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  • Bah Humbug Blues (long)

    Okay, I’m FINALLY able to sit down for a bit and vent. These last three weeks have been hell, and are the reason that I haven’t been on the boards much.

    The district I work in has 3 showrooms and 6 people when we are staffed. We have 3 managers and 3 new-hires. The two other managers decided to take a few weeks vacation for the holidays, as they haven’t been able to for years. All fine and dandy, until it leaves 4 people trying to keep 3 showrooms open 7 days a week. We’re getting OT but that leaves me as the most senior person in the district. (I’ve been here for two years)

    I’m the acting district manager directly supervising three showrooms and have my hands in the cookie jar of six others. Had some beautiful SCs, some generic, some specific.

    Now, everyone wants furniture before the holidays. The problem is, don’t come in and expect to get a sofabed for the company three days before Christmas and expect us to get you one! In my immediate district, our trucks have been full since the first week in December. This was just not good enough for many SCs. Cue this, a nearly infinite number of times.

    SC: I love this, do you have it in stock?
    Me: When do you need it by?
    SC: We have company coming for Christmas and we need a sofabed.
    Me: The only way you can get it by then is to pick it up from the facility 200 miles away, all of our trucks are completely full until the first week of the new year.
    SC: This is ridiculous! Etc. etc.

    Now I expected this – but I had people coming in on Christmas weekend that wanted furniture before Christmas. I got into the habit of asking people right off the bat if they needed something by Christmas. If they said they did, I had to inform them that it wasn’t possible. This in itself saved a lot of headaches, because it’s always better for both the salesman and the customer if it can be established quickly if we can meet their needs or not. Customers would walk away annoyed at best, or throw a tantrum at worst.

    Cut to a few days before Christmas. There are three instances that stand out in my mind, the culmination of A LOT of suckitude.

    Situation the First: I don’t speak to managers (or anyone else, for that matter)

    This is happening at my own showroom. A guy ordered two chairs from us back in September and didn’t want to pay the $200 delivery charge (the guy lives WAY outside of our area) so he didn’t pay it. He wanted to pick it up at our warehouse. Okay, not a problem.

    He didn’t want to talk to anyone at the showroom regarding picking the furniture up. We have to schedule a pickup the same as any other delivery, and of course the warehouse isn’t going to be able to do anything about it. Nobody made the reservation in the computer, so the warehouse doesn’t know.

    I took over as the manager at that showroom around a month ago, so this was still going on. He called and talked to me, furious that the warehouse wasn’t knowing what was going on. It took me a good ten minutes to convince him that yes, the fact that I was the most senior person in the district at the time would allow me to fix his problem (taking 15 seconds in the computer). So finally, after a bunch of circling around, I schedule the guy for a pickup at the warehouse.

    Two weeks later, I’m at a different showroom and get a frantic call from the worker at mine. The guy showed up at the door, demanding and screaming that we deliver the piece for free, and that he wants it on Christmas eve. My coworker asks him point blank why he didn’t pick up the piece when HE had scheduled it through us – and his verbatim quote was “It doesn’t matter, I want it before Christmas!” My coworker explains he has three options: Pick it up himself, wait until after the first of the year to get it delivered and pay the shipping, or cancel and we’ll give him a full refund. He doesn’t need either of these options. Coworker says that he will pass the info on to me so I can work out a solution with him: Customer says “I don’t talk to managers. I only talk to owners.”

    Keep in mind that a) We’re a national company and the owner is on vacation for a month and wouldn’t give two shits anyway, and b) If he had just wanted to talk to me the entire situation could be resolved in five minutes, and that allows four for customer threats and screaming, maybe 4 and a half if the computer doesn't freeze.

    Seeing as how he doesn’t talk to managers, I haven’t been bothered to call him back. He said specifically he doesn’t want to speak to me. So he calls all the other showrooms and wants to speak to someone higher up. Guess who that is, right now? No wonder he doesn’t get anything done if he refuses to talk to managers.

    I don’t know what to do with this guy. I’m tempted to just cancel his order completely, refund him all his money, and not give him any other options. This is just the type of guy that no matter what you do, you can’t please. At least, if we give him his money back in full, any legal case he threatens will be thrown out.

    Situation the Second: I’m going to sue!

    This was at a different showroom. Drivers went to deliver a piece, and couldn’t find the address. Called the customer and she gave them instructions. Drivers got to her gate, and called her to get her to buzz them in. No answer. Corporate calls her. No answer. Showroom calls her. No answer. Drivers wait a few more minutes, try a few more times, then turn around and leave.

    She calls me, and the first words out of her mouth are “I’m going to file a lawsuit and there’s nothing that can be done about that.” Okay…well, after lots of talk, she said she had her phone on all day, and that the drivers never showed up. So it’s our word against hers…and we have three pieces of documentation that say we tried to call her and there was no answer. Maybe she was just in an area with bad reception.

    So she ends with “I’m marching down to the courthouse first thing on Monday morning and filing suit against you for as much as I can get!” Yeah, you do that lady.

    She actually DID go to the courthouse on Monday, which was, of course, closed for Christmas. Called me back yesterday and chewed me out for not letting her know that the court was closed! I asked her literally how was it possibly my fault or my responsibility that the court was closed? She hung up, and I haven’t heard from her since.

    Situation the Third: We’re so unprepared!

    I worked on the 23rd, and had someone come in that wanted a sofabed that night. He wanted me to sell him the model off the floor (a big no-no) and was then furious when we couldn’t do it.

    SC: This is the worst customer service I’ve ever heard of!
    Me: How long have you known that your company was going to be coming?
    SC: A few weeks, why?
    Me: Well, most people didn’t wait until the last minute to get items as large as furniture. You might be able to find an air mattress at Target or Walmart, but even they ran out about a week ago.
    SC: If your trucks have been full for three weeks then you must be horribly ill-prepared!
    Me: Sir, you’re shopping the day before Christmas Eve for a piece of furniture you’ve known you would need for a few weeks, and I’m the one who’s unprepared?

    Guy turned around and walked out without another word, his face a scowl and a very deep red. Maybe it was harsh, but I had a fever of 102, I hadn’t kept any food down for almost three days, and had that conversation a dozen times that day.

    I finally told all the showrooms in the district to put a sign on the door that said there would be no delivery until after January 4th. I am now their new god.

    Conclusion: If they ever offer me a district manager job, no amount of pay-raise could make me accept. And I have another three days of this…
    "Time shall help me face my painful memories with indifference, and with more of it, I won't feel the need to face them at all..."

  • #2
    Oh, man. Where to start?

    First situation-- Refund his money. Get rid of him.

    Second-- That's priceless, the woman going to the courthouse on Christmas, then blasting you for it.

    Third-- Good for you, telling him that HE'S the one who's unprepared!!!!!!!
    Unseen but seeing
    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
    3rd shift needs love, too
    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

    Comment


    • #3
      Yup, I agree, #1, refund him, get rid of him.

      #2, well what I do when SC's threaten to sue me or my company is say "Since you have threatened legal action I am afraid I am no longer able to speak to you about this matter per company policy. I have to direct you to our legal department, do you need that number?" Which is, of course, a lie, but usually THEN they will actually try and talk to you and work things out.

      #3, Kudos to turning the tables on him. But I bet he only left cause he heard what you did to ghetto superstar.
      If watermelons are made up of water, what are kumquats made up of?
      www.myspace.com/rentalracer

      Comment


      • #4
        Really good on ya for this. You can come up with these witty retorts with a fever? No way in hell am I getting into a battle of wits with you when you're healthy.
        No good news is good bad news

        Comment


        • #5
          For Situation the First, two words: Certified Letter. Inform this clown (in your best Professionalese, of course) that you have offered to assist him (provide dates & times), the other employees have offered (more dates & times), and his lack of further communication with you appears to indicate that he no longer wishes to complete the sales transaction, in which case you will cancel it, refund him any & all monies paid to date, and return the inventory to stock. This way you have a clear paper trail depicting your beautifully chopping the legal legs out from under him like so much cord wood.

          And welcome back, Kus.
          Not all who wander are lost.

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          • #6
            I love the second one - complain to you about the delivery and then has the time on Christmas to go to the courthouse and they aren't open and then complain to you some more!
            "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

            Comment


            • #7
              Great stories.

              As someone who knows many lawyers and a (very) little something about the law, I'm always amused when a SC threatens to sue.

              Most of the time, they don't have a cause of action that makes their beef an issue amenable to resolution via the courts. Being pissed-off that the store isn't giving you what you demand is not a cause of action.

              Second, they don't seem to realize that each party to a lawsuit is responsible for its own costs. Yes, the judge may order the loser to pay the winner's costs, but that's usually not the case. (There's a reason most business don't bother litigating disputes where the dollar amount is less than $10,000 or so.)

              And third, even if the SC's so pissed that he'll pay what it costs to sue, finding a lawyer may be a problem. Lawyers know that wasting a court's time with frivolous cases risks pissing off the judge -- who may sanction the lawyer because he's the one who should have known that the client's idiotic case was going to get tossed out the second the judge read their complaint.

              That's why you're free to laugh at SC who threaten to sue. They're morons too stupid to realize they don't have a case. Or morons too stupid to realize that they have to pay their lawyer is going to charge them at least $250/hour and that it'll take at least ten hours for the lawyer to draw up the papers to be filed at the courthouse.

              Yeah, SC can do everything themselves in small claims/pro se court. But frothing at the mouth as they curse the store manager for not giving them what they want isn't likely to impress a judge that they're the injured party here.

              And if the person threatening to sue claims to be a lawyer, my lawyer friends say the correct response is to threaten to report them to the county bar association for ethical violations. (Running around threatening to sue everyone who doesn't do as you demand brings the legal profession into disrepute and that's an ethical violation.) Of course, the bar associaiton isn't likely to do anything, but responding to their threats with a threat of your own signals you're not a dimwit who is easily intimidated.

              Keep posting -- these stories are great.

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