Throwing Names: A CS Classic

[joe hx]

So this guy walks up outside the front door. Since this is the middle of the night, the front door is locked, and people have to call us if they want to order pick-up (which is actually "delivery" to their car or just outside). It might be important to note SC was drunk. Then again it might not, I don't know.

Note: "Ed" is the owner of the store (we have about five stores).

Me: Thank you for calling, can I help you?
SC: Yes, I talked to Ed and he said you guys could just give me a pizza.
Me: You talked to Ed?
SC: Yeah. He said I could have a pizza.
Me: Did you call in earlier and talk to Ed the manager?
SC: Yeah.
Me: That's strange. Ed hasn't been here all night. One moment.

I put him on hold and talk to the manager. I know the only person "Ed" would give a free pizza to is himself, or his partner (business partner, not sexual partner, though now I think of it he probably would for a sexual partner too...)

The manager talks with SC and just tells him to call "Ed" and have "Ed" call us. I don't know what else was said, but this infuriated SC.

Manager hangs up. Five minutes later SC calls again, and I answer:

Me: Thank you for calling, can I help you?
SC: Yeah, I'm just trying to get my pizza. If you don't give it to me, I'm calling the health department!!
Me: Are you threatening us?
SC: Uh, uh, no...
**second line begins to ring**
Me: Y'know, I'm going to talk to a real customer now.
**hangs up and answers next line**

SC walks away and I never heard from him again... This was about two weeks ago.

[SarcasticJerk]

I like name droppers. They tend to amuse me to no end.

(Taking an order on the phone)
SC: Is V there?
Me: Nah, she's not here today.
SC: She always gives me a discount.
(I'd already seen the customer comments said VIP - which means PITA)
Me: Oh, does she?
SC: Yeah, we're really good friends.
Me: Oh! How's she doing?
SC: Uh, fine.
Me: That's good. When's she getting out?
SC: Out?
Me: Of the hospital.
SC: She's in the hospital?
Me: Yeah, she's been in the hospital for a few weeks now. Ever since she nearly died from that heart attack and they did a bypass. Wow, I'm surprised she never told you, being that you're such good friends...

And let's not forget the ones who will get you fired
(Customer not getting whatever it was he wanted)
SC: I'm a friend of Bob.
Me: Bob?
SC: Bob Smith
Me: Well good for you! (In that tone you use for a little kid who went potty all by himself.)
SC: What's your name?
Me: SJ
SC: I'm going to talk to Bob about you!
ME: Yeah, you do that.
SC: I'll have your job!
Me: I doubt that. Hey, tell Bob to kiss my ass while you're at it.
SC: F* you, I'm calling him! You're gonna get canned!
Me: Yeah, you said that already.
SC: Do you know who Bob Smith is?
Me: Yep.
SC: You do know he OWNS your store!
Me: I know he USED to own this store. Like seven years ago. But he sold all of the franchises he owned so he could go into another business. But, hey, you go ahead and make that call to Bob. He'll probably get a good chuckle out of it.

[Argabarga]

One of our drivers who was fired 3 years ago for doing drugs on the job has a LOT of fellow druggie pals in this town.

SOme have managed to go the 3 years since his departure being blissfully unaware he doesn't work for us anymore.

I still get occasional calls at 3 am for people wanting a fix, needing picked up and dropped off (apparently he was using the truck as a free-cab-service for his buds) or picked up from a place before the cops show up

I tell them they're out of luck, unless they need a car towed, I'm not going anywhere.

Then they say to "get Jerry, he does/did it all the time, it's okay"

"Jerry doesn't work here anymore"

The silence on the other end is always classic.


At least a couple of times, the cars we towed in for illegal parking were Jerry's pals, and they'd demand we release them for free because if not, "Jerry the manager will fire you!" Uh huh, you mean Jerry the unemployed ex-manager druggie? Doubt it.

[Android Kaeli]

I always tell people co-workers will be in at some point but don't give out exactly when -- I really don't want to get in trouble for it if it's someone that said co-workers really don't want to see. Eventually SC will get the hint that no, *I'm* not budging.

Although I did have one caller ask me for a lot of personal information about a former manager, whom hadn't worked for the store in a good two years. Didn't seem to understand why I wouldn't ask the current SM or ASM to give out the personal information, if they were such good buddies why didn't this caller just ask the former manager himself?