At Least They're On the Phone Now...

[Princess-Snake]

As some of you may know, I had to quit my grocery job over a year ago what with the transplant and everything. I am now the operator/secretary/receptionist/agent at a company that sells tours to Greece, Turkey, and Iseral. My boss' family also own a math tutoring business just at the next office, and a Greek restaraunt 15 minutes away from the building.

Me: Hey ya'll
Boss: My boss
SC: You know who this is

Time Goes By So Slowly

SC: I need to speak to Boss now!
Me: Unfortunately, Boss is currently in a meeting (she was walking her dog and stopping by her parents restaraunt for lunch) and will be unavailable for at least an hour. May I transfer you to your voice mail?
SC: No you may not! Give me her number!
Me: I can assure you, Boss will be able to return your call in an hour if you will just leave a message for her.
SC: I can't wait around here for her to call me back! I'm in California and it is 11:00 at night right now!
(Note: I am in Maryland. Maryland is only 3 hours ahead of California and the clock right next to me said 2:08 pm
Me: Sir, if you are in California, it should only be 11:08 am right now.
SC: You don't know that! You're just a secretary!
Me: Sir, we are located on the east coast of the U.S. and we are only three hours ahead of you.
SC: Well, I was in California yesterday, but right now I'm in Chicago, and it's 1:00 in the morning!
Oh, how I loved Carmen Sandiego when I was a kid. Kind of got me interested in geography in the first place, though I aim to be a phlebotomist.
Me: Sir, it is currently 1:09 pm in Chicago.
SC: Well, my mother in law is in Chicago, but I'm in New York and it's 4:00 in the morning!
Me: Sir, New York is located at the east coast and it is currently 2:10 pm over there.
SC: Fine then! I'm in Russia!
Me: Where in Russia, sir?
SC: Umm.... Moscow? Yeah, that's it! Moscow! And it's 3:00 in the morning right now!
Me: It is currently 10:12 pm in Moscow.
SC: Aaargh! Screw you, you smart mouth bitch! *can hear phone slamming in its cradle.*

Stairway to Heaven

SC: Yeah, I'm scheduled to stay at the XYZ Hotel in Crete at month/day. How many stairs does it have?
Me: If you are handicapped, we would be more than happy to place you in a room on the first floor.
SC: Oh, no one's handicapped. We just don't go near stairs because they're tools of the devil. No one should ever climb up stairs to the top. Only the Lord is allowed to be on top.
Me: Brain deflating.

Over the Cliff

SC: The hotel website says only children over the age of 16 are allowed. Why is that?
Me: Because the hotel is located in Santorini. Santorini is an island filled with huge cliffs and many of the hotels are located on the cliffs. A lot of hotels in Santorini do not allow children because they do not want children playing near the cliffs.
SC: Well, why not?! I promised my five year old and my seven year old they could play on the cliffs!
Me: Ma'am, this is highly unadvisable. We do not wish for your children to accidently fall over the cliff and severly hurt themselves.
SC: Oh, they won't fall over the cliff! And if they do, I can just sue the hotel for not watching them, right?

[SecurityWench]

You probably don't know me, but welcome back! Glad to see you've got more stories for us.

As for the first story, kudos! I'd kill for that kind of SC-defeating power.

Second story, what the....yeeesh. Some people.

And third, there needs to be a special level of hell for those people. Let's sign a petition and send it down to Satan for reviewing.

But still, welcome back!

[EvilEmpryss]

Stairway to Heaven

SC: Yeah, I'm scheduled to stay at the XYZ Hotel in Crete at month/day. How many stairs does it have?
Me: If you are handicapped, we would be more than happy to place you in a room on the first floor.
SC: Does a mental handicap count?

Corrected for proper response.

[Ravenzfire]

Someone probably should check up on their time zones. I can understand maybe getting a little confused from the east coast to west coast and where the time zone lines are but to just stubbornly plow ahead like that trying to make stuff up just blows my mind. Obviously it wasn't super duper important if they ended the whole thing by hanging up. What a jackass.

The last one makes my brain go all grindy inside. I've always felt that people should have to get a permit to have children, or something. I mean you have to get a liscense to operate heavy machinery but you can just bring another life into the world and hardly give it the time of day and expect that it's up bringing and wellbeing is going to be everyone's responsibility but yours. At least until someone tells the child no or stop that, then they are their kids and you have no damned right to tell them what to do. The mind, it boggles.

[bainsidhe]

My brain went to a screeching halt on that last one. Stabbity stabbity.

[Ironclad Alibi]

SC: We just don't go near stairs because they're tools of the devil.

And third, there needs to be a special level of hell for those people. Let's sign a petition and send it down to Satan for reviewing.

I suggest you go down the stairs to get the petition to the devil.

[Andara Bledin]

SC: Oh, they won't fall over the cliff! And if they do, I can just sue the hotel for not watching them, right?

"And that is why the hotels do not allow children under 16."

^-.-^

[Anthony K. S.]

SC: You don't know that! You're just a secretary!

. . . "Just" a secretary? . . . And apparently thinks that people who are "just" secretaries aren't capable of distinguishing time zones . . .

Stay classy, Mr. SC.

Talk down to people, and, of course, blatantly insult the person who has the power to determine whether or not your message ever reaches the person you want to talk to. Always a smart move.

SC: Fine then! I'm in Russia!
Me: Where in Russia, sir?
SC: Umm.... Moscow? Yeah, that's it! Moscow!

Oh, yeah, that was smooth. Can't see any possible way that a person could figure out that you're not on the level . . .

SC: Oh, they won't fall over the cliff! And if they do, I can just sue the hotel for not watching them, right?

Don't you just love it when customers tell you up front that they're insane?

[AyreBiskits]

Talk down to people, and, of course, blatantly insult the person who has the power to determine whether or not your message ever reaches the person you want to talk to. Always a smart move.

i loved getting calls like those when i was a secretary, *cough cough* admin assistant, office slave. oh ya, your call is gonna go right through, you know exactly what the magic word is to get your call to the person you wanted to talk to.

i really liked the ones who would call me because they tried to call someone directly on their cell phone and didn't get an answer. so they called me and ask why they can't reach so&so when the number i had was the same one they had and i had no forwarding number or much less any idea so&so was even out of the office. oh i know!! let me get my magic 8-ball out and it'll tell me the number you should be calling. it also doubles as a gps-tracking device to let me know where my doofus boss is at any time of the day.

[tropicsgoddess]

The sheer stupidity of those SC's makes mine look like members of Mensa!

[Evil Queen]

The last one hurt my brain so much.

I still plan on having a child-free hotel chain.

[Sunflash]

The last one hurt my brain so much.

I still plan on having a child-free hotel chain.

Child free, with black smoke and red-glowing eyes at the foot of the staircases behind a door; and white smoke seeping out of a locked door at the top of the staircases? ?

[South Texan]

SC: Oh, they won't fall over the cliff! And if they do, I can just sue the hotel for not watching them, right?

NO! NO! NO!

Let's go over this again.

The DIAPERS were disposable (as were the CONDOMS you should have used).

The CHILDREN are NOT.

Someday these people will get this concept right.

[Princess-Snake]

NO! NO! NO!

Let's go over this again.

The DIAPERS were disposable (as were the CONDOMS you should have used).

The CHILDREN are NOT.

Someday these people will get this concept right.

Yep... You just keep telling yourself that.

[mharbourgirl]

The last one hurt my brain so much.

I still plan on having a child-free hotel chain.

Build it some place warm and I will stay there REGULARLY, doll. And I'll bring Baileys and my special fudge marshmallow brownies just because it would be ten kinds of rude not to bring a gift for such a gracious host.