Blaze Of Glory ( Epic )

[Becks]

But there’s always one ticket that was hand scribed by an old blind nun that only speaks in tongues living in a remote monastery in the foot hills of Italy before being shipped to Ireland nestled in the lap of a new born golden calf where it was painstakingly woven into the fabric of a pair of tiny underwear which is left out in a fairy ring in the high lands beneath a single gold coin to lure a Leprechaun into wearing them for a fortnight. Once it’s had a few moons to really absorb the aroma of luck, its deposited along the moors where a young lad with a lightning bolt shared scar on his forehead hunts it down with a dousing rod. Than, and only than, is it shipped to us upon a bed of velvet sealed within a iron box forged from the horseshoe’s of King Arthur’s steed.

I *will* find a way to use this one at work.

[crazylegs]

Apparently the correct answer to “Can I see your fare please?” is not “*(&@ YOU PIGS”.

Generally any use of the word 'pig' or its derivatives while the police are interacting with you will generate a touch more interest with your activities.

Jus' so ya'll know.

[EricKei]

Oh wow. You know when Gravekeeper marks a post as "Epic", it's gonna be something special.

You do not disappoint, Sir. Enjoy your well-deserved vacation. Might I suggest that you hit Nunavut with a flamethrower and a cluebat, find out where as many of your customers work as possible, and Do Unto Others as They Have Done Unto You...?

[Andara Bledin]

Drifting into oncoming traffic or hurdling off the road to a fiery death is perfectly fine. But not being able to order a lottery ticket? Now that’s a problem.

You have to admit, however, that his managing that middle option might be a boon to us all?

Nothing you could have possibly done at Walmart would interest me in the slightest unless it managed to single handled raise the US’s terrorist alert level.

I don't think it's possible for an individual within a WalMart to raise the US' alert level. It might be possible for WalMart itself to do so, but not it's shoppers.

No, no you’re not. You seem to have a natural gift for it. I doubt it’s taking you any effort at all.

A scene from Mannequin comes to mind...
"Where did you learn to kiss ass like that!? What did you do? Take a class?!"
"No, sir, no, it's a God-given gift." <-- said very proudly

Hahahahah. Ahhh. Thank you my primitive friend. Your belief that Sherlock Holmes was not only real, but adorned himself in 100% cashmere, a look you wish to emulate, has given me amusement I sorely needed.

Was this person at least calling on a line where one might actually order items of clothing?

SC: "Yeah I called yesterday bout exchangin' this jacket. It doesn't fit!"

So, he thinks the clothing company is supposed to pay to fix a mistake he made because he doesn't know what the hell size he is? Bwahahaha! Loser.

Much crying ensues. I am the devil, I know.

Sweet...

I see that you're laughing at us...

Let him laugh.

Hell, I laugh at us...

^-.-^

[Broomjockey]

I don't think it's possible for an individual within a WalMart to raise the US' alert level. It might be possible for WalMart itself to do so, but not it's shoppers.

You've a rather limited imagination then, I suggest. Especially a Super Wal-Mart.

[Kara]

SC: “So my question to YOU is, is someone on their way here?”

No, no, no. Someone is on Second Base. Who's on his way there.

Rest well. We all need to recharge our dark energies now and then.

[Jester]

Might I suggest that you hit Nunavut, find out where as many of your customers work as possible, and Do Unto Others as They Have Done Unto You...?

That is assuming that his customers have jobs that are in the customer service industry. That might be a bit of a stretch. Actually, a lot of that would be a stretch. Not only the idea of there actually being a customer service industry in that region, but the very idea of his customers having jobs!

I don't think it's possible for an individual within a WalMart to raise the US' alert level. It might be possible for WalMart itself to do so, but not it's shoppers.

Actually, there is quite a lot one could do in a Wal-Mart, or any other retail location, that would in fact raise the U.S. terrorist alert level. You are just not being very imaginative, my friend.

No, no, no. Someone is on Second Base. Who's on his way there.

No. Who's on First. What's on Second.

There never was a "Someone" in that routine. They name eight of the nine fielders (they never name the right fielder), and "Someone" is not on the roster. Perhaps he's on the other team?

[Broomjockey]

They name eight of the nine fielders (they never name the right fielder),

Really? Who's in center field?

[Kara]

Yeah, I know. It was just... you know... with the classic routine... and the wordplay... and the comedy... what with the sarcasm... and... the whole... never mind.

[Jay 2K Winger]

No. Who's on First. What's on Second.

There never was a "Someone" in that routine. They name eight of the nine fielders (they never name the right fielder), and "Someone" is not on the roster. Perhaps he's on the other team?

If I'm remembering the routine correctly, Lou was about to start playing on that team, so he would have been the Right Fielder.

[Jester]

Really? Who's in center field?

No. Who's on first.

If I'm remembering the routine correctly, Lou was about to start playing on that team, so he would have been the Right Fielder.

Actually, in the routine they never mention what position, if any, that Lou is going to play. They do say that Bud is going with him to coach with the Yankees as long as Lou is there, but they never specify Lou's position.

Truth be told, it could've been any of the positions mentioned, as most teams even then had more than one player who could play each position. Just because Lou was going to be on the team does not mean he would be starting. So right field, maybe, but not definitively.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Actually, in the routine they never mention what position, if any, that Lou is going to play. They do say that Bud is going with him to coach with the Yankees as long as Lou is there, but they never specify Lou's position.

Truth be told, it could've been any of the positions mentioned, as most teams even then had more than one player who could play each position. Just because Lou was going to be on the team does not mean he would be starting. So right field, maybe, but not definitively.

Good point. Plus, considering Lou's competency with ANYTHING, the idea that he would be in the starting line-up is pretty laughable.

[Jester]

Considering his athletic, er, um, "form," I have trouble seeing him playing at all, let alone starting. John Belushi he wasn't.


For the record, I am intimately familiar with this routine, not only as a fan, but because many moons ago, I performed it with my late father (before he was late, of course) for a talent show with my Cub Scout troop. Yes, I was a Cub Scout dropout.

[Imogene]

Considering his athletic, er, um, "form," I have trouble seeing him playing at all, let alone starting.

No, but he did look a lot like Babe Ruth... so, make of that what you will.

[Jester]

He looked nothing like George. One was large and athletic, with some extra poundage, while one was simply roly-poly. Being large or even roundish does not preclude one's athletic ability, as #3 and many others have shown time and again over the years. Notice my reference to John Belushi, a rounder guy notoriously light on his feet and very athletic. But Lou Costello was not cut from the same cloth. He was not the Babe, he was not Belushi, he was not even Jackie Gleason.