The map is WRONG! (warning: long)

[bhskittykatt]

Another thread brought up this memory. This guest either (A) didn't know what he was really talking about, (B) was in some weirda** denial I'd never seen before, or (C) a little bit of both. My money's on C.

First, a brief geography lesson of Washington State (this is pertinent). We are in Northwest Washington. Moses Lake is in Eastern Washington, and is about a five-hour drive from where we are. WA is effectively divided into West and East by the Cascade Mountains.

To get across the mountains, you have a few options. The closest to us is the North Cascades Hwy, which is about 20 minutes south of our town, however, it is closed in the winter, which is when this happened. Next one south is Steven's Pass. After that, it's Snoqualmie Pass on I-90.

One last highway that is important here: the Mt. Baker Highway, which connects my town to nearby Mt. Baker. Once you get to Mt. Baker, the highway ends. It does not continue over the mountains. There's just a parking lot. At least, for most people that's how it works...

</geography lesson>

This guy checks in, fresh off of one of the islands. Our conversation was as follows:

SC: "I'm visiting my nephew tomorrow and need to get to Moses Lake. How do I get there?"
Me: "Well, your most direct route is head south to Seattle and then take I-90 east..."
SC: starts screaming "SOUTH!?!? NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO SOUTH!! I've been there before, and I KNOW I NEED TO GO NORTH!!!"
Me: "I suppose you could cross the border to Canada and go through Manning Park, but that's pretty far out of your...."
SC: "WHAT?!?! I'M NOT GOING TO CANADA!!! I'M GOING TO MOSES LAKE! I KNOW IT'S NORTH! DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING?"
Me: "I'm sorry, I'm not sure how else to get you there."
SC: "I KNOW IT'S NORTH! Last time I went over there I took Mount something....Mount Baker! WHERE IS THE MT. BAKER HIGHWAY?!?!?"
Me: "Er, well, you can go north and take Exit 256, which is that highway. From there you can connect to Hwy 9 which will take you south to the North Cascades, but this time of year they're clos...."
SC: "NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO SOUTH! I KNOW I HAVE TO GO NORTH!!"
Me: At this point, I'm wondering if he's got the right city name, since there are several "lake" communities north of us. "Are you sure you mean Moses Lake and not Silver Lake? Because Silver Lake is on the..."
SC: "NO!!!! I TOLD YOU MY NEPHEW LIVES IN MOSES LAKE AND I TOOK THE MT. BAKER HIGHWAY TO GET THERE!!!"
Me: "Sir, that highway doesn't cross the mountains."
SC: "YES IT DOES I TOOK IT LAST YEAR!"
Me: "Okay, why don't we consult the map, shall we?"

I whip out my handy-dandy road map.

Me: "Sir, we are here."
SC: calmly "Yes."
Me: "And Moses Lake is allllll the way over here."
SC: "Yes."
Me: "And this is the Mt. Baker Highway."
SC: "Yes."
Me: "The highway ends here."
SC: "No."
Me thinking WTF?
Me: "Sir, it's here on the map, it ends right..."
SC: "The map is wrong."
Me: "Sir, I can assure you..."
SC: screaming again "THE MAP IS WRONG!!! YOU NEED A NEW MAP!!! THIS ONE IS OLD!!! I TAKE THE MT. BAKER HIGHWAY TO GET THERE!!! I TOOK IT LAST YEAR AND GOT THERE!!!"

This repeated itself for some time.

SC: "NAAK-SIL! WHERE IS NAAK-SIL?!?!"
Me: "Uh.....what?"
SC: "NUL-SEEK! WHERE'S NUL-SEEK?!?!"
Me: "I don't know what...Nooksack?" (Nooksack is on the Mt. Baker Highway)
SC: "WHATEVER! I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED; HOW DO I GET THERE?!?!
Me: "Just take the Mt. Baker Highway out and you'll hit it..."
SC: "FINE! I'LL FIND MY WAY FROM THERE!"
Me: "You do that." In my happiest, cheeriest voice, "Have a nice day and travel safely!"

Several months later, I went hiking up at Mt. Baker. As we drove around trying to find parking in the lot at the end of the highway, I looked to see if there was any new road that continued on. Lo and behold, the highway dead-ends in the parking lot!

[JustaCashier]

Geeze! What a Chuckanut!

I think I would have told him, if he didn't Quileute yelling, he could just go Humptulips!

[/end Warshington State inside joke]

Mike

[alowlypotato]

I have this image in my head of this guy reaching the end of the road, getting out of his car, flailing his arms about over his head and screaming, "NO YOU DO NOT END HERE!!! YOU ARE LYING TO ME!!!" and then spending the next day or so attempting to drive through the mountains.

[gremcint]

Several months later, I went hiking up at Mt. Baker. As we drove around trying to find parking in the lot at the end of the highway, I looked to see if there was any new road that continued on. Lo and behold, the highway dead-ends in the parking lot!

This isn't the end of your post, DON'T LIE TO ME. THERE IS MORE TO YOUR POST. I DON'T CARE WHAT THE BROWSER OR WEBPAGE SAYS, THEY ARE WRONG, THEY ARE OUT OF DATE THEIR IS ANOTHER PART OF YOUR POST ABOUT YOUR SECRET LIFE AS A SPY FOR CANADA WHILE LIVING IN CHINA. I KNOW THERE IS.

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

Now, if we'd gotten that Bullet train like they promised, he could have gotten to Moses' Hole in an hour. Or, like they said, anyway.

Wonder if he got lost last time and went over Vantage or some roundabout way?

[Lachrymose]

Is it bad that I only recognized the name "Snoqualmie" because the Snoqualmie Lodge (as The Great Northern) and Falls were featured in Twin Peaks?

[mikoyan29]

Yeah it must be the map....Always the map.

If you don't want the directions and you know so much, why did you ask in the first place?

[Soulstealer]

This isn't the end of your post, DON'T LIE TO ME. THERE IS MORE TO YOUR POST. I DON'T CARE WHAT THE BROWSER OR WEBPAGE SAYS, THEY ARE WRONG, THEY ARE OUT OF DATE THEIR IS ANOTHER PART OF YOUR POST ABOUT YOUR SECRET LIFE AS A SPY FOR CANADA WHILE LIVING IN CHINA. I KNOW THERE IS.

And in this parking lot they found the body of the SC in a rusted car. The end.

Happy now?

[eltf177]

I think I would have let him take the Mount Baker Hightway and let him find out if it was closed or not...