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I swear, good Friday was day of the nut jobs. I don't think we've had so many nutcases come up to us in one day before.
Chocolate Eggs
So since it's Easter, the company has splashed out and bought a few bowls of mini eggs to put on the counters both at Tech and at the tills.
I'm dealing with this rather large guy with a custom build PC from Scan and he's a little bit pissed off that his PC isn't working. Trouble is that he's not pissed off with the people who caused the problem (Scan had seriously fucked this one up) he's pissed off with us, why? Because I didn't know the answer to his problem before he told me the issue.
Me: Look, just give me a couple of minutes, I'll be able to tell you whats wrong
SC: Fine! I'm gonna go up the back and smash some tellys then
Me: Yeah, you do that mate
SC: *Turns back* and I'm taking some mini eggs!
No word of a lie, he grabs the bowl and EMPTIES it into a bag he was carrying. There was a kid with his mum, who Ade was dealing with next to me
Kid: Mummy, did that man get to be that fat by stealing EVERYBODYS Easter eggs or just the ones from shops?
paperclips + CDROM...not a good mix
A couple comes in with their two very noisy children sitting in one of our trolleys alongside a Compaq Presario All-in-one-box. Immediately the woman turns into the wire-haired wicked witch of the west
Woman: This computer is faulty. the CD Drive is stuck with a CD stuck in there so I demand you replace it
Me: Okay well let me ju--
Woman: I don't want a repair!!
Me: but you want your CD back, I would assume. I'm going to try to get your CD out
Woman: *Grumbles* fine
So I take the computer into the back, pop off the front bezel since the Presario bezels are a pain and it's much easier to get the DVDROM drive out without them on. First thing I notice is that there's a safety pin wedged between the drive door and the drive. I carefully pull that out and try the drive with power. It tried to move but couldn't
Next trick is to get my badge pin and wedge t into the emergency eject hole. Sure enough, I do that, the drive unlocks and pops open slightly. I pull it forwards and find her CD wasn't sitting in the tray properly. it was wedged between the tray and the drive. I could even see where the spindle had come up against the CD. She'd clearly not put the CD in correctly and it had got stuck. So I went back out, holding the paperclip and the damaged CD
Me: There's one of your problems, a paperclip and the other
Woman: I KNEW IT!! I knew you would try to blame me!!
Me: The paperclip and CD were wedged in the drive, it aint a manufacturing problem
Woman: I was told to put that paperclip in there! your call centre operative tried to kill me!
Me: ...Excuse me? I hardly think they were trying to kill you
Woman: When the drive got stuck, I called them and they told me to push the paperclip in with the machine still on
Ofcourse I look at the call centre log and there was no call for her name, address, serial number or receipt number
Me: No, they didn't. You should turn off the machine before doing that as that can damage the drive and the CD
Woman: well they didn't tell me that!
Me: you need to be TOLD to turn off an electrical appliance before sticking something metal into it? I really hope, for your sake, that your toaster never gets stuck.
Woman: well I want to speak to your manager! we'll soon get this sorted
We have a new manager who has replaced Moathouse (didn't take them long, eh?
)called Sal. Sal is what I like to call a "No shit" manager. She will usually side with the CSR (provided they are in the right) and doesn't back down.
Sal: whats the problem here?
Woman explains her side
Sal: (to me) Flea, does the drive work?
Me: Yes
Sal: were these wedged in it?
Me: Yes
Sal: you freed them?
Me: Yes
Sal: (to woman) Then there is nothing more we can do. I'm siding with Flea on this one
Woman: WHAT?!! this is outrageous!! And after I gave myself a 240Volt electric shock with pushing that paperclip in there
Me: Wha..?! No you didn't!! The computer works on 24 volts inside and at 0.2amps which isn't even enough to hurt much less send you into electric shock
Woman: How the hell would you know?!!
Me: I work with them! There are no electrical surfaces even anywhere near the emergancy eject and much more so where you had managed to get the paperclip wedged.
This is the point where the woman starts to do like Dr. Elliot Read (scrubs) does when people piss her off. he voice whent near as damn it ultrasonic. Kinda like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEliTwhqtHw (jump to 0:35 if you don't want to watch a Dr. Cox rant)
Woman: THIS IS FUCKING STUPID! FINE!! GIVE ME BACK MY PC AND WE'LL NEVER BE SHOPPING HERE AGAIN! I'LL BE TAKING YOU TO COURT! YOU'LL SEE!! THAT IS IF YOU DON'T KILL ME AND MY CHILDREN BY TELLING US TO PUT PAPERCLIPS INTO THINGS!!
Security guard: We live in hope
Sal: (To me) How the hell do you work behind this desk all day every day without killing someone?
Me: Violent Video games.
Not paying
This one had a smell computer, and I think you're all aware of what I think of Smell. Thats by-the-by and not actually relevant to the story but I thought I would mention it.
So the guy comes in and drops his computer, which he had bought direct from Smell, on the desk. Tells me what's wrong and I go to switch it on
SC: What the HELL do you think your doing?!
Me: Diagnosing the fault with your computer?
SC: I'm not paying you to do THAT!!
Me: You've not paid anything
SC: And I'm not going to for a diagnostic!
This isn't uncommon. But the symptoms he was describing, I was pretty sure I would get a Blue screen as it started up so in cases like that it's easier to just let the idea of a diagnostic charge go.
Me: I Have to see what's wrong with the computer or I'm not going to be able to help you
So I boot the computer up telling it not to restart if it fails. Sure enough, Blue screen. "un mountable Boot volume" That usually means the hard drive is shot. Not always though. It can mean the windows installation is so fucked that it thinks the hard drive is nailed.
Me: Your hard drives shot there.
SC: So?!!
Me: So you need a new hard drive. Do you have your Smell recovery discs?
SC: I'm Not paying you to do a recovery on my computer when it's the hard drive!!
Me: We don't charge any extra when it's the hard dr--
SC: I'm NOT paying you for a recovery!!
I'm really starting to lose my temper at this point, but I'm keeping a lid on it
Me: Fine, we can fit the hard drive without doing the recovery [It doesn't cost any less, the charge is still £70 but I thought that would shut him up] We just can't guarantee our work
SC: *Sighs*
Me: What size hard drive wou--
SC: DID YOU HEAR ME?!! I'M NOT PAYING YOU FOR A RECOVERY!!
Me: *Loosing my cool* YES! I'm NOT DEAF! I'm trying to help you but you're clearly not interested in the help I have to offer and more worried about saving a few quid. If you want we can repair your computer but you're DAMN SURE gonna pay for it!
SC: I'm Leaveing! this place is FAR too expensive *takes his laptop and leaves*
Next Customer: Should I give you a few minutes? ^^;
Me: Nah. I'm fine
He won't get too far without these though *Picks up the car keys the SC has left on the desk and tosses them to the security guard*
Ofcourse, SC came back into store 5 seconds later and stood at great distace, stareing at my portion of the desk, scanning for his keys but I think perhaps a little too ego-bruised to ask for them. Apparently, a little later the RAC was on our carpark putting his car onto a low-loader lol
Chocolate Eggs
So since it's Easter, the company has splashed out and bought a few bowls of mini eggs to put on the counters both at Tech and at the tills.
I'm dealing with this rather large guy with a custom build PC from Scan and he's a little bit pissed off that his PC isn't working. Trouble is that he's not pissed off with the people who caused the problem (Scan had seriously fucked this one up) he's pissed off with us, why? Because I didn't know the answer to his problem before he told me the issue.
Me: Look, just give me a couple of minutes, I'll be able to tell you whats wrong
SC: Fine! I'm gonna go up the back and smash some tellys then
Me: Yeah, you do that mate
SC: *Turns back* and I'm taking some mini eggs!
No word of a lie, he grabs the bowl and EMPTIES it into a bag he was carrying. There was a kid with his mum, who Ade was dealing with next to me
Kid: Mummy, did that man get to be that fat by stealing EVERYBODYS Easter eggs or just the ones from shops?
paperclips + CDROM...not a good mix
A couple comes in with their two very noisy children sitting in one of our trolleys alongside a Compaq Presario All-in-one-box. Immediately the woman turns into the wire-haired wicked witch of the west
Woman: This computer is faulty. the CD Drive is stuck with a CD stuck in there so I demand you replace it
Me: Okay well let me ju--
Woman: I don't want a repair!!
Me: but you want your CD back, I would assume. I'm going to try to get your CD out
Woman: *Grumbles* fine
So I take the computer into the back, pop off the front bezel since the Presario bezels are a pain and it's much easier to get the DVDROM drive out without them on. First thing I notice is that there's a safety pin wedged between the drive door and the drive. I carefully pull that out and try the drive with power. It tried to move but couldn't
Next trick is to get my badge pin and wedge t into the emergency eject hole. Sure enough, I do that, the drive unlocks and pops open slightly. I pull it forwards and find her CD wasn't sitting in the tray properly. it was wedged between the tray and the drive. I could even see where the spindle had come up against the CD. She'd clearly not put the CD in correctly and it had got stuck. So I went back out, holding the paperclip and the damaged CD
Me: There's one of your problems, a paperclip and the other
Woman: I KNEW IT!! I knew you would try to blame me!!
Me: The paperclip and CD were wedged in the drive, it aint a manufacturing problem
Woman: I was told to put that paperclip in there! your call centre operative tried to kill me!
Me: ...Excuse me? I hardly think they were trying to kill you
Woman: When the drive got stuck, I called them and they told me to push the paperclip in with the machine still on
Ofcourse I look at the call centre log and there was no call for her name, address, serial number or receipt number
Me: No, they didn't. You should turn off the machine before doing that as that can damage the drive and the CD
Woman: well they didn't tell me that!
Me: you need to be TOLD to turn off an electrical appliance before sticking something metal into it? I really hope, for your sake, that your toaster never gets stuck.
Woman: well I want to speak to your manager! we'll soon get this sorted
We have a new manager who has replaced Moathouse (didn't take them long, eh?
)called Sal. Sal is what I like to call a "No shit" manager. She will usually side with the CSR (provided they are in the right) and doesn't back down. Sal: whats the problem here?
Woman explains her side
Sal: (to me) Flea, does the drive work?
Me: Yes
Sal: were these wedged in it?
Me: Yes
Sal: you freed them?
Me: Yes
Sal: (to woman) Then there is nothing more we can do. I'm siding with Flea on this one
Woman: WHAT?!! this is outrageous!! And after I gave myself a 240Volt electric shock with pushing that paperclip in there
Me: Wha..?! No you didn't!! The computer works on 24 volts inside and at 0.2amps which isn't even enough to hurt much less send you into electric shock
Woman: How the hell would you know?!!
Me: I work with them! There are no electrical surfaces even anywhere near the emergancy eject and much more so where you had managed to get the paperclip wedged.
This is the point where the woman starts to do like Dr. Elliot Read (scrubs) does when people piss her off. he voice whent near as damn it ultrasonic. Kinda like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEliTwhqtHw (jump to 0:35 if you don't want to watch a Dr. Cox rant)
Woman: THIS IS FUCKING STUPID! FINE!! GIVE ME BACK MY PC AND WE'LL NEVER BE SHOPPING HERE AGAIN! I'LL BE TAKING YOU TO COURT! YOU'LL SEE!! THAT IS IF YOU DON'T KILL ME AND MY CHILDREN BY TELLING US TO PUT PAPERCLIPS INTO THINGS!!
Security guard: We live in hope
Sal: (To me) How the hell do you work behind this desk all day every day without killing someone?
Me: Violent Video games.
Not paying
This one had a smell computer, and I think you're all aware of what I think of Smell. Thats by-the-by and not actually relevant to the story but I thought I would mention it.
So the guy comes in and drops his computer, which he had bought direct from Smell, on the desk. Tells me what's wrong and I go to switch it on
SC: What the HELL do you think your doing?!
Me: Diagnosing the fault with your computer?
SC: I'm not paying you to do THAT!!
Me: You've not paid anything
SC: And I'm not going to for a diagnostic!
This isn't uncommon. But the symptoms he was describing, I was pretty sure I would get a Blue screen as it started up so in cases like that it's easier to just let the idea of a diagnostic charge go.
Me: I Have to see what's wrong with the computer or I'm not going to be able to help you
So I boot the computer up telling it not to restart if it fails. Sure enough, Blue screen. "un mountable Boot volume" That usually means the hard drive is shot. Not always though. It can mean the windows installation is so fucked that it thinks the hard drive is nailed.
Me: Your hard drives shot there.
SC: So?!!
Me: So you need a new hard drive. Do you have your Smell recovery discs?
SC: I'm Not paying you to do a recovery on my computer when it's the hard drive!!
Me: We don't charge any extra when it's the hard dr--
SC: I'm NOT paying you for a recovery!!
I'm really starting to lose my temper at this point, but I'm keeping a lid on it
Me: Fine, we can fit the hard drive without doing the recovery [It doesn't cost any less, the charge is still £70 but I thought that would shut him up] We just can't guarantee our work
SC: *Sighs*
Me: What size hard drive wou--
SC: DID YOU HEAR ME?!! I'M NOT PAYING YOU FOR A RECOVERY!!
Me: *Loosing my cool* YES! I'm NOT DEAF! I'm trying to help you but you're clearly not interested in the help I have to offer and more worried about saving a few quid. If you want we can repair your computer but you're DAMN SURE gonna pay for it!
SC: I'm Leaveing! this place is FAR too expensive *takes his laptop and leaves*
Next Customer: Should I give you a few minutes? ^^;
Me: Nah. I'm fine
He won't get too far without these though *Picks up the car keys the SC has left on the desk and tosses them to the security guard*Ofcourse, SC came back into store 5 seconds later and stood at great distace, stareing at my portion of the desk, scanning for his keys but I think perhaps a little too ego-bruised to ask for them. Apparently, a little later the RAC was on our carpark putting his car onto a low-loader lol
Although I'd have been mortified if that was one of my kids, that was funny 
Nothing against larger people as I'm one, but the guy really deserved that comment 
20/60mA current loop?
or at least wait til they were out of earshot 
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