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Thought I'd add my drop to the bucket before I hit the hay.
To get to the customer, follow the large dotted blue line.
Prelude & Opening Ceremony:
The southeast New York region had a MAJOR storm over the weekend. It was essentially an unnamed Hurricane. I woke up this morning to find the garbage can lid from a guy a whole town over. Seriously. The thing was a cross-town frisbee, being batted around by trees as they fell onto cars that had just been purchased the day before. Fences were flying in the wind. Cows were being tipped. Old men shook their fist in sheer unbridled fury at clouds that passed overhead, indifferent to their anger.
Thus, being that I work in a Hardware store, my store was the essential lifesaver and "you-gotta-have-it," "Whaddaya-mean-ya-don't-have-it" shop for the entire weekend.
NO Flashlights.
NO Tarps.
NO Roofing Nails.
Anything that even gives off light has been purchased. We don't even have any more scented candles. I can't even imagine people burning them all at once. What would that even smell like? ... ... no seriously, we have -NO- flashlights left. The pegboard is a bland, lifeless landscape of hopeless dreary head-pounding subject of endless rage from people who need light to see in the daytime and sometime in the near future, the darkness of night between sleep. So yeah, no flashlights. No generators. No cigarette port adapters for your car. No pistols. Stop asking for the dang pistols. And who the hell wants to buy a watermelon from a hardware store!? You're nuts, lady! So yeah, we were far, far more jam-packed than we were even on Black Friday. Our entire electric area was just swamped with people trying to get any flashlight they could get.
Eventually, 6:00 came, and we started to close.
No, it did not go smoothly. Not smoothly at all.
I name him as such because during the stretch of time that takes place between when you get to check for other customers in the store and when the store is actually closed, that time goes far, far too quickly. You have to rush people out, but never have enough time to do it in.
Then, the time that occurs between the point when the store is actually closed, and when you get to go home, stretches on forever. And ever. And ever. And ever. And so on.
So a guy walks in. Looks kinda mad, I guess. He has a pipe in his hand. Looks busted. Yuh. Demands a Plumber. We have a pretty cool plumber in da hizzouse. He's helping him along. Sure. No problem.
So it's now roughly 6:03 PM. I'm doing throwbacks to pass the time.
6:08 PM. Plumbing guy is trying to find a part. Customer is ranting and raving about how stuff breaks. I continue my throwbacks.
6:11 PM. Throwbacks are nearly done. All the other workers at the front are waiting for the plumber and this customer.
6:14 PM. Manager goes back there to see if everything is okay. He has a sammich waiting for him at home before he has to cut up a tree that fell on his new car. He's being surprisingly optimistic about things, all things considered. Meets up with the guy and jokes with him that he's cutting into sandwich time. Customer mumbles something; manager shrugs, and walks away.
6:18 PM. Customer is opening random things to try to find the part despite the Plumber's wishes that he wouldn't. Customer can't find the part that he's looking for.
6:23 PM. Plumber decides that a drastic measure must be taken, and takes a bunch of PVC and begins to craft something.
6:37 PM. The Bionic Customer! Customer emerges with some odd plumbing contraption that I couldn't even begin to understand; seems mollified.
Customer: I need paint.
Manager: The paint counter is closed for the evening, as is the entire store.
Customer: I still need paint.
Manager: I'm sorry, but we're still closed. We've waited for you this long. It's time to check out.
Customer: But I need the paint.
Manager: I'm sorry, but we are closed. Come check out here, and have a nice evening.
Customer: Okay I am not leaving until I get this paint.
Manager: Then you're not leaving. *blank stare*
Customer: *Staring contest with the Manager*
Manager: *Staring contest with the customer. Doesn't seem all that fazed.*
Customer: ... ... ... ... so how much is the paint anyway.
Manager: I'll tell you tomorrow at <opening time>
Customer: But I can't be here tomorrow.
Manager: You're in charge of your own life. Plan it accordingly. *Presents arms toward exit in a "right this way, sir" motion.*
Customer: *Pays and leaves without a word*
I was able to leave at 6:45. My ride had been there since 6:15. ... woo boy.
To get to the customer, follow the large dotted blue line.
Prelude & Opening Ceremony:
The southeast New York region had a MAJOR storm over the weekend. It was essentially an unnamed Hurricane. I woke up this morning to find the garbage can lid from a guy a whole town over. Seriously. The thing was a cross-town frisbee, being batted around by trees as they fell onto cars that had just been purchased the day before. Fences were flying in the wind. Cows were being tipped. Old men shook their fist in sheer unbridled fury at clouds that passed overhead, indifferent to their anger.
Thus, being that I work in a Hardware store, my store was the essential lifesaver and "you-gotta-have-it," "Whaddaya-mean-ya-don't-have-it" shop for the entire weekend.
NO Flashlights.
NO Tarps.
NO Roofing Nails.
Anything that even gives off light has been purchased. We don't even have any more scented candles. I can't even imagine people burning them all at once. What would that even smell like? ... ... no seriously, we have -NO- flashlights left. The pegboard is a bland, lifeless landscape of hopeless dreary head-pounding subject of endless rage from people who need light to see in the daytime and sometime in the near future, the darkness of night between sleep. So yeah, no flashlights. No generators. No cigarette port adapters for your car. No pistols. Stop asking for the dang pistols. And who the hell wants to buy a watermelon from a hardware store!? You're nuts, lady! So yeah, we were far, far more jam-packed than we were even on Black Friday. Our entire electric area was just swamped with people trying to get any flashlight they could get.
Eventually, 6:00 came, and we started to close.
No, it did not go smoothly. Not smoothly at all.
------------------
I present to you:
The Infinite Man
I present to you:
The Infinite Man
I name him as such because during the stretch of time that takes place between when you get to check for other customers in the store and when the store is actually closed, that time goes far, far too quickly. You have to rush people out, but never have enough time to do it in.
Then, the time that occurs between the point when the store is actually closed, and when you get to go home, stretches on forever. And ever. And ever. And ever. And so on.
So a guy walks in. Looks kinda mad, I guess. He has a pipe in his hand. Looks busted. Yuh. Demands a Plumber. We have a pretty cool plumber in da hizzouse. He's helping him along. Sure. No problem.
So it's now roughly 6:03 PM. I'm doing throwbacks to pass the time.
6:08 PM. Plumbing guy is trying to find a part. Customer is ranting and raving about how stuff breaks. I continue my throwbacks.
6:11 PM. Throwbacks are nearly done. All the other workers at the front are waiting for the plumber and this customer.
6:14 PM. Manager goes back there to see if everything is okay. He has a sammich waiting for him at home before he has to cut up a tree that fell on his new car. He's being surprisingly optimistic about things, all things considered. Meets up with the guy and jokes with him that he's cutting into sandwich time. Customer mumbles something; manager shrugs, and walks away.
6:18 PM. Customer is opening random things to try to find the part despite the Plumber's wishes that he wouldn't. Customer can't find the part that he's looking for.
6:23 PM. Plumber decides that a drastic measure must be taken, and takes a bunch of PVC and begins to craft something.
6:37 PM. The Bionic Customer! Customer emerges with some odd plumbing contraption that I couldn't even begin to understand; seems mollified.
Customer: I need paint.
Manager: The paint counter is closed for the evening, as is the entire store.
Customer: I still need paint.
Manager: I'm sorry, but we're still closed. We've waited for you this long. It's time to check out.
Customer: But I need the paint.
Manager: I'm sorry, but we are closed. Come check out here, and have a nice evening.
Customer: Okay I am not leaving until I get this paint.
Manager: Then you're not leaving. *blank stare*
Customer: *Staring contest with the Manager*
Manager: *Staring contest with the customer. Doesn't seem all that fazed.*
Customer: ... ... ... ... so how much is the paint anyway.
Manager: I'll tell you tomorrow at <opening time>
Customer: But I can't be here tomorrow.
Manager: You're in charge of your own life. Plan it accordingly. *Presents arms toward exit in a "right this way, sir" motion.*
Customer: *Pays and leaves without a word*
I was able to leave at 6:45. My ride had been there since 6:15. ... woo boy.
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