The Lumber Yard Stories, week 2

[draftermatt]

Thankfully only two worth posting about. I'm praying I never need an "epic" marker, but I'm not hopeful.

Wow man, it’s not that far

Slow Sunday afternoon, a rather rotund man waddles (seriously) up to myself and two co-workers, he’s looking for closet doors. We point him towards the correct aisle (back the way he came from).

RM “How in the hell far of a walk is that, good grief….” He trailed off as he waddled away.

CW “He’ll make it there, nice and slow, nice and slow”

Seriously, if you’re that fat that turning around and walking causes you to rant at store employees, maybe it’s time to take a hard look at your life. You know that or try and lose some weight so you don’t drop dead of a heart attack.

Yes I’m being serious, you confuse me

A man calls in asking if we have any 1” thick plywood, and how much does it cost? I tell him I don’t believe we have anything thicker than ¾” but hold on while I look.

So I look, and we don’t, I tell him that, he can’t believe it, oh well sir disappointments abound in life.

Then we have this fun conversation. (Please note wood is not the size it says it is. If you buy a 2x4, it’s actually 1.5”x3.5”)

SC: What’s your price on 2 by 8’s?
Me: We don’t have any plywood 2 foot by 8 foot
SC: You don’t have 2 by 8’s?
Me: No sir, no plywood 2 foot by 8 foot
SC: I don’t need plywood, I need a 1 ½” by 8!
Me: I see, sorry about that, ok, let me get that for you, a 2x8, what length?
SC: Not a 2 by 8, a 1 1/2” 8 foot long!
Me: Ok, so 1 ½” square by 8 feet long, no problem
SC: No a 1 ½ by 8 inches (note this is a 2 by 8)
Me: I see, what length?
SC: 8 foot
Me: Treated or not?
SC: Regular wood

It went fine from there, but hey, we started with plywood, so I figured you were still asking. And trying to get smart about the 1 ½ inches, bah. I was so tempted to say, well sir I don’t have 1 ½ by 8, I have a 1 ½” by 7 ½” that should work, but decided not to.

[Magpie]

Seriously, if you’re that fat that turning around and walking causes you to rant at store employees, maybe it’s time to take a hard look at your life. You know that or try and lose some weight so you don’t drop dead of a heart attack.

Or, at the very least, reconsider if you're physically able to do your own work around the house. This scares me.

As for the other guy, I thought my husband was bad for going and measuring exactly how big all the different sizes were before making our bed.

[roguesqd]

after my manager was told by a gentleman that his light fixture was defective becasue.......everytime he stuck his finger in it, it shocked him, I naturally assume most people have lost their minds or are insane untill they prove otherwise

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

after my manager was told by a gentleman that his light fixture was defective becasue.......everytime he stuck his finger in it, it shocked him, I naturally assume most people have lost their minds or are insane untill they prove otherwise

And right here is where I'd be telling that guy to test the electrical outlet to make sure that wasn't the culprit--by sticking a fork in the slot.