We are NOT Baby Sitters!

[Lady J'ssem]

So, this is my first time posting (after lurking a while,) so hi! Sorry about these, just have had this on my plate all day, will probably be long >.>''...

Before my current job, I used to work at a home decor shop. You know the type, lots of pretty, breakable stuff that's nice to look at but mostly useless? Enter the "Mother of the Year"...

One day, a woman and her friend brought a three year old into the HDS... They set him loose, and went about shopping and looking over everything, ignoring the kid. They might as well have set him in a mine field. The kid was tearing through out the store, picking up breakables, pulling on the displays and mirrors, playing in the fountains, etc., etc.... My managers were busy with shipment, and my coworkers could see me chasing this kid around, but didn't come to help. When I tried to talk to the mother about controlling her child, who was definitely asking to get hurt, (and I could just see her sueing us for it), she told me that I should be watching her son better then! In the end, I ended up getting a toy (yes we sold toys, but they were less toys then novelty items) and distracting the kid with it while the mum and friend finished shopping (they didn't buy anything by the way). After they left, I let my (super)manager know what happened.... she asked me why I didn't come get her... I explained why, and she apologized for it happening, and told me next time to come get her anyway, "You're not here to babysit!"

And now, I work at a library. We're not the most child friendly one, we have events for the kiddos and such, but really we seem to focus on upper ages, not little ones. But because we are a library, we have parents bringing their kids all of the time, which is reasonable... what's not reasonable is leaving the kid in one of the Juv. rooms, while going to go find a book for your-self... or worse get on the computers!

A month ago, I was working in the Juv. non section at work, (I am a lowly page, I just put up books and find them ), and a lady and her sister came in with their kids, and say down at the computers in there. I didn't think anything of it, I just continoued doing what I was doing... until a little girl, I think she said she was four, came and asked me to read her a story. First warning bell! I told her I'm afraid I couldn't do that, since I was working... so I continoued to work... with a cute little shadow >.>. And not only did she follow me... she would go through and pull out "pretty" books... including the ones I just put up. Second warning bell! Sooo I'd have to ask for the "pretty" books and put them up... and she'd pull out even more! And where was the mom during this? Still sitting on the computer... I went to go ask her to please watch the little girl... and the kid went and knocked off most a shelf... I cleaned that up.. and went to get one of the librarians... dooown went another shelf... By this time I was about ready to just read her a story, easier then having to continoue cleaning up after her! I have a psp that I listen to while working, so I let her listen with me.... Now add older brother who clearly wanted attention too.... Welcome to warning bell number three! I had to let both kids listen to my music while I worked on cleaning up more of the litte girl's mess... It was only now that mom decides its time to go, specially since the little girl needed to go to the bathroom... While she took the girl to the bathroom, the aunt told me "This must happen all the time." I looked at her, while helping the little boy take care of another mess, and told her, "Yeah... but I don't get paid for it...." Course she didn't hear me, she was playing on the computer again....

Oh... and a shorter version of this happened the next week... same mom, same little girl.. different person to say the same thing.

Ya'll have any "baby-sitting" stories?

[Bright_Star]

You know, people will get away with as much as they can if people don't speak up. You should have said something. & IF the mother got mad, too bad...lol.

[Dips]

NOTHING ticks me off more than SC parents who take their children's lives and safety for granted. Grrrrr!

Sadly his is something that will continue happening unless you act. You don't have to be confrontational. A little diplomatically applied passive-aggression is fine.

Take the child by the hand and bring him up to mommy or daddy and tell mommy or daddy that your found their child pulling books off the shelf (or playing with the knives or wandering in the parking lot or whatever). You're implying that the parent lost track of their child by accident and you expect gratitude for finding him for them. Your probably won't get gratitude but act as if it's your due anyway.

Then turn around, leave and go back to doing your job. If the child tries to follow you, tell him he can't come with you and has to stay with with his mommy/daddy. Mommy/daddy might say it's OK. Just tell them, "Actually he really does have to stay with you. We've been told by our supervisor that we aren't allowed to watch children for patrons. You can speak with [supervisor name] if you have any questions."

If the child comes back later do the same thing. Maybe make a light comment to mom/dad about how fast kids can get away from their parents if they take an eye off them for even a second.

Third time? Same thing. This time drop a hint by talking to the child. "Now you need to stay here with your mommy/daddy. OK? I know it's fun to run away but mommy/daddy will worry about you if you get lost or you get hurt."

Fourth time. Hopefully it doesn't come to a fourth time. But if it does, bring the kid to security/your supervisor or your manager and report it. You've been nice enough times. Now it's time for someone to be firm with the assholes.

Edit to add: If, at any point mommy or daddy gets nasty with you or tells you off for taking their child by the hand, forget playing nice. Just say you're going to get your supervisor, then let him/her handle it. Same thing if the child gets agitated and you don't feel comfortable taking him by the hand. Just tell mom/dad where he is, and that you are leaving the room now. Then get your supervisor to handle explaining to the parents that library staff are not responsible for unattended children.

[AyreBiskits]

i worked at a bookstore that used to hold pokemon meetings on saturdays. the parents would bring their pokebrats and leave them in our store. then the parents would disappear for hours while their brats, oops! their precious little snowflakes would tear up the store. most of the time, it was just the random display knocked over or the wrappings of pokemon cards left scattered all over the store. but it's hard to keep an eye on these brats when you've got a long line of customers waiting to buy their books and things.

the worst incident was when one pokebrat traded his prized collection with another brat. naturally, the parent of this pokebrat didn't think it was such a hot idea for his snowflake to trade off his entire collection for a couple of cards. and who do you think the parent yelled at? oh not his son he yelled at the bookstore employees for allowing his son to do such a stupid thing because we should have been keeping an eye on all the little heathens in the store. doesn't matter that the parent had dropped his son off at the store and took off for hours. doesn't matter that his son is maybe 8 or 10 and really doesn't understand the value of his collection. or that it was a saturday afternoon in a crowded store during the christmas shopping season. it also didn't help that the other brat was long gone by the time the parent came to retrieve his stupid brat and discovered what had happened. oh well.

[Victory Sabre]

i worked at a bookstore that used to hold pokemon meetings on saturdays. the parents would bring their pokebrats and leave them in our store. then the parents would disappear for hours while their brats, oops! their precious little snowflakes would tear up the store. most of the time, it was just the random display knocked over or the wrappings of pokemon cards left scattered all over the store. but it's hard to keep an eye on these brats when you've got a long line of customers waiting to buy their books and things.

the worst incident was when one pokebrat traded his prized collection with another brat. naturally, the parent of this pokebrat didn't think it was such a hot idea for his snowflake to trade off his entire collection for a couple of cards. and who do you think the parent yelled at? oh not his son he yelled at the bookstore employees for allowing his son to do such a stupid thing because we should have been keeping an eye on all the little heathens in the store. doesn't matter that the parent had dropped his son off at the store and took off for hours. doesn't matter that his son is maybe 8 or 10 and really doesn't understand the value of his collection. or that it was a saturday afternoon in a crowded store during the christmas shopping season. it also didn't help that the other brat was long gone by the time the parent came to retrieve his stupid brat and discovered what had happened. oh well.

If I were working in a situation like that, where the "parents" dropped kids off in a store and left, I'd call the police and have them pick up the kids and take them into protective custody, and wait for the "parents" to come back. Yeah, I'm evil that way.

[taxguykarl]

First of all welcome to CS.

In an earlier incarnation, this board had a section called Parents to be Proud Of which contained these kinds of stories. Sooner or later we all come up with a babysitting story.
Here's mine:
A lady (and I use the term loosely) and her two miniture hellions came to my tax office. The kids were not even seated when they started hitting and swearing at each other. Hitting is putting it mildly--they were punching each other like they meant it. As for the swearing, I've been to truck stops and have heard less f- and c-bombs than these little ruffians were spewing. The mom was oblivious to this and went through her stack of tax docs. Noticing that she forgot her 1098, she asked if she could leave her brats while she went home for that last document. I offered to start her return and save the file for when she returned. She balked at that and insisted on leaving her kids there. Two problems: 1) She lived about 20 minutes away and it was about a hour 'til closing--do the math and 2) she was leaving these maniacs behind. I made it clear that leaving those two was not an option and I would not hesitate to call the police and CPS if she left those little monsters. She left in a huff and took her kids. Sorry but we do not have the insurance coverage to deal with this nonsense--no doubt there would be a lawsuit if one of those brats ended up in the hospital.

If I were working in a situation like that, where the "parents" dropped kids off in a store and left, I'd call the police and have them pick up the kids and take them into protective custody, and wait for the "parents" to come back. Yeah, I'm evil that way.

You're not evil just concerned about a lawsuit--that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I only threatend to do that.

[Broomjockey]

Right, mod note time.

For anyone who's forgotten this thread: http://www.customerssuck.com/board/s...ad.php?t=39928

I have a quick refresher. No nasty nicknames for children. Lady J'ssem made a nice thread, so everyone play nice.

[Green_Fairy]

speaking of awesome parents...

today we had a couple ladies come in today. they each had a child around 2. as they're ordering their drinks, we're joking and having a decent time, so i figure they're gonna be decent customers. well...the women sit down to enjoy their drinks...and seemingly forget about the kids. they're the only people in the store, luckily. the little girl pulled down a basket of teddy bears and she and the little boy start throwing and kicking them around. then they line them up on all the chairs. then they start pulling cups off of the shelves. luckily the ceramic and glass ones are up where the kids can't reach them. the girl starts carrying one around with her and starts chewing on it. so does the little boy. at this point, i've had it. i'm working on the bar and we have a lot of customers in the drive thru, so i ask my shift lead, M, to do something about it. she goes up to the women and asks, politely, for them to watch their children. the moms say loudly "okay time to clean up!" like it's their nursery or something...they don't, tho. they just leave. but before they do...one of the moms goes up to M and asks for her name in not-so-nice tones...
and we're left to clean up. we ended up throwing away the cups the kids were chewing on because they had teeth marks all over the rims. it's ridiculous!

[Pagan]

I have a psp that I listen to while working, so I let her listen with me.... Now add older brother who clearly wanted attention too.... Welcome to warning bell number three! I had to let both kids listen to my music while I worked on cleaning up more of the litte girl's mess...

Where was it written that you had to let them listen to your PSP? What would have happened if one of them had broken it or decided that it was *theirs*?

[craftmafia]

At my store we used to have kids crafts in the classroom every saturday, and the parents were all told that they were supposed to stay in the store while the children were in the classroom. One day, a woman left her little girl and after class she wasnt there to pick her up. We tried paging her, but she wasn't in the store, and the girl gave us her moms number but she wasn't picking up. Two hours later the instructor finally called the police to come get her, and they got ahold of her father who came and got her. The next day the woman came in screaming about how we had no right to call the police, because now the father could use that against her in the custody battle they were currently in. Unfortunately for her, we called the police a second time because she was making a scene and wouldn't leace. I'm kind of hoping she lost, because the father was really nice and polite and seemed responsible, and she was just batshit insane.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

What blows my mind is the number of people who will just leave their kids with strangers whom they know nothing about! I mean, who DOES that?? It's horrifying!

We have preschool with a homeschool group that meets once a week at a church. AA meets there in the morning for a bit at the same time and just last week, someone opened a door, stuck their kid into one of the classrooms, and walked out. It's a classroom for crying out loud. She said NOTHING. Just dumped the kid and left, like it was free child care or something. She's lucky we weren't "Molesters Anon" or something like that.

They were nice about it, but they made her come get her kid. Last time, a lady came into our class and asked, and we had to turn her away. At least she asked, and we were nice about it, but man, that is not a road you want to start down. No good deed goes unpunished.

[LillFilly]

Wow.

My last mall we had parents leaving their 10yo and younger kids in the game stores playing the demo games while they shopped. The kids might be left there for hours! Sometimes they'd call us and we'd have to page the parents. Sometimes the kids would wander off and the parents would raise holy hell with the store for 'not watching my children!' We always had to intervene and tell them that this was NOT a daycare nor an arcade and that BOTH were available at our mall!

When I worked at a movie theater this scary movie had just come-out. A little girl wandered from the theater about 1/4 through and didn't want to go back in because it was scary! Her parents never left the theater in that whole 2 hours to find where she went! I ended-up finding her some paper and crayons and she played in the lobby (it was quiet). The parents just came-out of the theater and she left with them; they had no comment whatsoever, nor a thank you for watching their kid. Afterwards my manager chewed me out for having my 'little sister' at work!!! And I had to explain to him what had happened. He was upset at the parents after that!

[Kogarashi]

I thankfully haven't had anyone directly assume that I'd babysit their kids, but I have seen my share of unsupervised children before.

In the NY Wally World, there was one boy who was taking the large bouncy balls out of their bin one by one and bouncing them down one of the store's main aisles. I asked him to stop and he looked panicky/guilty and ran off to the opposite side of the store. I saw plenty of other children wandering aimlessly around the toy section there as well, no parents in sight.

At the CT Wally World, I was on a register all shift, yet somehow saw more of the unsupervised children. Worst were the two girls who were playing around the big ice freezer and one shut the other inside and held the door shut. The mother's saving grace was that as soon as she saw me reprimanding the girls, she came over and backed me up. I chalked that one up to the "take your eyes off for one minute" rule.

Then there were the two girls manhandling some bobblehead candy junk and beating it against the displays. I asked them to please stop damaging the merchandise, and then got a telling-off from their mother who was two registers away and ignoring them, and a later reprimand from the CSM the lady complained to.

And there was a trio of children running around the front end, especially the tiny "arcade" corner, and carrying around clearance lunchboxes. This went on for a good long while before their dad showed up to corral them into a shopping cart and put the lunchboxes back.

What blows my mind is the number of people who will just leave their kids with strangers whom they know nothing about! I mean, who DOES that?? It's horrifying!

SC: "But they're paid to not do anything unspeakable to my children!"

[Dips]

What blows my mind is the number of people who will just leave their kids with strangers whom they know nothing about! I mean, who DOES that?? It's horrifying!

"Horrifying" is exactly how I would describe that. I mean *I* know I'd rather die than harm a child but how can a complete stranger know that I can be trusted?

Your story about the poor kid who was just abandoned made me very sad and angry. That's just awful.

Somebody who didn't know my husband from Adam asked him to walk his child into the church building for a class because his leg was broken and he didn't feel like getting out of his car. It's not quite so horrifying because it was a crowded parking lot and lobby but if Dad of the Year had chosen the wrong person it wouldn't have been hard to just pretend to go in the door then go right out again and God know where.

Instead my husband went in the door with the child and told a staff member what happened. Hopefully they made a phone call to Dad of the Year.

I chalked that one up to the "take your eyes off for one minute" rule.

My job is in an office now so this sort of thing only happens at neighborhood events where I volunteer. So I'm not getting paid to put up with this shit nor do I have to worry about being fired. If I see any unsupervised little kids in my vicinity I scan for the parents. If I don't find them, I ask the kids to point them out, then I march the kids right back to mom or dad.

Even if I suspect otherwise I always treat cases of abandoned children as if the parent lost track of them or thought they were with the other parent (that's happened to me ). When I return the "lost" child to the parent I'm giving them a graceful out and an opportunity to pretend they aren't a complete schmuck. If they play along that's the end of it; these things can happen to anyone, you know?

If they don't play along, then I'm not shy about telling them we expect parents to stay WITH their children. If they argue, I point blank tell them our neighborhood association doesn't run background checks on our volunteers because they are NOT EVER allowed to supervise anyone else's children.

[Note: No need to point out that background checks aren't sufficient by themselves or that most cases of child sexual abuse are perpetrated by people who have groomed the child's family into trusting them. While I'm quite aware of those facts, merely pointing out the lack of a background check IS sufficient to make any but the stupidest parent rethink their behavior. That's what I care about in that moment.]

[Jester]

The mother's saving grace was that as soon as she saw me reprimanding the girls, she came over and backed me up.

Yay!

...got a telling-off from their mother who was two registers away and ignoring them...

*boot to the head!*

...and a later reprimand from the CSM the lady complained to.

*boot to the head!*
*boot to the head!*