I am now a podiatrist

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Woman with a cane comes hobbling up to me, barks "Where are the insoles?"

I get her turned around and walk a few aisles down to where the shoe insoles are. Woman tells me "Aw geez, I walked right past them without looking."

Then asks me "What kind should I get? My feet are killing me!"

Well...I'm not a medical professional, I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night, and if my career involved shoving my face in other people's feet for a living, I'd throw myself in front of a train. So I just told her they make different kinds of insoles based on where your pain is, and left her to choose whatever she wanted.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I'm expected to be one of those myself . . . and I don't even play one online.

Except instead of insoles, replace that with corn pads, which we have several different varieties of.

No, I don't know which one is better . . . perhaps a pharmacist might have more information than I would on that subject.

And please don't ask me what kind of condoms you need . . . that's too short a subject for my attention span.

At least nobody's asked me about anal seepage yet.

[Mr Hero]

And please don't ask me what kind of condoms you need . . . that's too short a subject for my attention span.

At least nobody's asked me about anal seepage yet.

I believe you answered the SC's question already.

[Primer]

At least nobody's asked me about anal seepage yet.

yet.......

[DGoddessChardonnay]

yet.......

That's the key word there. I guess I could always refer them over to Jeff Foxworthy's website, since he's such an expert and all.

[42_42_42]

If someone asked me about condoms, I'd be tempted to had them a package of finger cots.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

If someone asked me about condoms, I'd be tempted to had them a package of finger cots.

And even those could slip and fall off of some members. . .

[ralerin]

If someone asked me about condoms, I'd be tempted to had them a package of finger cots.

Actually, this reminds me-someone came up to me yesterday and asked, with all seriousness, if we had a package of extra small condoms.

There's a porn shop nearby, why didn't he look there?

[dalesys]

I was at a pharmacy when a girl asked us if the "All-Natural Lambskin" condoms were vegan... run around corner...

[Magpie]

In fairness, if I see something labelled as [animal]skin, I'm not necessarily going to take that literally. And I will ask if something is vegan rather than asking about milk. That said...

[VComps]

And please don't ask me what kind of condoms you need . . . that's too short a subject for my attention span.

What you did there. I see it.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Sore feet lady hobbled up to me again today, barked "Where are the light bulbs?! You changed everything around!"

Riiiiight, we changed everything around in one day. You got us. But I shepherded her over to the light bulbs as she complained about the splitting headac he she evidently had, plus her feet were still bothering her. Which is what happens when you solicit medial advice from Irv.