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Austria's missing a lunatic.

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  • Austria's missing a lunatic.

    I was in the media section, where DVDs, music CDs, and audiobooks are. Now I’m used to people coming up to me and asking “where are the DVDs?” and I try not to slap them, since the dvds are RIGHT BEHIND THEM, on tall shelves.

    So tonight a man came up to me and asked, “where is the music?” I say, “What do you mean?” because right behind, on short shelves but plainly visible, are the music cds. He replys, “music, scores,” like it’s obvious that “music” means “music scores”. I tell him where they are (on the second floor).

    Shift change, where we go to other floors. I go to the third floor at 8pm and cw is helping the same man. They are looking at books on Austria . CW leaves and man complains about how we only 9 books on Austria , when he was at another of our branches 100s of books appeared. So I tell him let’s go to the catalog and look it up again. He says, “I’m not going back to that branch to look it up.” I tell him, “no this one (catalog computer) here.” Man is complaining about how there were 100s of books. I said some could be Austrian art, Austrian cusine, etc. We were in the history section, the 938s.

    We find one whose call number was 306.

    Man: what does 306 mean?
    Me: let’s click on the title, and we get to see the subject…ok, it says it’s about Austrian politics, political culture…
    Man: no, what the dewey classification means.
    Me: (maybe one words will work here) politics.
    Then we find a book with 940. Napoleon is in the title.
    Man: What does 940 mean?
    Me: Napolean.
    Man: No, we don’t want that....wait, wait, the Sean Shawn one.
    Me:
    He had scrolled down and now is looking for Sean Shawn, which he saw higher up on the page. We find one by the author Sean Shawn.
    Me: That is about Empress Sissy, In Spanish.
    Man: no, I don't want that.
    We find books that start with 914
    Man: what is 914?
    Me: Guide books.
    Man: That is no good. You know I was a guide in Vienna . I knew everything there.
    Me: (sort of faking interest, since I was a bit interested) Really? That’s great.

    So back to bitching about how we don’t have any books.

    Man: I’m not trying to be difficult, but…

    Me (trying not to do an eye-roll)

    Man is looking at a title on shelf: I protested against this man, we blah blah…
    Me: who?
    Man: This man is the second Hitler.

    Luckily someone else needed my help.

    There was much more to his bitching, but I forgot most of it.
    Time! Time! Time is what turns kittens into cats.

    Don't teach me a lesson; all I learn is that you are an asshole.

    I wish porn had subtitles.

  • #2
    "Man: I’m not trying to be difficult, but…"

    We know. It's a natural talent for you.
    "All I've ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who out-drew ya"

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