell about your past offenses in earshot of the judge!!!
          I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
          My LiveJournal
          A page we can all agree with!

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          • #6
            Major pwnage .... karma is a bitch
            EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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            • #7
              He must be some contortionist. It takes a lot of skill to screw yourself with both feet in your mouth and both thumbs up your ass.
              "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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              • #8
                Quoth depechemodefan View Post
                if there is one person in the world were the person is the law, that would be Judge Dredd.
                Fixed it for you.
                "I can tell her you're all tied up in the projection room." Sunset Boulevard.

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                • #9
                  Lesson to be learned: You have a right to remain silent...STAND ON IT!!
                  I'm trying to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my keister!

                  Who is John Galt?
                  -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged

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                  • #10
                    Quoth Sheldonrs View Post
                    He must be some contortionist. It takes a lot of skill to screw yourself with both feet in your mouth and both thumbs up your ass.
                    Can I borrow that line? It made me cackle like a hyena and scare the cats.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth taxguykarl View Post
                      Lesson to be learned: You have a right to remain silent...STAND ON IT!!
                      I have a couple family members who work in Police departments, and they both tell me that allot of times the "right to remain silent" isn't only a right, but also a suggestion.
                      Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Moggie View Post
                        Can I borrow that line? It made me cackle like a hyena and scare the cats.
                        Be my guest.
                        "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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                        • #13
                          Quoth calulu View Post
                          Awesome.. some idiot got what they truly deserved!
                          The best part is that it's also what he requested. Justice doesn't get any more poetic than that.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth drunkenwildmage View Post
                            I have a couple family members who work in Police departments, and they both tell me that allot of times the "right to remain silent" isn't only a right, but also a suggestion.
                            There's a former officer that does lectures at colleges and he says, "Never talk to police." He says it doesn't matter if you're completely innocent, what you say can, and will, be used against you.

                            ^-.-^
                            Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                            • #15
                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc

                              Your looking for this gentleman. Just remember this only works in the USA. Other countries have other rules, for instance I’m pretty sure in England if you’re a defendant and don’t tell the police something in regards to your defense you cant use it at trial. Sort of screwed up.


                              As for this defendant, he got what he deserved. Karma will eventually get you one way or the other.


                              Fixed the link, sorry about that, misseda letter at the end.
                              Last edited by KitterCat; 11-13-2009, 08:09 PM.

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