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So, Dave goes up to an apartment complex to tow out an illegally-parked Cadillac Escalade SUV.
As soon as he hooks up to it, the Genius (imagine that word positively DRIPPING with rich, syrupy sarcasm, as you’ll soon see why) owner runs out and asks what the big deal is.
He’s told he owes us a $60 drop fee.
Genius reaches over and starts pulling handles and levers on the tow truck bed to try and get his Caddy down, but Dave had anticipated this and had already flicked the master kill switch for the hydraulics, so nothing happens.
Genius yells up to the balcony for someone to toss him his keys, they do. *Sigh* he’s not really going to try and drive off the truck is he? He gets in and starts it up, *Sigh* yes, he is.
Vroom! Goes the Caddy, it lurches maybe just a little on the back of the truck.
Vrooooooom! It lurches a bit more.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM! Now it’s really rocking, but not going anywhere.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It rocks mightily, and *KA-POW!* The left rear tire blows out
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It rocks mightily, and *CRACK!* He just put a big crack in his rear bumper cover.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It rocks mightily, and *CREEAA-CRUNCH!* He just shoved his muffler up into the bodywork
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It rocks mightily, and *CRUNCH!* His left rear fender now has a nasty-looking crease in it.
Genius now figures out that he’s not going to be able to drive off the truck, he shuts the Caddy off, gets out, looks at the situation, turns to Dave and yells
“YOU DESTROYED MY CAR!”
Dave, having called the cops around the time the tire detonated just sits in the truck and tells Genius to wait for Officer Friendly to arrive and mediate things, Genius whips out a camera/phone and starts taking pictures of all the damage “we did”.
Cops arrive, hear his side of the story, realize it’s high-grade fertilizer and tell him he has to pay for a drop.
A little sidewalk math here estimates that in an attempt to avoid $60 (and he couldn't even avoid THAT) he instead put himself in the hole somewhere to the tune of about $3,000 in tow fees, damage to his car and damage to Dave’s truck (All the lurching bent one of the tow “claws” that wrap around the tires)
I feel sorry for his insurance agent, my guess is he'll try to make a claim that it was our fault, can't wait to see what color he turns when they deny it.
As soon as he hooks up to it, the Genius (imagine that word positively DRIPPING with rich, syrupy sarcasm, as you’ll soon see why) owner runs out and asks what the big deal is.
He’s told he owes us a $60 drop fee.
Genius reaches over and starts pulling handles and levers on the tow truck bed to try and get his Caddy down, but Dave had anticipated this and had already flicked the master kill switch for the hydraulics, so nothing happens.
Genius yells up to the balcony for someone to toss him his keys, they do. *Sigh* he’s not really going to try and drive off the truck is he? He gets in and starts it up, *Sigh* yes, he is.
Vroom! Goes the Caddy, it lurches maybe just a little on the back of the truck.
Vrooooooom! It lurches a bit more.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM! Now it’s really rocking, but not going anywhere.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It rocks mightily, and *KA-POW!* The left rear tire blows out
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It rocks mightily, and *CRACK!* He just put a big crack in his rear bumper cover.
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It rocks mightily, and *CREEAA-CRUNCH!* He just shoved his muffler up into the bodywork
VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It rocks mightily, and *CRUNCH!* His left rear fender now has a nasty-looking crease in it.
Genius now figures out that he’s not going to be able to drive off the truck, he shuts the Caddy off, gets out, looks at the situation, turns to Dave and yells
“YOU DESTROYED MY CAR!”
Dave, having called the cops around the time the tire detonated just sits in the truck and tells Genius to wait for Officer Friendly to arrive and mediate things, Genius whips out a camera/phone and starts taking pictures of all the damage “we did”.
Cops arrive, hear his side of the story, realize it’s high-grade fertilizer and tell him he has to pay for a drop.
A little sidewalk math here estimates that in an attempt to avoid $60 (and he couldn't even avoid THAT) he instead put himself in the hole somewhere to the tune of about $3,000 in tow fees, damage to his car and damage to Dave’s truck (All the lurching bent one of the tow “claws” that wrap around the tires)
I feel sorry for his insurance agent, my guess is he'll try to make a claim that it was our fault, can't wait to see what color he turns when they deny it.
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