We Commissioned Your Book Why???

[BookBint]

Just got this email from an author. Straight cut and paste job, I've only replaced the names:

[BookBint]

Just got you’re email with cover. Have to say I am not happy with it as it’s stands. I phoned [UberBoss] last week saying that I would have to instist on using [picture]. He sayed that the digital version I sent wasnt big enough, which seems ridiculous since its of a perfectly good size when viewed on screen. I suggest you’re designers get to work!

Regards
[EW]
MA Hons XXX

Where he went wrong and made me want to kick him:

1) How many basic spelling/grammar errors are there in this email sent by a supposed writer? 6 if I'm being kind.

2) The picture was 21KB and had about seven pixels. Anyone with the smallest understanding of picture quality knows that this is tiny, and could not possibly be used on the front of a book. We explained the notions of 'resolution' and 'pixels' to him, but he is very dense.

3) Ordering the design team to 'get to work!' is a surefire way of getting baked goods lobbed at your head, and the mental transfer of all your submitted covers to the bottom of the pile.

4) Who signs their name and includes 'MA Hons' at the bottom???? It wasn't his automated email signature, that was below, so that means he actually wrote it out, perhaps to prove a point and try to show me how clever he is!!! I am rather tempted to sign my reply 'BookBint MA Cantab' to see how he likes it. For that matter, how about this:

BookBint
Grade 8 Viola
500m Swimming Badge
Milk Monitor, aged 9

What a 'tard.

[poofy_puff]

What does "MA Hons" mean?

[MrTim]

An author with that many errors is unacceptable. I guess I think a person should be proficient in their work. Think about it: If you took took your car in for servicing and they were using the wrong tools, would you trust their work? Or how about going to the bank and learning they only gave you $ 15.00 instead of $ 150.00?
"Oops, my math is bad - misplaced the decimal!"
Now, I understand people have bad days and make mistakes, but 6+ errors is just plain wrong for a person who writes books for a living.

[TelephoneAngel]

What does "MA Hons" mean?

It's a British form of qualification level.

BA is batchelor of arts, first degree, MA is Master of arts, and Hons means with honours

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

[BookBint]

Just got youre email with cover. Have to say I am not happy with it as it’s stands. I phoned [UberBoss] last week saying that I would have to instist on using [picture]. He sayeid that the digital version I sent wasn't big enough, which seems ridiculous since it's of a perfectly good size when viewed on screen. I suggest you’re designers get to work!

Regards
[EW]
MA Hons XXX

F. And you call yourself a writer? Sheesh...

[poofy_puff]

It's a British form of qualification level.

BA is batchelor of arts, first degree, MA is Master of arts, and Hons means with honours

OK, I should have figured that out by myself, but the "Hons" threw me off. I've never seen anyone put that after their degree, and usually people don't even put their degree in their signature unless it is a degree that is REQUIRED in order to "practice" in the field, such as "M.D." or "J.D." or "M.S.W." or something that implies a need to be certified - definitely not something a writer needs to put in the signature of an email like that, especially a writer who can't write.

I'd love to know which correspondence-school he got his "Hons" degree from, though.

[AnaKhouri]

Wow, that's pathetic. Why is this moron getting published and I can't find a damn agent?

And why waste the baked goods when a stapler will do the job even better?

[LewisLegion]

I'm with you Ana.

Bookbint, you wanna publish us? *ROFL* I promise we're a lot better than THAT!

[Andara Bledin]

I think it's fairly obvious that the guy wrote the thing while in high dudgeon, glossed over it with a spell checker (he must have hit skip instead of fix when it got to "instist" and "wasnt") then fired it off without even glancing through it to check his work.

I'd be far too embarassed to show my face if I ever had that many errors in that short a document. That's almost an 11% error rate! I'm ashamed if I get more than 3%.

^-.-^

[Magpie]

I'd be far too embarassed to show my face if I ever had that many errors in that short a document. That's almost an 11% error rate! I'm ashamed if I get more than 3%.

In something that short any mistakes would horribly embarrass me, because it's a lot harder to miss them in something that length.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

And why waste the baked goods when a stapler will do the job even better?

But why do that to a perfectly good stapler? What did it ever do to you to deserve that?

[Ironclad Alibi]

JJust got you’re email with cover. Have to say I am not happy with it as it’s stands. I phoned [UberBoss] last week saying that I would have to instist on using [picture]. He sayed that the digital version I sent wasnt big enough, which seems ridiculous since its of a perfectly good size when viewed on screen. I suggest you’re designers get to work!

1) How many basic spelling/grammar errors are there in this email sent by a supposed writer? 6 if I'm being kind.

Oh boy, a contest. I found 10 errors.

I just got your email with cover. I have to say I am not happy with it as it stands. I phoned [ÜberBoss] last week saying that I would have to insist on using [picture]. He said that the digital version I sent wasn’t big enough, which seems ridiculous since it’s of a perfectly good size when viewed on screen. I suggest your designers get to work!

2) The picture was 21KB and had about seven pixels. Anyone with the smallest understanding of picture quality knows that this is tiny, and could not possibly be used on the front of a book. We explained the notions of 'resolution' and 'pixels' to him, but he is very dense.

So send him a mock up of the cover using his picture. Then charge him extra to change it.

It's a British form of qualification level.

BA is batchelor of arts, first degree, MA is Master of arts, and Hons means with honours

In his biography, Daniel Galley (RAdm, USN (Ret.)) tells of being stationed in Iceland with a couple of British officers:

I had to exchange frequent memoranda and notes with the British Admiral and the R.A.F. Air Commodore. Whenever a high-ranking British officer sends you an official letter he puts a whole string of initials behind his name, D.S.O., K.C.B., etc., indicating the orders and decorations which he holds. When I wrote to my opposite numbers I had nothing to put after my name except Junior, which made no impression whatever upon my gallant compatriots. After I got to know them better and found they both had twinkles in their eyes, I began putting D.D.L.M. after my signature, knowing full well that sooner or later one of them would ask me about it.

Sure enough, one morning I met the Air Commodore in R.A.F. headquarters and after exchanging good mornings he said, "I say, Dan old man, what does that D.D.L.M. mean that you put after your name?"

I said, "Oh, that's the American equivalent of your K.C.B."

K.C.B. (Knight Commander of the Bath), is about the biggest and best decoration the British have, so the Air Commodore was duly impressed. He said, "Well! That's splendid. That's fine." But I could see the wheels going round inside his head as he tried to puzzle out the meaning of the cryptic initials. Finally he gave up and asked, "But just what do the initials stand for?"

I replied, "They stand for Dan Dan the Lavatory Man."

The above quote is from Eight Bells by Daniel Gallery.

(Wow! I just looked up Eight Bells on Amazon.com and found out that a book I bought for 75¢ back in the late 1960s is now selling for $35.00 to $110.59.)

[Andara Bledin]

In something that short any mistakes would horribly embarrass me, because it's a lot harder to miss them in something that length.

I can see something sneaky, like the "instist" misspelling, which I missed entirely on the first read-through. And I've swapped things like "they're" and "their" although I always catch those while proofing.

Oh boy, a contest. I found 10 errors.

We're ignoring the lack of predicate on those first two sentences as the whole missive is written in an informal tone, somewhere between actual speech and proper writing.

And you can't count the "[Uberboss]" bit, because that's a replacement for the boss' name, which was put in by BookBint, as indicated by the brackets. Plus, it's supposed to be a name, so you can't judge it's accuracy without knowing the name, first.

^-.-^

[BookBint]

I'm with you Ana.

Bookbint, you wanna publish us? *ROFL* I promise we're a lot better than THAT!

You got a book proposal for the definitive biography of Napoleon? Bring it on!

[LewisLegion]

ROFL

Napoleon, hmm? He's that short, dead, dude...right?