More Then I Ever Wanted To Know

[Jester]

Arghhh....why I returned I have no idea, but I did.

If only Patton had had your confidence and positive attitude!

SC: “Butt Bait & Tackle”

Why would you do that? My God. I assume it’s named after the owner ( at least I hope it is ), but even so….if your name was Butt why would you name a company after yourself? Especially Butt Bait & Tackle.

Besides the fact that the people in this industry tend to be laidback and not the type to take themselves too seriously, the obvious answer is "It's memorable." Much like a bait and tackle shop I once saw named "Master Baiters."

Think about it.

Scary how right I am, isn't it?

Are you that desperate for someone to come over, lift up your things and deliver them to a different location? Your fixation seems just a little unhealthy, honestly.

Perhaps. But then again, maybe they live in a place that is so horrible that they just have to get out NOW.

Like, say, Newark. Or Cleveland. Or Homestead, Florida.

Or heaven help them, Globe, Arizona. If you've ever been to Globe, you'd understand. Half the time I was there, I was passed out. By all accounts, that's the best way to spend your time in Globe.

Oh, hello again. Still desperate for a mover?

Perhaps you should ask them to remind you when to take your medication...

Definitely Globe.

Perhaps you should wait until after you’ve completely hung up the phone before you start sarcastically mocking me to a coworker for daring to have the gall to do my job properly. It would greatly reduce the chances of your desperate call for tech support being "accidentally" erased from the work queue.

Bravo, sir! Bravo indeed! Now, if only I could find a way to "lose" some of my idiot customers' drinks.....

SC: “Oh, ok, so, I have a yeast infection-”

OK STOP TALKING.

BY ALL MEANS CONTINUE. IGNORE THE SOUND OF MY WHIMPERING AND RESUME ELABORATING ON BAKING INGREDIENTS IN YOUR VAGINA.

For GK only....and any other brave soul (but remember, you've been warned):

GK, you know the best part about fucking a girl with a yeast infection? You'll both get a rise out of it!

It's one thing when they're a complete jerk to you on the phone, then you pretty much expect those kinds of comments. But when they're nice... I just don't get it.

This is exactly the same type of person that will rip a server a new one for the most minor of transgressions, and then when the manager comes over....are nothing but polite glowing sweetness.

Luckily for us, a good deal of restaurant managers have been servers, so are wise to this bullshit.

Always confused the hell out of me; how on earth can people be so selectively paranoid?
I then read over this site again and eeeeverything makes sense...

Good....someone I don't have to remind!

[XCashier]

Me: “And your first name please?”
C: “Rainbow.”

Cute name for a pony. For a people, not so much. For their sake, I hope it was a girl.

I just got this mental image of some 6'7", 350 lb, burly, bearded guy with a basso profundo voice saying, "My name is Rainbow. Youse gotta problem with that?"

Welcome back, Gravekeeper. You keep posting, we'll help you maintain what's left of your sanity.

[AriRashkae]

I'm not certain if 'dill witted' is a typo or another trademark GK cutting remark, but I really like it.

The pickles might be smarter.

Hmm, sheds new light on the term 'a bun in the oven,' no?

For some reason that makes me want to bake a cake. Or cookies...

Damn you! Now I do too!

Besides the fact that the people in this industry tend to be laidback and not the type to take themselves too seriously, the obvious answer is "It's memorable." Much like a bait and tackle shop I once saw named "Master Baiters."

Think about it.

Scary how right I am, isn't it?

Ah, but the servant waits!

[Gravekeeper]

Scary how right I am, isn't it?

Touche.

For GK only....and any other brave soul (but remember, you've been warned):

Gah! Note to self: Save bravery until after I finish eating breakfast. >.>


And yes, dill witted was a typo. But its growing on me now. ;p

[Andara Bledin]

From what I can tell, this ritual is performed by dialing our number and then pitching your cell phone into a pillow case full of candy wrappers, tin foil and broken glass.

Accidental dialing. They're somehow hitting the re-dial button on the phone, and so it calls out, and you hang up, and then it hangs up, only to have the redial button pressed again, at which point the whole thing starts over.

I do know you. You’re one of the lunatics that keeps calling <Hot Tips>. I knew you sounded familiar.

Oh, no, this one now has 2 different numbers they can call to pitch their crazy at you? You poor thing.

... er, poorer thing....

SC: “Oh, ok, so, I have a yeast infection-”

I know you don't ever want to have any opportunity to dispense any advice, but perhaps suggest that they take a trip to a local all-night pharmacy for some over-the-counter relief until regular office hours.

Still I have my doubts as to the quality and skill level of rumpy bumpy one can purchase for a handful of loose change. I imagine its at least a $50 minimum just to get out of the Herpes Zone.

Some beggars make more in an afternoon than I make in a week... >.>

That's why I only give out food/drink or coupons for the same.

What woman DOESN'T know about Monistat?

Even I know about it, and I've never had a need or desire to use it. Although I do possess the appropriate equipment.

I work for a health insurance company.

I don't call for any health-related thing without having my card already out and in my hand.

For GK only....and any other brave soul (but remember, you've been warned):

Jester, that was so delightfully wrong.

Gah! Note to self: Save bravery until after I finish eating breakfast. >.>

Well, he did warn you. Twice.

^-.-^

[cinema guy]

the obvious answer is "It's memorable." Much like a bait and tackle shop I once saw named "Master Baiters."

There's a canine grooming parlour near me called 'The Doggie Stylist'.

[Flying Grype]

C: “Yeah, it’s Maggie with Butt Bait & Tackle”
Me: “With...what...sorry?
SC: “Butt Bait & Tackle”
Me: “.....How is that spelled?”
C: “B-u-t-t”

*gigglesnort* I'm not sure which is funnier, butt bait or butt tackle.

It probably is named after the owner. There's a reality show on up here in Canada right now where one of the contestants has the last name of Butt. I don't know his ethnicity. He's from the prairies and looks pretty white, maybe with a bit of First Nations in there somewhere.

Also, one of my favourite takeout restaurants is run by a Pakistani guy named Mr. Butt.

[Gravekeeper]

Accidental dialing. They're somehow hitting the re-dial button on the phone, and so it calls out, and you hang up, and then it hangs up, only to have the redial button pressed again, at which point the whole thing starts over.

Yeah, I know. We get them all the time at work. Drive me crazy. I don't mind once but you often get it 4 or 5 times in a row.

There's a reality show on up here in Canada right now where one of the contestants has the last name of Butt.

Butt Bait & Tackle was calling from one of the southern states. So you have to picture it with the accent on top of the name. >.>

[Megg]

But then again, maybe they live in a place that is so horrible that they just have to get out NOW.

Duh, Nunavut obviously!

Butt Bait & Tackle was calling from one of the southern states.

Having grown up in Texas, that would be the state I would guess.

[BusBus]

My Duties Resume

I have returned. Ahhh…..the nostalgia overwhelms me. The stench of stale cigarette smoke mixed with the faintest whiff of human urine and just a touch of Axe body spray. The broken heater gleefully blowing freezing cold air directly up my ass from below. It has been a while, public transit. I’d almost forgotten the sights, sounds and smells one experiences within your forsaken confines. I had managed to avoid having to use you for near two weeks. But alas this reprieve came to an end.

Ah yes, the joys of returning to the warm bosom of Translink. I walk to and from work every day, regardless of the weather, to avoid this. My immune system thanks me.

As much as I hate to interrupt your spittle driven tirade about a broken lock on a back door or some such silliness. An issue which was already documented and passed along to your building manager an hour ago when you first called. I must level a single counter point to your argument: Berating me for several minutes as if this is personally my fault and then reassuring me that it is not my fault and you understand it is not my fault does not justify the initial verbal beating. Especially not when you immediately resume berating me after reassuring me you understand it is not my fault. All this tells me is that you a small, petty individual whose genitalia are inadequately sized for pleasuring anything beyond a stale handful of Honey Nut Cheerios. A fact which drives you forward with little regard for who you lash out at as long as you get to yell at someone. Regardless of whether or not they actually have anything to do with the situation.

I do this because I love you!

Or better yet perhaps you could channel this seething energy into something constructive?

Like fixing the damn lock yourself?

My True Nature

So perhaps you should rethink these futile magiks of yours, for they are no match for the power that I wield.

Maybe his attempts of "winning it big" did not come to fruition after specifically requesting that you give him the "winning ticket" in the past (you bastard), so he opted to take his luck into his own hands?

.......

C: “Yeah, it’s Maggie with Butt Bait & Tackle”

I tried googling this to find it....the first link that came up was this thread.
Thankfully, I had the SafeSearch on.

THAT HASN’T STOPPED YOU SO FAR. BY ALL MEANS CONTINUE. IGNORE THE SOUND OF MY WHIMPERING AND RESUME ELABORATING ON BAKING INGREDIENTS IN YOUR VAGINA.

That will get me through the rest of my day.

Ah, Its Good To Be Down Town Again

Still I have my doubts as to the quality and skill level of rumpy bumpy one can purchase for a handful of loose change. I imagine its at least a $50 minimum just to get out of the Herpes Zone.

If Buddy is hanging out by Granville on a Saturday night, he can probably use all of the change towards beer and get his other "fix" for free.

It's called Monistat, lady, and you can pick it up at your local 24-hr Walgreens. Sheesh. What woman DOESN'T know about Monistat?

Sorry for your pain, GK.

We don't get Walgreens in this neck of the woods. I think the closest equivalent would be a Shoppers Drug Mart? Granted, the few 24 hours ones that are out there do not have a pharmacist on hand, so some of the fun stuff is locked away....possibly including the Monistat (can't say for sure, never have gone on a 3am Monistat run before).

For GK only....and any other brave soul (but remember, you've been warned):

This is exactly the same type of person that will rip a server a new one for the most minor of transgressions, and then when the manager comes over....are nothing but polite glowing sweetness.

God, I get the same thing at my office. You tell the client something that they don't like, they yell and argue with you, they demand to speak to the supervisor, the supervisor tells them the exact same thing and they nod and agree and thank them for their time Thanks for wasting my time.....

I just got this mental image of some 6'7", 350 lb, burly, bearded guy with a basso profundo voice saying, "My name is Rainbow. Youse gotta problem with that?"

Awesome.

[Gravekeeper]

I tried googling this to find it....the first link that came up was this thread.
Thankfully, I had the SafeSearch on.

Yar, I have to alter everything a bit to protect clientele remember. Especially difficult when the client is the joke though.

[BusBus]

Yar, I have to alter everything a bit to protect clientele remember. Especially difficult when the client is the joke though.

Naturally! Everything I see at my job is protected by a dozen privacy laws, so I understand (which also makes it reaaallllllllyyyyy difficult when you see something awesome/hilarious and you can't say a thing).

[Gravekeeper]

Naturally! Everything I see at my job is protected by a dozen privacy laws, so I understand (which also makes it reaaallllllllyyyyy difficult when you see something awesome/hilarious and you can't say a thing).

Yar, I have to edit the living heck out of my stuff before I can post it. I have layers of NDA on me. >.>

[Jester]

Jester, that was so delightfully wrong.

My work here is done.

[Furthea]

Whoa, man
Me: “And your first name please?”
C: “Rainbow.”
Parents planted the family tree in a poppy field, did they?

That's odd, but then again my Mother works with a guy named Friend and one of our friendly regulars where I work is named Guy.