Some things I'm better off not discovering

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

A package of hemorrhoid suppositories.

Opened.

Just sitting right on the shelf.

With two suppositories missing.

I guess somebody had a heinous pain-us in their anus. I just hope they had the decency not to insert the suppositories right there in the aisle.

[Sheldonrs]

Maybe they used it to get rid of the puffiness under their eyes. :-)

[r2cagle]

Dear gawd, Sheldon....

Besides, it's a raw steak, or frozen pack of veggies for swollen eyes. I'm not going to ask where you use other toiletry items. I really don't want to know.

[Wembley]

Dear Preparation-H:

I ate this whole danged tube and I STILL got these hemrrhoids! I can whistle real good now though!

(Stolen from Bill Engvall)

[aurelemsrealm]

I've often wondered how many sucktomers would shrink up and disappear if I forcefed them a tube of Preparation-H.

[dalesys]

I've often wondered how many sucktomers would shrink up and disappear if I forcefed them a tube of Preparation-H.

Well, we know that none of said sucktomers *need* Preparation-H...

They're all Perfect A******s!

[Nametag]

Hahahahaha!!


Heard on the intercom when I was working in a different store (same chain):

Porter with a mop to the family planning aisle, porter with a mop.

It was K-Y.

[Sheldonrs]

Dear gawd, Sheldon....

Besides, it's a raw steak, or frozen pack of veggies for swollen eyes. I'm not going to ask where you use other toiletry items. I really don't want to know.

It's actually an old trick. They even used it in the movie "Miss Congeniality".
And yes, it actually DOES work. After all, swelling is swelling, no matter where. lol!!

[Dreamstalker]

Cream, yes. I don't think the pills would do much...

[lordlundar]

Hahahahaha!!


Heard on the intercom when I was working in a different store (same chain):

Porter with a mop to the family planning aisle, porter with a mop.

It was K-Y.

EWWWWW!!!!!!

And yet, appropriate.

[r2cagle]

Were these the foil wrapped suppositories?


Wait never mind. I can't believe I'm dwelling on this.... somebody, hand me brain-bleach quick!

[Tama]

How in the heck does the pill work around your eyes? How the heck are you supposed to...oh nevermind. :P

[Marmalady]

Makes a change though - usually the customers just tell US to stick it..............

[LillFilly]

Hmm, yep, it DOES make you wonder.

Also, a moist black tea bag under your eyes helps reduce puffiness. Makes your skin feel really nice too!

[RetailWorkhorse]

How in the heck does the pill work around your eyes? How the heck are you supposed to...oh nevermind. :P

I'm guessing they're gel-caps, at which point you take a sharp knife (or a razor blade), slide a hole into the plastic and squeeze the goo out.

The powder pills (ANY powder pills...) don't work as well (And straight ginkgo in its powdered form is disgusting, by the way. Just so ya know).