Stop acting like I'M a pain in the ass. YOU'RE the Pain in the ass.

[WouldYouLikeToBuyAPhone?]

This just in:

Me: Welcome to <My Company> You're speaking with <Me>
SC: I'm calling about <Plan>. Can you tell me more about it?
Me: Ok, what would you like to know?
SC: No no no, you're the salesperson, yes?
Me: .. Yes. (You dickhead)
SC: And you don't know anythink about your plans?
Me: I know a great deal about the plans. I'm trying to find out what you want to know.
SC: I want to know what a person like me would want to know about this plan.
Me: (Fine, whatev.) On this plan you get blah and blah for $x a month on a X months contract.
SC: Is that everything you know about this plan?
Me: No, I know a great deal more. Do you have any specific questions?
SC: Will I get coverage?
Me: Depends on where you are.
SC: ...
Me: ...
SC: I'm in Melbourne.
Me: Where in Melbourne?
SC: Melbourne, MELBOURNE!
Me: (New York, New York!) Melbourne is a big place. If your in the city, then yes, you'll get coverage.
SC: I'm in <Suburb of Melbourne>
Me: Great! Then yes, you will have coverage.

SC: Put me through to the mobile phone department!
Me: huh?
SC: You are sales, yes?
Me, through gritted teeth: Yes.
SC: You have done the sales part. Now I want to talk to the mobile phone department.
Me: We are a mobile phone company. Every department is the mobile phone department. I can't put you through to anyone until you give me more information.
SC: FINE THEN! Put me through to billing!

[jjllbb]

What the hell? What a jerk.

[42_42_42]

SC: I want to know what a person like me would want to know about this plan.

Answer 1: Well, then, you'll have to tell me about yourself.

Answer 2: What, a dickheaded shit-for-brains assfaced jerk?

I mean, really, that kind of statement is just asking for a snarky comeback.

______________________

I would have been sorely tempted to launch into a very long soliloquy of the minutia of the plan.

[fireheart]

This just in:


SC: Put me through to the mobile phone department!
Me: huh?
SC: You are sales, yes?
Me, through gritted teeth: Yes.
SC: You have done the sales part. Now I want to talk to the mobile phone department.
Me: We are a mobile phone company. Every department is the mobile phone department. I can't put you through to anyone until you give me more information.
SC: FINE THEN! Put me through to billing!

If they ever come to Adelaide....

[Calud]

Shame on you WouldYouLikeToBuyAPhone?! You could've been much more helpful.

I mean, hellooooo... working for how long in the industry and STILL NOT ABLE TO READ THOUGHTS? Tsskk....




Luckily my customers only come typed and not on the phone, so I have time to question my crystal ball, to translate from idjit language to normal thinking, but cause of years of customerservice, slightly disturbed person language.

[Chrismor]

Mobile phone department?

Why not do what we do here in the travel agency. Any member of staff will answer the phone as *any* department and the clients usually do not know the difference.

Even if the same person picks up the phone as a different department they have believed to be on to someone else.

C.

Note: While this system works for us, the intelligence/(un)common sense of your customers may differ. YMMV. (That said, it would probably work on the customer in the OP.)

[Nurian]

SC: I want to know what a person like me would want to know about this plan.

Answer: It will allow you to use your shiny talky thing and make you feel like even more of a pretentious little monkey.

[trailerparkmedic]

Even if the same person picks up the phone as a different department they have believed to be on to someone else.

I used to work for Appliance Store's call center. They did work on appliances under the Appliance Store brand, but they also did work on appliances under Other Repair Service brand. Basically, two different sets of techs, vans, etc, all owned by the same people with calls from both companies routed through my call center.

I mostly answered calls for Other Repair Service, sometimes I would get Appliance Store's calls. I had one lady call in under the Appliance Store number, then 5 minutes later she was my very next call, but on the Other Repair Service line. She had no idea I was the same person. It was kind of funny.

[EricKei]

She had no idea I was the same person. It was kind of funny.

I get that doing software support where I am. The way our calls work is, you call in, we take down info, tech calls you back in a few minutes (generally because we like to make sure we have the right edition & year of the program open, have the KB set to the error code you got, etc, so we can get the call done fast, as we charge by the minute when were on the phone for the actual support call). Thing is, we're a small place; I often take both the initial call and the actual support call. Very very few people realize when both calls, both of which began with "This is EricKei". are from the same person... >_<

[EvilEmpryss]

Very very few people realize when both calls, both of which began with "This is EricKei". are from the same person... >_<

That's because in SC Land, the loser who answers the phones and merely takes a message isn't important enough to be given the courtesy of having their name remembered. All that matters is the person who calls back to fix the SC's life-interrupting problem.

Oh, and my eternal gratitude and respect to all tech support people. I had to do some of what you do for a few months when my unit deployed and three(!) laptops mysteriously came down with viruses (and folders full of porn, too). As we had no IT guys with us, and I made the mistake of letting people know I was pretty good at figuring out most basic computer issues, I got hit with the job. I soon discovered that it is MUCH easier to work on troubleshooting a problem with the computer in front of you than it is to rely on some goombah to try to explain it over the phone. Especially when said goombah is an officer who is just starting to realize how deeply he has gotten himself in trouble for downloading porn on a military computer and refuses to tell you exactly what he was doing that caused all those wonderful little popup windows to appear.

A mile in another person's shoes, as they say.

[brucetiki]

Sounds like a SC I had on Saturday.

I knew this was going to go well when he calls me a completely wrong name (like how would anyone get that name out of my name).

Calls up wanting a short-term cover note on a car previously written off. 1 - we don't do short-term covers, 2 - written off cars at best have to be approved by the underwriters (who aren't in on Saturday). Despite spending several minutes teliing him to call back Monday, he kept alternating between 'put me through to the underwriters' or 'put me through to an insurance consultant'. 1. As I told you repeatedly, underwriting is closed, and 2. I am an insurance consultant. Finally managed to get it through this guys head to call back Monday.