Back To The, er, Future(?)

[earl colby pottinger]

Down

The biggest thing we get every year, is the biggest mining conference in the world going on right now, and you don't know fun 'til you've partied with miners!

They know the secret of getting 'Down and Dirty'?

[BookstoreEscapee]

Wait, wait, hear me out. I’m not crazy.

Some might beg to differ...

is undoubtedly no more complex than a microwave

Do you really think they can work a microwave?

Is there a mandatory IQ test to order from this catalogue? I'm worried that I'd score too high to be allowed to use it

If there is I'm sure it's a maximum, not a minimum...

[JoitheArtist]

Perhaps this is an attempt to merely purchase a single leg canvas and affect manual repairs on an existing sub-waistial leg sheath

GK, I would kill for your way with words.

Oh, not kill YOU. Some random person, probably. But human sacrifice would definitely be involved.

Mr Hero
Well I've also been sleeping with your pet goat!
That goat doesn't love you.

Juwl:
I've been sleeping with your dog, Woofy!
Woofy, you B****!

Once you start watchin',
There's just no stoppin',
Your brain shuts down and your IQ's droppin'...

[dianek93]

Half-pant

Me: “And what size you like?”
SC: “15”

In women's clothes, at least the one's I've looked at here in California, are frequently sized in numbers that mean NOTHING. Men's clothes are actually sized in inches, women's are some random number. I personally am a size 5, and usually do not let most other women know my pant-size or weight because I am skinny, and they will complain about me being skinny and they are not. Even the one's I think are skinny... NVM, enough rambling about how women don't make any sense when it comes to weight or size.

[SG15Z]

Day late I know, I've been working on other things.....yeeessss....

Hm, ominous....

Lets see, that would be a "hoodie" as you call it......which comes in the colour…”Vanilla Ice”. Yes, that’s right. Vanilla Ice. I am not making that up.

.................Wow um, I hate to ask this, because I probably already know the answer (I remember Vanilla Ice too), but what color does "Vanilla Ice" resemble?

At least SC is only 5 years early for self-lacing shoes, and jackets with automatic sleeve adjustment.

Yeah and of course the flying cars. Seriously how did you forget about the fact we're gonna have flying cars in 5 years. Don't get me wrong, self-lacing shoes would be cool, and I'd totally buy some, but not as cool as flying cars!!

[Mr Hero]

Yeah and of course the flying cars. Seriously how did you forget about the fact we're gonna have flying cars in 5 years. Don't get me wrong, self-lacing shoes would be cool, and I'd totally buy some, but not as cool as flying cars!!

I don't think flying cars, or any cars for that matter would appear in GK's catalogues.

[Ironclad Alibi]

Yeah and of course the flying cars. Seriously how did you forget about the fact we're gonna have flying cars in 5 years. Don't get me wrong, self-lacing shoes would be cool, and I'd totally buy some, but not as cool as flying cars!!

Flying cars have been with us for almost 100 years. I liked the Aerocar, which was featured in the New Bob Cummings Show back in the early 1960s.

[Kristev]

Too bad they stopped making "Jaws" films at # 4, The revenge. Sigh, I love those movies. Sniffle sniffle.

Too bad you can't act like Lt. Uhura and say "They're jamming all the frequencies," whenever you want to an SC. They might understand that. Lol.

And you've brought back very, very bad memories of turtles and bad music in the same film. I'm afraid to eat my sugar-free vanilla ice cream.

[infinitemonkies]

I don't think we'll ever see the flying car become practical, and it's probably for the best.

I mean, if you think people are bad drivers now....

The first multi-vehicle flying-car collision will occur about 14 seconds after the 2nd one is sold, and both drivers (pilots?) will have been talking on the holo-phone.

[dalesys]

... talking on the holo-phone.

"I've got the right of way!"

Kiddies, can you say "fiberglass rain"?

[SG15Z]

I don't think flying cars, or any cars for that matter would appear in GK's catalogues.

That wouldn't stop them from trying to order one.

Flying cars have been with us for almost 100 years. I liked the Aerocar, which was featured in the New Bob Cummings Show back in the early 1960s.

Ok maybe I should have been more specific. I meant hover cars. You know like the ones in the movies that'll probably never exist anytime soon. Or ever become practical.

[Jester]

GK, I have to say, great post! But I am concerned. I feel you may have finally jumped off the wagon and started joining us drinkers in imbibing. Because, as fantastic a writer as you are, you occasionally make mistakes and typos, but this week your post was stocked full of them. My only theory is that you typed up your post after eighteen beers, three Jager bombs, and one Surfer on Acid. But that's just a theory.....

Thus the purchase and mention of such an article can only lead to amusement and mockery from the proceeding generation and any parental units in vicinity. It is all a most devious trap set for the amusement of their elders and I for one gleefully approve of its execution.

Ah, but you realize that if the older/parental generations mocks it derisively, it will only make it that much more attractive to those buying it. Did our parents not roll their eyes at our music, our fashion, our fads? Did that not make us more certain that we were cool and they were utterly clueless? Did their parents not do the same to them? Did they not react the same as us? As it always has been, and as it always will be.

I eagerly await the Milly Vanilly camo baby T’s.

So, what....they will actually be sports bras faking being baby T's?

Even if you where the last female anything of any species still roaming this world I would still have a list of around 7 types of salt water algae and at least 2 domesticated animals that would romantically preferential to yourself as prime marriage material.

By your own words, that makes the 2 domesticated animals male domesticated animals. Just so you are aware of what you are vowing here.

Me: “Alright, would you like anything else?”
SC: “No.”
Me: “So that’s everything?”
SC: “No.”

You cannot answer both with a negative. They cancel each other out.

Welcome to my world.

Me: "Are y'all ready to order?"
SC: "No."
Me: "Need a few more minutes?"
SC: "No."

In other words she has essentially just requested not a pair of jeans, per say, but one pant leg of said jeans.

Or to put it another way, she just ordered a jean.

Personally, I look forward to the day that someone orders a panty from you.

Yet if I were say "Well then just piss in the sink for fuck sakes" then I would be considered the rude one.

From my experience in Mexico, I know that pissing in the sink is, in fact, an option. Especially if you are male. The problem comes for (A) females and (B) when the problem isn't about peeing.

...your beaver is probably operating at peak operational efficiency.

Ya know, one day I really want to say that to a woman. Though I think it would probably be best if I did that when I was already near the end of a terminal illness. Since uttering such things to such persons is often quite terminal itself.

...you don't know fun 'til you've partied with miners!

Actually, I hear that partying with minors can get one in boatloads of trouble.

What's that? Oh, miners, not minors. Okay, nevermind that.

In any case, back to your original point: I politely beg to differ.

Not that I've partied with miners. I haven't. But I have partied with the best of the best in the best party places. Key West. New Orleans. Las Vegas. New Orleans. NYC. L.A. Seattle. Mexico. Arizona State University. Professional musicians. Movie stars. Nudists. Young Australian women with beer on a boat. Harley riders who like to share their women. (Or men.) People who have taken stuffing phone booths to a new level, and stuff hot tubs. (Been there. Interesting.) South Africans with hammers. Drag queen karaoke DJ's. Magicians. Strippers. Mormons. Swingers. Swing dancers. (There IS a difference between the two!) Frat boys. Sorority girls. Drunk police officers who were driving. Future murderers. Psychotic twins.

Miners? I got your deep explosive shaft right here!

Okay, I'm lying. I never partied with Mormons or drag queen karaoke DJ's. Just hung out with them.

...enough rambling about how women don't make any sense when it comes to weight or size.

Or anything else in the universe!

Remember, the second part of the Universal Law of the Sexes is "all women are insane."

Seriously how did you forget about the fact we're gonna have flying cars in 5 years.

They've been saying that for a long, long, long time!

That being said.....

I don't think we'll ever see the flying car become practical...

I disagree. I think it will happen. Maybe not in our lifetimes, but I think it will really happen.

Remember, a lot of things that we take for granted were considered completely impractical and/or unlikely not too long ago. Things like portable phones that have computer games, music players, and video playing devices, and fit in your pocket; access to facts, figures, history, and data from all around the world from your home computer; not to mention a successful white rapper.

[Andara Bledin]

Day late I know, I've been working on other things.....yeeessss....

I can't be the only person burning with curiosity over this rather intriguing statement...

( Hint: I am old. )

You lie.

Me: “And what size you like?”
SC: “15”

This completely innocent sounding exchange seems totally harmless on the surface. Until I interject the fact that she is ordering a pair of jeans and the jeans are sized by waist size in inches.

Oh, how I wish I could afford to order pants that were sized by their actual dimensions, as opposed to the somewhat arbitrary numbering system that girl is obviously used to.

Granted this whole endeavour would involve sowing.

Wait, wait, when did we switch to farming?
(sorry... I just couldn't resist. )

Well when this world domination thing comes to fruition, remember, we're laughing with you here, not at you.

What she said.

I wholeheartedly agree, and would like to see a sample of this color, so that I can mock the proper people. I googled vanilla ice color and got a quite interesting video of Jim Carrey doing a parody of the song, but alas, no examples of said color.

You're doing it wrong.

Try "color vanilla ice" instead.

It actually appears to be a rather common color choice, for everything from sports wear to business suits.

Yeah and of course the flying cars. Seriously how did you forget about the fact we're gonna have flying cars in 5 years.

Oh, hey, that means "oblivious dude" from way back when will finally have the opportunity to get run over by one.

^-.-^

[Gravekeeper]

GK, I have to say, great post! But I am concerned. I feel you may have finally jumped off the wagon and started joining us drinkers in imbibing. Because, as fantastic a writer as you are, you occasionally make mistakes and typos, but this week your post was stocked full of them.

Scary part is the spellchecker was on at the time. I blame Beaver Buzz.

By your own words, that makes the 2 domesticated animals male domesticated animals. Just so you are aware of what you are vowing here.

Quite, yes. Its amazing how the years in this industry have propelled "SC" to the top of my list of turn offs. Above even "Vagina Denta".

You lie.

I hit 30 last month. I am feeling acutely old, sad and alone lately. =p Do me a favour, if you see me obtaining additional cats, stage an intervention.

[Bella_Vixen]

I am feeling acutely alone lately. =p

Careful. Becks might pop by for a visit.