CAKE TO AMERICA ( Reprise! )

[Javarod]

I don't follow, does this mean the AWOL manager has to let the fire dept. onto the premises to put out the inferno?

No, but there's prolly reports for insurance purposes, and securing the property, and so on. I am surprised though that there was no other emergency number to call, such as the owner, since even ifn its the manager's job to deal with this, the owner has a vested interest in being plan B should he (or she in other cases) fall short.

[Broomjockey]

I am surprised though that there was no other emergency number to call, such as the owner,

It's probably owned by a property management company, and thus no actual "owner." It'd be like trying to get in touch with someone above the store manager at a McDonalds. You can do it, but you're not likely to have a number just laying around for that district manager.

[XCashier]

You are beating a horse so dead it has fossilized and been declared a national heritage site.

Best. Quote. EVER. May I use it in my signature?

Then just after the 5 hour mark I try to call him again and discover...he has turned his cell phone off to stop me from calling. Oh my GOD. Dude, you idiot.

Oooh, I would NOT want to be in that idiot's shoes for all the money in the world. He's going to have so many new ones torn he'll resemble the surface of the moon!

[Mr Hero]

I'm going to have to keep watching this thread for updates on the manager

[El Pollo Guerrera]

More Specific, Please
...
I need an answer that is a tad more concrete then that if you would.

Strange... I get that problem a lot. That is, a lot for a guy who makes photocopies for people...

Me: "How many copies do you need?"
Them: "I don't know... between 10 and 20..."

Me: "Do you need then 3-hole punched?"
Them: "Maybe..."

There isn't a 'random' button on the machines...

!!!!

Me: “And your name please?”
C: “Gozer.”

……right....um, well then, so I’m assuming that appears as “Gozer T. Destroyer” on your Mastercard then?

"Are you the Gatekeeper?"

I read that, and my brain saw "Familiar Feces".
I need help.

It's because you've (and GK) have seen and heard this shit before...

[Darkforge]

Then just after the 5 hour mark I try to call him again and discover...he has turned his cell phone off to stop me from calling. Oh my GOD. Dude, you idiot.

Not that I actually want to stand up for this guy, but there is the possibility that after having rung several times the battery may have gone from playing whatever tune is top of the charts this week at an obscene volume...

<slaps self for almost standing up for this idiot>

[siead_lietrathua]

Though I fear I am merely trying to shield this tiny flicker of hope from the unending hurricane of stupidity that howls around us. It will not last long. We can only hope the light lasts long enough for us to get the survivors and the power cells back to the shuttle.

sorry, completely off topic, but yay Pitch Black.

[Wenchie]

Not that I actually want to stand up for this guy, but there is the possibility that after having rung several times the battery may have gone from playing whatever tune is top of the charts this week at an obscene volume...

<slaps self for almost standing up for this idiot>

Except that you'd think that he would've picked up his phone and answered it at least once in the 5 hours before it died, if that was the case. Nah.... I think the guy really was that stupid and shut it off.

[Talon]

Though I fear I am merely trying to shield this tiny flicker of hope from the unending hurricane of stupidity that howls around us. It will not last long. We can only hope the light lasts long enough for us to get the survivors and the power cells back to the shuttle.

Can't believe I missed that little easter egg. Pitch Black FTW!

[Gravekeeper]

Heh heh, glad someone caught the Pitch Black reference ;p

Manager is in all likelihood doomed. Every action we take at work is automatically logged by the system and every call inbound and outbound is recorded. So he won't have a leg to stand on if he throws it back at us. He could attempt "My cell died" if he wanted, but he also has a pager and a residence landline we were calling every 15 minutes too.

As for whether it died or not Rogers cellphones have a distinct message if the phone is dead or the caller is out of the service area. Thus was not the case. If it was dead it would ring a few times and then say as such: "unavailable or outside of the service area".

Although I can't completely rule out the aforementioned possibility that his cell phone ring tone is so long and obnoxious that it drained the phone's will to live. It's a strangely believable scenario. ;p

Course it doesn't save him from the landline/pager equation. There's absolutely no way all 3 failed.

Best. Quote. EVER. May I use it in my signature?

If you wish, it is merely one step closer to total board dominati-er, sure, go ahead.

[Wenchie]

If you wish, it is merely one step closer to total board dominati-er, sure, go ahead.

Heh. I've addicted people to this site based on your posts GK... a few people log in weekly just to see your latest adventures with the wonderous population of Pants&Hats Land.

Please update us when you find out that the manager was canned!! I'm sure you'll know since your contact numbers will have to be updated.

[Kara]

Me: “And your name please?”
C: “Gozer.”

"Are you a god?"

On an unrelated subject, I saw a guy at Wal Mart the other day wearing a shirt that had a picture of a headset and said "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am."

I was momentarily jealous of you beating me to merchandising, but then I realized that it could not be an officially licensed Gravekeeper product because it wasn't black enough. Otherwise it would have been so dark it sucked in all light in the immediate vicinity, and perhaps one or two people foolish enough to get too close to its event horizon.

[Magpie]

More Specific, Please

Me: “And your postal code please?”
SC: “It’s XXX 1D3”
Me: “Alright, so XXX 1D3?”
SC: “Or maybe it was 3D1….”
Me: “……”
SC: “Oh well its one of those two.”

I need an answer that is a tad more concrete then that if you would. I believe the question was “What is your postal code” not “Please present me with a verbal list of possibilities of your postal code”. Believe it or not swapping the numbers around in a postal code can trigger surprisingly different locations. So unless you have somehow transcended physics and are occupying two locations simultaneously, one of which has requested the other to order it pants, then you’re going to have to narrow it down to a single point for me.

1D3 and 3D1 should be relatively close together... of course I'm from Toronto, if this was Nunavut I'm sure they're not only not in the same city, but they're on opposite sides of the territory.

OH GOD EVERYTHING IS MADNESS

SC: “There’s a leak in the pipe in the basement, it’s really small and I don’t know if it’s really a problem or not. It’s just a drip.”
Me: “Alright, is it something that needs to be attended to immediately?”
SC: “I DON'T KNOW!! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT PIPES! I DON'T KNOW IF THEY LEAK OR BURST OR WHAT! I'M ONLY 25 AND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! I ONLY KNOW WATER'S COMING OUT OF WHERE IT SHOULDN'T BE! OH GOD!"

Oh I believe you, trust me. I just don’t think it has anything to do with your age. Most people can comprehend “Water leak from pipe = bad” around the same time they can comprehend “shoelaces”. So I’m pretty sure your ability to grasp a situation is independent of the time you’ve spent on this Earth so far. I’m more concerned that you’re legally capable of both drinking and operating a motor vehicle but cannot seem to scale the level of panic and urgency in direct proportion to the amount of rogue water involved in this situation.

I will admit that I can see myself reacting not a lot better than this. However, the "I'm only 25" part would be in my head. You might hear an audible whimper, and then a despairing description of the rate of leakage, with the assumption that you're someone who does a better job of pretending to be a responsible adult than I do, and you can tell me. The fact that this would be over the phone means that, for me, talking to you at all is a major accomplishment. Expecting me to identify if the plumbing problem will get worse is NOT going to happen.

[lordlundar]

I don't follow, does this mean the AWOL manager has to let the fire dept. onto the premises to put out the inferno?

Nope, in the event of an emergency, said emergency services do not need permission to do their jobs. If there's a gate blocking access for example, well, said gate won't exist for long.

[Broomjockey]

"Are you a god?"

Yes. *points to sig*

1D3 and 3D1 should be relatively close together...

If by "relatively close together" you mean "possibly as much as 5000 blocks apart," yeah. After all, you need to go through 1{D-Z}{1-0}, and 2{A-Z}{1-0} and 3{A-C}{1-0} before you hit 3D1.