How to make an irate customer even more irate (only when they deserve it)

[Lace Neil Singer]

Be disgustingly nice. No matter how rude and moronic they act just smile and talk in the most sickeningly sweet voice as possible. They just lose it when they don't upset you or get a rise out of you. And what can they do complain that you were too nice.

Now, that's my fave ever way of annoying SCs. Always works, and like you said, they can hardly go complaining "She was nice! And polite, and sweet!" to Customer Services.

I will also add... repetition. If an SC is demanding you do something that's against policy, just repeat said policy over and over again in a sweet robotic way. Trust me, it irritates them to death and yet, they can't do anything about it!

[greensinestro]

Be disgustingly nice. No matter how rude and moronic they act just smile and talk in the most sickeningly sweet voice as possible. They just lose it when they don't upset you or get a rise out of you. And what can they do complain that you were too nice.

Oh, I know that's right. I've had calls turn into supervisor calls because I was being nice and polite to them, and they will tell me, "I am not going to be nice about this and do not appreciate your nice behavior towards me" They know they're being rude and ugly. So, do these people think that when they get my supervisor, he or she is going to be rude an ugly, too? I have yet to work for one that does that.

[Arachne]

Depends - do you want to be better than them or sink to their level?

Rapscallion

Thank you for saying this. It's what I was thinking, but I haven't been around here long enough to stick my neck that far out.

There have been a lot of times when I've wanted to intentionally anger SCs with snarky remarks because they honestly deserved to have their days ruined, but the thing that always stops me is that if I let them goad me into doing something I normally would find beneath me, they've managed to turn me into the worthless peasant that they think I am.

Regardless, I sometimes get the feeling that having me remain calm and adult and address them like they're petulant children who need to be soothed causes more irritation than sinking to their level ever would. I look a lot younger than I am -- most people think I'm just starting college -- and most of my customers are in their fourties or older, and are already a little uncomfortable with needing to seek the expert advice of someone who could be their daughter or granddaughter.

I think a lot of these people are used to using their antics to draw interactions with others down to their level, and when their antics do nothing but expose how low their level is (because someone else refuses to sink to it), I think it can be upsetting to them.

Of course, this won't apply to all SCs. Not everyone is an older, fairly affluent lady who really ought to know better.

[iradney]

My opinion has always been that when they get you to sink to their level, they've won. Unfortunately, with some SC's, that's the only way you can get through to them.
Still, nothing gives me greater joy (and giggles after the fact) is when the SC is getting more and more irate, with bulging temple-veins and spittle flying forth from his mouth; and I'm calm and polite and unruffled. They get so mad!

[Fera Festiva]

Yes, I have also noticed that about college professors. If they have PHd's, what exactly are they doctors of, and why are they teaching college instead of being doctors?

To add to/elaborate on what trunks2k and ChanceNCinny said (hi guys! ) - having a PhD is different to being a medical doctor. It's the academic qualification you get after completing a bachelor's degree and then (usually) a master's. If you're interested in conducting research in any field, and you want to be taken seriously, then you need a PhD. Most people who take this route end up working for a university, conducting research there, and also teaching, which is part of the job.

I want to eventually conduct research in a particular area, so I'm reading for a master's degree right now while I work my customer service job. With any luck I'll be able to read for a PhD one day. I don't think I'm better than anyone, it's just that that's what I want to do.

I'm not trying to be snarky or anything, or start a fight - I hope it didn't come out that way. It just bothers me a little when I hear people assuming that academics don't work hard or aren't "real" doctors. (For the record, there are plenty that this is true of, but it's not true of everyone.)

Back on topic, though, I agree that a great way to bother rude people is to be extremely nice to them. I take extreme satisfaction in calling out, "Bye-bye then! Have a nice day!" to someone who's just told me to go f**k myself. Yeah, it's childish.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

Well, I always say "let the OTHER guy be the asshole."

[greensinestro]

Whenever I deal with the "Dr. Lawyer Type" I ask point blank what that has to do with anything relative to our transaction. Or I say "Oh good, surely if you are a Dr./Lawyer you can understand what I am telling you. I was concerned that I was going to have to waste a lot of your time attempting to explain it." Of course, this is only in SC situations.

Yes, I have used that line only a couple of times, but only because it was warranted. It turned out this one "doctor" was actually a philosopher, not anyone that dealt with medical science. Hey, I know how to read as well!

[PW_Elle]

Irate customers

I find that most patients get irate because their information hasn't change since their last visit...

I have this exact problem. Our office here is in the Stone Age with some of our records keeping. When people call in to have a dumpster serviced, we have to get all their info. The can number, the address the dumpster is at, the company or person who it's signed out to, etc. We have a form we write this all down on. We do this all by hand. However, customers call in and they EXPECT that we have all the information in front of us, and get mad when we ask for it.

Then, my favorite is those people who don't know the can number, don't know the size of the container, and can't tell me who the can is signed out to. They ask if we can look it up by address. Well, I could, but it might take me a few hours. Our dumpsters are filed by can number/size, and then by who it's signed out to. People get so irate when we tell them we HAVE to have the can number to service the can. People will call in and give the most ridiculous excuses, like "well, I'm not home, I'm two hours away but the can needs to be emptied ASAP so the construction guys can put more into it." Well, I might just be a CSR, but if I put two and two together - you have a phone, guys are working at the site, and I'm sure they could get the number off the side of the dumpster. And if you don't have their phone number, perhaps you shouldn't be allowing them to work on your house...

Elle

[ladylabyrinth]

Parent-Child-Adult

Basically what I'm seeing here (feel free to correct me if I'm completely off base) is the question whether or not it's better to react to an SC's "Child" with our "Adult" or our "Parent" (see here for what I'm babbling about). Being polite and sweet and nothing but nice to them, depending on the situation, can be seen as either Adult or Parent. It is really dependent on the context. But an interesting idea. Me, I like the whole "smilingly polite indifference" approach. But only with raging SC's for whom reason and logic are not options.

[ToasterQueen]

Personally, since I'm a sales assistant for a components company, the ones I deal with are the ones who want special treatment, custom parts, accounting problems overlooked, lead times shortened, specific bin selections...I do it all.

My favorite way of dealing with these customers is slowly and carefully weaving them into a trap of circular logic where I put them in the position that they are imposing on us...and then when the trap is complete, strike like a smiling, affectionate, and sadistic little cobra.

Example.

SC - Customer
Me - THE JAMINATRIX

SC: Why haven't we received parts yet?
Me: It looks like you have a 37 day past due invoice.
SC: But we need the parts to make our product!
Me: I understand that, sir, but unfortunately we cannot release your shipment until your outstanding invoice is taken care of.
SC: I fail to see why you can't do something for me. We have been waiting for a MONTH for these parts!
Me: You are ordering a nonstandard color rank. The parts had to be ordered from Japan, as it is not something we keep in stock.
SC: Well, if I don't have product the end user is not going to be able to pay me, and I won't have any money to pay the invoice.
Me: Sir, why not have the end customer pay for the parts?
SC: Because they won't pay me!!
Me: Are you currently supplying them?
SC: No, because they haven't paid!
Me: ....Believe me, I understand the position you are in, sir.
SC: ...........
Me: ...........
SC: Let me talk to my accounting department. <_<


It's priceless. It's convoluted, but if you can pull it off, it's like an ego high for the rest of the day.