We DON'T. HAVE. IT.

[Boggles]

My mum's standard reply is "well, they don't make diamonds as big as lumps of coal!"

Admittedly we usually follow that up with a dig about poison coming in small bottles!

[tollbaby]

We actually bought my sister-in-law (who's 5') a t-shirt that says "I'm not small, I'm fun-sized!" We razz her a bit sometimes, and one day... my mom had cans and bottles of diet coke in the fridge and when I went to hand my SIL a can, she said, "no, I want a bottle"... and my son (who is 11 and 4'9") said, "I'm sorry, the bottles are for big people." Yeah... I think he learned really fast where the line between good-natured teasing and obnoxious comments is drawn LOL

I call my daughter (8yo, 4'2") "short" names such as "peanut," "pint-size" or "midget" - she likes them coming from me, but if anybody else tries to call her that, she goes ballistic and they never try it again LOL

[r2cagle]

'Man, you're short'

'Really? Don't tell my boss that, he's scared of me.'
'Still? I've got to get a bigger step-stool!'
'I know, I took a sip too much of that shrink potion.'
'And I'm good looking too!'
'Hmm. Learn something new every day.'
'I know, but wearing my stilts is a safety violation... go figure.'
'Yep, trying out my new legs today'
'I'm always the last one to know it's raining, too!'

I'm sure I could think of more, but those shouldn't get you into trouble, unless you're growling at the SC's.
And for the record, I'm 5' 2", so I've had alot of short jokes thrown at me too.

[ThirdGenRetail]

Somehow I missed out on getting the short jokes(Another 5'2" person here)... But then, there's a coworker who's shorter than ME... And I saw our former mayor the other day... I always imagined her like a human version of Gussy Mouseheimer(The rich snooty mouse from An American Tail)... She's shorter than me o.o; Whod'a thought...

I DO get a lot of people thinking I'm 14 or so. I had one guy at a car dealership think I was 17, because I was wearing my "If found, return to pub" St. Patty's t-shirt... Whipped out my ID to say, yes, I'm 23 14 is about the most common, though.

Not as irritating, but I get a lot of people asking if I got into poison ivy, too. I wish.. Nope, those huge white and red patches on my skin is psoriasis, and it's not about to go away any time soon(See why I wish it was poison ivy... )

[Athaelia]

I'm 4'9. Trust me, I know how you feel!

My last job was at a sports bar, and not only would men comment on my height, but also my bra size! It'd piss me off to no end at first, but it was easier to deal with it once I found out WHY these people feel so comfortable commenting on strangers' bodies to them.

I've attempted to study the minds of these offenders, and noticed that they usually either---

1. Think you're attractive. They desperately wanna break the ice, so when they talk to you, they say something stupid, and FAIL.

2. Are jealous of you. I've noticed others, mostly girls may point out your height to you, because she's insecure may see you as a threat, (her boyfriend may be there) Another FAIL.

3. Are flawed and insecure. They want to try and 'pick on' you, and because they can't locate anything to make fun of, they engage in the aforementioned behavior.

4. They think they are a comedian. These people think everything that comes out of their mouths is side-splitting hilarity.

Remember, you can't change the dumbass stuff that will run out of people's mouths, but you can change your reaction to it. Instead of getting annoyed, feel embarrased for the offender--he's obviously too dumb to realize he's not funny...and he's insecure to boot! (Compensating, for something of his being short, perhaps?)

[StanFlouride]

In response so any painfully rude comment or observation I this (changing the tone can make either it humorous or sarcastic)
"Picked right up on that did you? Boy, nothing gets by you now does it?"