Would you like me to floss your teeth for you as well?

[customersruinmylife]

I was working a nice Sunday afternoon shift in the kitchen. I hate Sunday afternoons, mainly because we serve roasts and they take forever. We were also quite busy.

A co-worker walked into the kitchen with a roast. She looked extremelly embarassed.

CW: Please don't be mad at me...
Me: What's wrong?
CW: I'm only passing this on, don't shoot the messenger, please.
Me: What is wrong with the food?
CW: He is complaining that we haven't cut his food for him.
Me/Everyone else in the kitchen: WHAT?!?!
CW: He said "I don't cut my own food. You have to do it."
Me: Was this a child? Or someone with broken arms?
CW: Nope, just a normal, stuck up, snobbish man. He actually turned his nose up at the meal.
Me: Well can't someone else at his table cut his food?
CW: He is on his own.
Me: Well, I am not cutting that food.

CW looked around the kitchen. Every member of staff refused to cut it.

CW: Well I'm not cutting it!
Me: Well I guess he's going to have to cut it for himself then!

CW, despite my protests, went into the corner and cut up the meal. I handed her a napkin. She walked out the kitchen, very irritated.

CW: Here is your cut up meal.
SC: At last! I don't see why I should have to cut up my meal. It isn't my job after all!
CW: Would you like me to feed you it as well? Or perhaps wipe your mouth when you have finished?
SC: Uhhhh....no thanks.

Yep, the sarcasm went straight over his head.

[Midnight_Angel]

Ah, a fine example of Sarchasm

the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it


(SCNR)

[TonyDonuts]

"Would you like me to floss your teeth for you as well?"

Anybody want to lay odds on somebody complaining that customersruinmylife's pub doesn't offer that very service?

Oooh, and bonus points if that complaint includes the phrase, "this place was a lot nicer when you did!"

[Magpie]

Was said customer at least from a culture where the food generally doesn't need to be cut up when it's served?

(Why do I ask these questions? I know that the answer generally doesn't restore any jot of faith in humanity.)

[RayvenQ]

I'd have been sorely tempted to put his meal through a blender, afterall, that does cut it up

And when the inevitable complaint about it being cut up too much came, I'm simply say "Thats what you get when you ask someone else to cut up your food"

[Exaspera]

Where is his MOTHER????? That's her job! </sarcasm

[Angry_Hippie]

Grrrrr I hate snobby people that act bigger than they are. Are we supposed to be impressed he doesn't cut his own food? (I've never seen a butler cut an able bodied adults food for them lol)
Why? Because cutting a steak or a roast into bite sized pieces all at once makes it SUCK! Proper etiquette dictates that one cuts small pieces off a steak or roast on a per bite basis because this means there is a smaller exposed surface area allowing the meat to retain heat. Bite sized pieces cool FAST!.
My dad cuts his food all at once and he looks way out of place in a restaurant.
When you see ads for a high end restaurant have you ever seen a plated steak or roast already cut into bite sized squares lol? For some dishes slices are part of the deal, but little child bites never.

End rant!

[Exaspera]

And when did he come to the delusion/conclusion that it was a waitperson's job to cut up his food?

[chainedbarista]

wow, just when i thought they couldn't come up with any complaint more asinine, they exceed my already low expectations.

cw should have snidely told him that it's his mommy's job to cut his food, not hers.

[AyreBiskits]

i would have asked him if he wanted me to feed him like a baby bird and chew it for him too, to save the wear and tear on his teeth.

why can't we just smack the stupid out of some people?

[Sarlon]

My mom has trouble with cutting things up when we go out to eat. The place we normally go to has AWSOME waitress that one day saw me struggling to cut up mom's calzone because of the flimsy knife and fork and came up to our table and asked if she could take it into the back and cut it up for her.

The next few times we came back and got her she always remebers our order, our drinks, and even remembers to cut up mom's half.

Are we sucky for asking for it to be cut up even though I'm capable of cutting it for her?

[Exaspera]

My mom has trouble with cutting things up when we go out to eat. The place we normally go to has AWSOME waitress that one day saw me struggling to cut up mom's calzone because of the flimsy knife and fork and came up to our table and asked if she could take it into the back and cut it up for her.

The next few times we came back and got her she always remebers our order, our drinks, and even remembers to cut up mom's half.

Are we sucky for asking for it to be cut up even though I'm capable of cutting it for her?

I don't think so. What a nice server! Tip very well!

[AyreBiskits]

there's a difference in the waitress asking the customer if they would like help in cutting up some food and a twit-brained EW thinking his meal should already be cut for them without having to ask for it.

and for the waitress to remember whenever your mom comes in to eat, to go ahead and provide that service, is truly an awesome waitress. i hope she was suitably rewarded for such service.

[chainedbarista]

in sarlon's case, that's understandable and legit; this man, however, was ew extreme. i'm wondering if he needs help in the bathroom as well.

[Sarlon]

first time she did it for us....nearly 50% tip.....lunch with 2 drinks and a 2 topping calzone is like less then $11....and trust me she gets well tipped every time we get her.