Funny police blotter edits

[Jay 2K Winger]

At least it's not the shrubs. We have one plant in one of our courtyards...twice in the same week we had to go put it out. No clue why it was on fire either time.

Cigarette ash? Twice at the wholesale club we've had mulch fires from people who toss their cigarette ash or their butts into the mulch outside our store. One time the smoke got under the foundation of the building and inside, prompting us to pull the fire alarm, evacuate the store, and wait for the fire department to investigate and put it out.

The second time, the mulch continued to smolder, and took two separate water-dumps and stomp-and-grinds with my shoes to put it out.

[dalesys]

... a good slap check to a tender region could end your streaking very quickly.

Or put a real glowing end to the streak.

[BaristaTrav]

Lacrosse, rugby.. ahh what's the difference. (Kidding.. I played lax). On that note, I would think it infinitely more dangerous to streak during a lacrosse game. Sure, the rugby players might tackle you, but lacrosse players wield large aluminum sticks.. a good slap check to a tender region could end your streaking very quickly.

[Shangri-laschild]

2. Police received a report that a vehicle had paint scraped off of the right side of the car and (while it) was parked in the garage (I hope it's not illegal to have a scratched up car parked in a garage)

I would guess that a passerby saw the scratches and called it in. We get that sometimes and have to go check it out, especially when there's a broken window. The majority of the time, it was like that when they drove to school though.

15. a small fire was reported in a microwave (toaster) oven (yeah...gummy bears in toaster ovens=fire. That's the only reason I noticed that typo...)

At least it's not the shrubs. We have one plant in one of our courtyards...twice in the same week we had to go put it out. No clue why it was on fire either time.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

I kinda think a college isn't a college if it hasn't had at least a few police blotter items that make you go hmmmm.

There were a couple of those when I was on my college newspaper's staff. I can't remember most of the details since I've long since thrown those issues out, but I seem to recall a low-speed collision between two campus security cars.

ETA: I seem to recall some sort of a parody newspaper web site with funny police blotter items, but I can't remember the name of it. Can anybody help me out here? *doe eyes*

[flutes_and_fabric]

oh no! it's a SPOON! whatever shall we do?

Yeah, that was one of my favorite ones. Also, it was found in the dining hall bathroom so more than likely someone made a pitstop and just forgot it.

[Andara Bledin]

oh no! it's a SPOON! whatever shall we do?

Hey, teaspoons are a controlled item! They have to card for them, don'chaknow?

^-.-^

[chainedbarista]

7. it was reported that a spoon was found in a men’s restroom

oh no! it's a SPOON! whatever shall we do?

[Soulstealer]

And then there was the domestic dispute caused when a woman came home and got mad at her husband cause she caught him wearing her favourite dress and best fishnet stockings.....

I know I'd be mad in her place. He probably stretched out those stockings and now she can't wear them. I just hope the dress was okay.

[flutes_and_fabric]

I'm currently editing a book for a friend that is 330 pages of mixed tenses. 330 PAGES. Oh, not to mention that he likes to write in bad "King James English" and rarely uses anything more than a comma.

*headdesk*

Saw your thread, and I just have to say that I am so sorry for you. Editing this nearly killed my soul; I think I would give up after the first chapter on that one.

The town I lived in in Wales did that, but it was mostly just what was stolen off clotheslines, and that sort of thing - not terribly interesting. However, our town in Washington did it too, and I absolutely loved reading that section. My favourites were the guy who had the cops called to pick him up in the grocery store - he was obviously intoxicated, but no one called for ages cause he was just quietly having a serious conversation with all the stuffed animals on a shelf. No on called til he hit the point he couldn't hold a bottle without dropping and breaking it.

And then there was the domestic dispute caused when a woman came home and got mad at her husband cause she caught him wearing her favourite dress and best fishnet stockings.....

Hehe, what I love is that the paper specifically states that this section represents the crimes committed in and around the campus, and then half of what they write aren't even crimes. I didn't post too many of those, but they're there.

[Merriweather]

Some of those "stupid" ones sound like they came from the police report in the paper for the neighboring rural county. Very little goes on over there, so they print every little thing,

The town I lived in in Wales did that, but it was mostly just what was stolen off clotheslines, and that sort of thing - not terribly interesting. However, our town in Washington did it too, and I absolutely loved reading that section. My favourites were the guy who had the cops called to pick him up in the grocery store - he was obviously intoxicated, but no one called for ages cause he was just quietly having a serious conversation with all the stuffed animals on a shelf. No on called til he hit the point he couldn't hold a bottle without dropping and breaking it.

And then there was the domestic dispute caused when a woman came home and got mad at her husband cause she caught him wearing her favourite dress and best fishnet stockings.....

[MadMike]

Who would a) answer a payphone?

You'd be surprised. Back in the early 80s, shortly after my parents split up, we moved into an apartment that was across the street from a store. There was a pay phone in front of the store, and my friend and I spent a day calling the thing when people were near it, and insulting the if they answered it. Surprisingly, most people did answer it.

[flutes_and_fabric]

I know I frequently feel like a prisoner! (Check my "title.")

haha, nice. In the older buildings some of the offices look like prisons.

[Andara Bledin]

Upon investigation, vehicle was found to be a study-abroad student from Cybertron.

*snrk* Nice.

Some people in our dorm used to have one of those slingshots that could fire stuff a significant distance. We used to hit people with water balloons using it.

You ever been hit by a balloon launched from one of those?

Yeah, I about marched around the lake to beat the shit out of the guys manning that thing. >.<

^-.-^

[mikoyan29]

Some people in our dorm used to have one of those slingshots that could fire stuff a significant distance. We used to hit people with water balloons using it. The best part was there was a pay phone in front of the dorm and we would call it and pelt the person as they answered. Who would a) answer a payphone? b) not notice the water all around it.