Pimps, Ho's, and Pecan Pie

[Jay 2K Winger]

Yaaaaay! Another post from Kara!

I always enjoy reading Kara's Tales from the Clink.

[Fire_on_High]

High on the list of discussions I never thought I'd seen on a mainstream forum...

Not that I'm complaining

[Andara Bledin]

Oh, and about Junebugs--I watched Untold Stories of the ER one night on Discovery Health, and a lady actually had one get inside her damn ear!

They can go forward, but they're not really any good at backing out again. It's not a particularly uncommon event.

It isn't just the magic, it's whether you believe in it if you're the curser. The cursee can not believe in it but if the curser's belief is stronger, the cursee will end up being cursed.

*nods*

Yup, it all comes down to belief. The rest of it is mostly props to strengthen that belief.

Of course, the magic-user has an uphill battle, since they have to fight not only the un/disbelief of the target/victim, but also that of those around them.

Fun stuff.

^-.-^

[ralerin]

The Prisoner of Asskaban

Lesson learned: consider that the strange object may be a scrying ball, especially if the inmate is wiccan. Fortunately, A) the inmate wasn't upset by it, and B) I think it's one of those things where it only works if you are a believer in the magic. Either way, his face is still intact. So far...

If it was in a bag with some herbs and a lock of hair, it could be either a love spell or a curse spell. Love spell because of the bead, curse spell because of the book you found with it.

And, plenty people don't believe in karma but they get smacked upside the head with it. It isn't just the magic, it's whether you believe in it if you're the curser. The cursee can not believe in it but if the curser's belief is stronger, the cursee will end up being cursed.

[infinitemonkies]

Hey Kara, here's a good prison story I came across through Randy Cassingham's This is True publication, and thought you'd enjoy:

I'm a corrections officer in Northwest Arctic Alaska, at a small local facility (12 bed).
I was working an evening shift with another officer, and there were some prisoners playing Monopoly in the day room using a recently donated game. We looked at our duty board and discovered one of the prisoners was due to get out of jail for 'Time Served' a couple of hours ago.

Obviously, he wasn't tracking his time that closely, and I stood up to start the 'release' process. At that very moment the prisoner in question stood up from the Monopoly table brandishing the 'Get Out of Jail Free' card at my window and grinning. I immediately opened the day room door, accepted his card and told him to 'roll 'em up'! (jail-speak for 'get ready to go'). He said 'Really'? I said 'yes' and he went into his cell to gather his things together.

A few minutes later I opened the door again to get him out and he wasn't ready. 'Are you going?' I asked. 'You were just kidding right?' he replied. I told him I was serious and that he should get out. As he went and got his stuff, other players were showing cards in my direction. I told them 'no, only the first one counts' and released the prisoner without another word.

[BrenDAnn]

Kara, you aren't the only one with an unbelievable fear of things with wings & stingers. I freak the hell out whenever a bee or a wasp is anywhere in my sight! The last time, there was a wasp in dad's car, and I would NOT stop freaking out (I almost crawled into the damn back seat to get away from it, since it was on the windshield, INSIDE the car) until he stopped the car and got the thing out of the car. He rolled his eyes the entire time of course, but damn it, I can't help it!Oh, and about Junebugs--I watched Untold Stories of the ER one night on Discovery Health, and a lady actually had one get inside her damn ear! **shudders** She was screaming and freaking out so bad they had to sedate her, and she said the sound of it was like a helicopter in her head. Ugh. Made me never want to fall asleep outside, EVER!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Be prepared to move over to the perv thread.

I think this thread has already sunk below the sewer . . .

[Becks]

*sits down beside Becks*

Be prepared to move over to the perv thread.

[mikoyan29]

The glove was evil....but funny.

[RestaurantDude]

Kara, this stuff is comedy GOLD. I cannot get enough of your inmate related whatnot.

[Megg]

Kara, I have been giggling to myself all day about the pie crust comment. You should make your own company, screw Hallmark! "Inmate Greetings" by Kara. I would buy them!

[Teskeria]

YaY!! was just telling my daughter and her boyfriend that we needed a post from Kara. Glad to hear you're still doing okay. Love the green tea bit!

[Andara Bledin]

Ever wonder why there aren't any Christmas specials set in a prison?

Wait, Oz didn't have a Christmas special?

I find a book titled "How to Turn Your Boyfriend Into a Toad," and it's full of spells. The only useful one I saw was "How to Get Rid of Noisy Neighbors." Meanwhile, my coworker asks me to look at something he found tied off in a plastic sandwich baggie.

Lol. As soon as you mentioned the bead in the baggie after the book of spells, I knew it was some type of spell set-up. There's a good chance that the hair belonged to a different inmate.

I am Evil

Yes. Yes you are.

That's actually kind of shocking, if it's true. I mean, if ex-cons can't get jobs at fast-food restaurants, that pretty much leaves construction and drug dealing as post-incarceration career choices. No wonder they don't stay gone long.

Actually, there are a lot of ex-con telephone sales jobs out there, specifically because it can be tough for them to find jobs.

I used to buy a really good anti-stink spray from one of those places. The stuff is damn good (and expensive, too), and I've been wondering how I'm going to replace it since the ex-cons haven't called me for several years...

Depending on what they did, it's quote probable that my work would hire someone who did time.

don't worry my first husband and several of my friends hate junebugs as well-apparently it's a popular bug to hate....I just don't like them getting caught in my hair....

June bugs are about the stupidest critter to ever be seen by man.

I hate the things.

Nothing like being woken from a dead sleep by something hissing at you a few inches from your ear, and you sit up to realize the damn thing is caught in your hair!

... then there's the time a June bug flew itself down the back of my pants... >.<

^-.-^

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I can only imagine.

*sits down beside Becks*

I brought Diet Dr. Pepper to go with the popcorn. I can't wait to hear about Valentine's too . . .

I suppose in prison it could be referred to as VD.

[Kara]

I just don't like them getting caught in my hair....

That's the reason I hate them. Their legs are pokey and they make that... junebug noise on your head. My skin is crawling just thinking about it.

Love the Xmas song, did they make that up themselves?

Yeah, uh, I wrote that. There was a sketch of said reindeer with a furry hat with a big flamingo feather sticking out and jewel-encrusted antlers, but it no longer exists.

And hey, I thought there was ALWAYS a mole in a prison; or maybe it's a pigeon?

Around here it's a rat.