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From over the last month or so:
Note: It's been raining a lot lately, especially now it's the first week of Autumn.
Pie Drop
Very quick one to start.
Fairly tipsy customer buys a pie, takes it out of bag to start eating.
Me - You'll have to eat it outside.
SC - It's raining *fumbles & drops pie*
Me - Get out
The floor is WET
Sometimes I hate suits more than drunks, because suits think they have the right to complain about anything.
As I mentioned earlier, it's been raining a lot and unfortunately our roof leaks so despite out best effort there are puddles on the floor (marked by bright yellow signs).
Suit - Excuse me there's water on the floor.
Me - I know, the roof leaks everywhere.
Suit - But there's water everywhere.
Me - Is there a sign over there?
Suit - Yes.
Me - Okay then.
Suit - The floor is wet.
Me - Well it's raining sir.
Suit - The floor is WET
*continue*
Thanks I needed a laugh
Young drunks + plus running on wet forecourt = me laughing my ass off as you fall on yours.
Inviting Sexual Harassment
So Hungry Jacks (Aussie version of Burger King) is making their employees wear large round badges (3-4 inches across) on their chests to advertise their new-ish Angus burgers.
Had a poor young cutie from the HJs down the road in the store, obviously on her way home from work. The girl wouldn't have been more than 17 but was rather well developed so the badge was sticking out like a billboard saying "look at my boobs", I'm straight so I did notice but I keep my thoughts to myself.
Bloke in the store at same time makes a very crude comment involving meat and buns.
Poor girl goes red.
Scooby tells bloke to get the fuck out and shakes his head at the thoughtlessness of HJs management.
Spill and Run
Busy, morning rush time. Big line to back of store.
And I hear the lovely sound of something being dropped (thankfully not glass) it's a bottle of ice-tea, the lids of which seem to shatter at the slightest impact so now I have a puddle on the floor.
Customer comes up to the counter with bottle, places it on the counter and promptly walks out the door.
So I place wet floor signs out and leave spill for coworker whose already late, go back to serving customers.
Complete Sentences Please
Before lock out time I sometimes have the "pleasure" of drunks coming in to share their wise and thoughtful company.
And their one word requests.
I hate playing 20 questions.
SC - *leaning on hot pie cabinet* Hey!
Me - How can I help ya?
SC - Pie?
Me - (funnily enough I guessed that) Sure what kind?
SC - Pie
Me - ....
SC - Cheese
Me - ....
SC - Bacon
Me - Cheese and Bacon pie, Any sauce?
SC - ....
Me - No then? Okay $*.** thanks.
SC - sauce!
Me - (oh for f*ck sake) Okay that makes it $*.** (yeah we charge for sauce
)
I give the SC his sauce, take the money, give change (have to open a roll of coins).
SC - What's taking so f*cking long?
Me - if you used more complete sentences we'd be done by now
SC - F*cking snob
Me - (WTF?) Goodbye
hmmm I think I'll take the pretty blonde girl thanks
I love staff meetings!!!
Well okay not really but at least I get paid for sitting around for two hours making sarcastic comments and don't have to wear my uniform.
This particular day I was early and the store got a little busy so I helped out on the tills.
Wearing one of my Taylor Swift t-shirts.
So meat-head customer (MHC) in a footy jersey comes to the counter, takes one look at my shirt:
MHC - Taylor Swift? You're a f*cking fag.
Me - Hmmm being a fan of a cute girl instead of a bunch of sweaty men? Yeah I must be the gay one here.
MHC - *blank stare of clearly not getting it*
Me - *walks away from the till*
MHC - Oi! Get back here and serve me you faggot!
Me - Do I look like I'm being paid to work today?
And I put my earphones back in and walk into the office to find Boss and a couple of coworkers laughing.
Me - What?
Note: It's been raining a lot lately, especially now it's the first week of Autumn.
Pie Drop
Very quick one to start.
Fairly tipsy customer buys a pie, takes it out of bag to start eating.
Me - You'll have to eat it outside.
SC - It's raining *fumbles & drops pie*
Me - Get out
The floor is WET
Sometimes I hate suits more than drunks, because suits think they have the right to complain about anything.
As I mentioned earlier, it's been raining a lot and unfortunately our roof leaks so despite out best effort there are puddles on the floor (marked by bright yellow signs).
Suit - Excuse me there's water on the floor.
Me - I know, the roof leaks everywhere.
Suit - But there's water everywhere.
Me - Is there a sign over there?
Suit - Yes.
Me - Okay then.
Suit - The floor is wet.
Me - Well it's raining sir.
Suit - The floor is WET
*continue*
Thanks I needed a laugh
Young drunks + plus running on wet forecourt = me laughing my ass off as you fall on yours.
Inviting Sexual Harassment
So Hungry Jacks (Aussie version of Burger King) is making their employees wear large round badges (3-4 inches across) on their chests to advertise their new-ish Angus burgers.
Had a poor young cutie from the HJs down the road in the store, obviously on her way home from work. The girl wouldn't have been more than 17 but was rather well developed so the badge was sticking out like a billboard saying "look at my boobs", I'm straight so I did notice but I keep my thoughts to myself.
Bloke in the store at same time makes a very crude comment involving meat and buns.
Poor girl goes red.
Scooby tells bloke to get the fuck out and shakes his head at the thoughtlessness of HJs management.
Spill and Run
Busy, morning rush time. Big line to back of store.
And I hear the lovely sound of something being dropped (thankfully not glass) it's a bottle of ice-tea, the lids of which seem to shatter at the slightest impact so now I have a puddle on the floor.
Customer comes up to the counter with bottle, places it on the counter and promptly walks out the door.
So I place wet floor signs out and leave spill for coworker whose already late, go back to serving customers.
Complete Sentences Please
Before lock out time I sometimes have the "pleasure" of drunks coming in to share their wise and thoughtful company.
And their one word requests.
I hate playing 20 questions.
SC - *leaning on hot pie cabinet* Hey!
Me - How can I help ya?
SC - Pie?
Me - (funnily enough I guessed that) Sure what kind?
SC - Pie
Me - ....
SC - Cheese
Me - ....
SC - Bacon
Me - Cheese and Bacon pie, Any sauce?
SC - ....
Me - No then? Okay $*.** thanks.
SC - sauce!
Me - (oh for f*ck sake) Okay that makes it $*.** (yeah we charge for sauce
)I give the SC his sauce, take the money, give change (have to open a roll of coins).
SC - What's taking so f*cking long?
Me - if you used more complete sentences we'd be done by now
SC - F*cking snob
Me - (WTF?) Goodbye
hmmm I think I'll take the pretty blonde girl thanks
I love staff meetings!!!
Well okay not really but at least I get paid for sitting around for two hours making sarcastic comments and don't have to wear my uniform.
This particular day I was early and the store got a little busy so I helped out on the tills.
Wearing one of my Taylor Swift t-shirts.
So meat-head customer (MHC) in a footy jersey comes to the counter, takes one look at my shirt:
MHC - Taylor Swift? You're a f*cking fag.
Me - Hmmm being a fan of a cute girl instead of a bunch of sweaty men? Yeah I must be the gay one here.
MHC - *blank stare of clearly not getting it*
Me - *walks away from the till*
MHC - Oi! Get back here and serve me you faggot!
Me - Do I look like I'm being paid to work today?
And I put my earphones back in and walk into the office to find Boss and a couple of coworkers laughing.
Me - What?
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