Don't Piss Off the Artist

So, I have hit a depression induced dry spell with my artwork. No drawing, painting, scarification, scabbing, carving, or sculpting. Poop.

Instead of killing people to release the animal tendencies I have, I have begun knitting.

This is a bit different from the pizza stories, since it involved my self-made art business.

On the Internet!

Me: Hey, I have your finished work here, but I am afraid I might be unable to do the 2nd picture you requested, so I would like to offer you $15 off the finished product of the first picture. How's that sound?
Him: WHAT!??! Why??
Me: I'm having life problems right now, and it renders me unable to draw like I normally do. I just don't want to offer you a half-arsed version of something I don't feel is up to snuff.
Him: That's ridiculous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 I paid you for the concept art! Why aren't you going to finish it!??! You fucking SUXXOR
Me: Look, if you don't want either of them, it's fine. I have to go to work now, would you like me to meet you after I get out?

So I meet him at McD's.

Me: All right. I have here *folder with plastic cover* the finished piece and here *folder with a sticker* the concepts. You can take finished piece for the discounted $35, or I will walk off with my other fees, and retain copyrights on everything I made and legally disallow you usage of the scanned images.
Him: I-- wha... but they're my characters--
Me: And it's my drawing.
Him: ..but, you.. you're JUST A BITCH *throws ketchup packets at me*

My left eye started hurting, which meant I was angry and it was twitching. So, to keep from causing a scene, I bent over the table to his face.

Me: You listen to me, you little shit.
Him: OH MY GAWD YOU DID NOT--
Me: I did. You are going to take option A or B. One gets you out of here happy, the other get you out of here happy. Which one is it.
Him: Both are the same thing!!!
Me: Pay for the first, and take the concept, or take your ass off. Pick one. Quit causing a scene, because I am NOT in the mood. Everyone here is just going to see a 6' man picking on a 5' girl, stop squealing.
Him: YOU DAMN CUNT, IT'S MY DRAWING IDEAS!!

He pours his drink in my face. I stand up, open up the folders and hold the drawings out to him. He gets a cocky look on his face.

Him: Good, now *he grabs the other end* I am taking my things and I going home.

I just stand there holding on to them. Eventually he tried tugging, and then got both hands on the paper trying to get it from me.

Me: OOPS.

I push down and the papers land in his Powerade/Mountain Dew mix.

Me: Looks like you ruined both options!

I rip up the pieces of paper, and throw them in the garbage, leaving him standing there while a nice employee cleans up his mess.

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