It's been a while, but heres proof I'm still alive.

[coldcupofjoe]

So it's been a while. In case you don't read the news, the car industry hasn't been doing do good lately. Something about a recession, GM shutting down half of it's brands and all kinds of other fun things.

So I've been busy, I've learned that working two jobs sucks, and that I have a deeper appreciation of the fact that I don't run a cash register for a living. Also I'm back up to 90% usage of my left hand which is awesome. I can type without pain again!

Here's three quickies, a rant, and a game. Enjoy!

Three Things Not To Leave in Your Car When Selling It.

You will not get these back.

Naked pictures of yourself. Young, old, male, female, attractive, unattractive. A home will be found for them. Either in a tool box, a trash can, or in an unsuspecting co-workers workspace.

Illegal drugs. Especially if I find enough. I think it's funny to call the cops. And don't call asking for them back. I think it's even funnier to call the cops with your address to give them.

Condoms. Unopened or not. And I'm not buyin' that you wear magnums.

Porn!

Of all types! Boxes and boxes! Your trunk is full to bursting! Your backseat is filled to the bottom of the windows! Smut rags! Raunchy videos! Buxom babes galore!

While I am intrigued by your porn collection, I do not want to know, nor do I care to know, why you are transporting several lifetimes worth of prurient pictures and salacious videos in your car.

BTW, I gave you some fender covers to put over the ones in your back seat.

Virgin eyes on the roads and stuff.

3 Things I Will Not Trade for Work.

If you smell like a fish market, 'your body' is not acceptable payment. Even if I can't smell you through your clothes I'm not interested. Happily married and all.

Legal advice. It does not put food on my table. Promising that you will get me out of my next speeding ticket doesn't work either. 7 years of driving and one speeding ticket. Not planning on getting any others any time soon.

Crappy Wal-Mart tools. I've spent thousands of dollars on my tools in just two years, your twenty dollar set of metric and standard sockets with a ratchet does not compare to my fine tooth ratchet and my precisely crafted and rigorously tested sockets. Oh, and mine have lifetime guarantees.

I get it.

You hate gays. Good on ya. Really, fantastic, bravo. You managed to form an opinion all on your own. I'm proud of you. Really! No, really I am!

Just because you have one doesn't mean I want to hear it. Nor does it mean that I proscribe to your opinion. As far as I'm concerned you can believe whatever you want to believe. Don't try and force it on me. I don't care, I don't want to hear it, and I personally believe that engaging you in a debate would be a waste of time.

If you insist on flapping you gums at me, then don't get butt-hurt when I make you sound like an idiot. If you weren't one I wouldn't be able to make you sound like one. Now go away before I decide your car in unfixable.

Let's play a game.

It goes like this, one sentence with two blanks and two columns of three answers.

First to match them up wins a cookie.

You put blank(answer from column A) in your blank?!? (answer from column B)

Column A
Gasoline
Coolant
R-134 (Freon)

Column B
Windshield Washer fluid
Transmission
Tires

I'll even give you hint's. One isn't a huge deal, one made me laugh, and one made me sad that someone took the time to figure out how to do this without ever stopping to think if it was a good idea.

[MrPibbsRevenge]

Glad to hear that your hand is up to 90%

For your little quiz game, I'm going to guess
"Freon" in the "Tires"

[wraiths_crono]

I guess Gas in the Wiper fluid!

[Alteran Ancient]

You hate gays. Good on ya. Really, fantastic, bravo. You managed to form an opinion all on your own. I'm proud of you. Really! No, really I am!

I'm not gay or anything (just so you know), but there's nothing more I hate in this world than homophobes and racists.

...and I'd guess at Coolant in the Windscreen Washer. It sounds like the sort of thing an idiot might do.

[HYHYBT]

Let's see...
No big deal: antifreeze in the washer fluid bottle (EASY to do, and to undo)

Made you laugh: freon in the tires (*almost* sortakinda makes sense to try if you have a flat tire and a can of freon, but no pump)

How'd you manage that?: gasoline in the transmission (perhaps they thought the inside of the transmission needed a good cleaning, and remembered that gasoline is a solvent?)

Not being in that business, I only have one relevant story, but it's a good one. Dad once had a 1971 Cadillac that needed a new timing chain. He took the opportunity to take the engine apart completely and "improve" it by removing every other piston. The idea was to save gas, and in a way it did... the car actually RAN afterwards, at least as far as the car wash and back, but shook so badly that it cracked the transmission, letting all the fluid out by morning. Which permanently parked the car, reducing its fuel consumption considerably. I still sometimes miss that car.... and, somewhere, I have one of the leftover pistons.

[Victoria J]

I'm not gay or anything (just so you know)

Well I was wondering...




This is not something you will be able to discuss here. Too controversial, too unrelated to sucky customers.

Victoria J

[Seshat]

It is, however, something you are more than welcome to discuss on Fratching.

[Sheldonrs]

...This is not something you will be able to discuss here. Too controversial, too unrelated to sucky customers.

Victoria J

What if I wanted to barter for car repairs like the OP mentioned? I could really be a "sucky" customer. hehehe

[Victoria J]

It is, however, something you are more than welcome to discuss on Fratching.

I forget what it's called I avoid the controvesy as I get enough of that everywhere else at the moment.

What if I wanted to barter for car repairs like the OP mentioned? I could really be a "sucky" customer. hehehe

See above :

'your body' is not acceptable payment.

No one's ever offered me sex for doing my job. I was once offered an Indian meal.

I think it's the only time any one ever tried to bribe me. I have been offered things by customers who were pleased - the only thing I had to turn down I really really regretted was from a customer we'd helped with his debts. He was ex-army and had decided that to get some extra money in he'd advertise around town to do ironing. He offered to do all my ironing for free. Sadly we can only take gifts if they are small and can be shared with all colleagues - very fair in this case as I'd only done a tiny bit of work where other people had really helped him.

Actually considering that rule it's really really lucky no one ever offered sex.

Though yesterday I had someone come in, having put down on the sheet they fill in that they wanted benefit advice. I saw them and these 2 young women actually wanted advice on setting up a business "to offer sauna, massage, sex" and wanted to know if this was legal. They had strong accents and I had to ask them to repeat and then asked "you mean prostitution ??" to which they happily nodded. No one has ever asked about it before - even when I worked right opposite an alleged "sauna" so I was quite pleased as it kind of shows people find us approachable.

My supervisor said "well I guess someone is getting benefits"

er, sorry for rambling.

Victoria J

[Andara Bledin]

First to match them up wins a cookie.

You put blank(answer from column A) in your blank?!? (answer from column B)

Column A
Gasoline
Coolant
R-134 (Freon)

Column B
Windshield Washer fluid
Transmission
Tires

Well, the Freon goes in the tires, of course, Gas in the tranny, and Coolant in the wiper fluid reservoir.

Right?

^-.-^

[Broomjockey]

Gas in the tires (so you've an emergency reserve, duh)

Coolant in the transmission, and freon in the windshield washer fluid. Or possibly switched. But I'm sticking my my "gas in the tires" theory.

[HYHYBT]

Victoria J: sorry, but now I *have* to tell this. A year or so ago, a 'day spa' opened up in my grandparents' old house... and promptly closed again. I've heard it was for prostitution, and have been wondering ever since exactly what Grandma and Grandaddy's reaction would have been if they heard. Of course, had they still been around to hear about it, it couldn't have happened because they'd be living there.

[Victoria J]

Victoria J: sorry, but now I *have* to tell this. A year or so ago, a 'day spa' opened up in my grandparents' old house... and promptly closed again. I've heard it was for prostitution, and have been wondering ever since exactly what Grandma and Grandaddy's reaction would have been if they heard. Of course, had they still been around to hear about it, it couldn't have happened because they'd be living there.

Maybe they'd have been too innocent to be upset ?

My father managed to visit a gay sex shop without realising. Not sure he's innocent, more an idiot.

He was walking along the road near his home and saw that a new shop had opened. In the window were various male manniquins in outfits. He apparently thought "ooh, a new clothes shop" and went inside. He did not notice that all the clothes were rubber with various bits cut out. He did not notice the large sign saying "You must be over 18 to enter".

He did notice the videos playing on the screens inside though.



He said "they were very nice men". About the shop staff, apparently he stayed for a bit of a chat.

Maybe your grandparents would just have liked the nice women who'd moved into the neighbourhood. Probably they'd have been more clued up than my father though, it isn't hard.

Victoria J

[HYHYBT]

Oh, they'd have known. And I doubt they'd say "they were very nice women," either: Grandaddy was a Baptist pastor from roughly 1950-80.

[depechemodefan]

I remember I had some type of problem with my truck and my mom and one of my uncles were tellng me to put transmission fluid in the gas. I went to buy some gas treatment but my uncle came by and put transmission fluid into the gas tank. It didn't do any harm, and I forgot what I finally had to do, but the transmission fluid seemed to had no sense.