Tired of this...

[octopi23]

Normally I am not a fan of lying, but this does sound like a sound strat. A library is a good safe place to work with a ladder of opportunity, whereas this park sounds pretty dead end.



I think you may have motivated me to pick up the classifieds again...

Remember, at the end of the day it is your life, and you are the one that has to work at whatever job you get or keep. I could see your parents having issues if you were leaving the library to work someplace that paid fifty cents an hour less that is an extra 15 minutes away, but to have issues with the reverse is just silly.

I seem to be stuck at this point. I don't have a conversation point to bring up. I'm trying the strategy on them where I tell of all the horror stories, how I get dumped on by the rain whenever it's raining outside, how I have to wait 45 minutes or more to get a bathroom break because of managerial inefficiencies, and even something that affects them, how they have to wait in the parking lot because my managers never get me out on time. They aren't taking the hint though, and whenever I push the matter and ask if I can get an int, they tell me that I should just quit if I want to, but they won't let me get a job anywhere else.

[Grrrrrrr]

Just apply! And when yuo get the job say your first job fired you and you did what you had to..

Normally I am not a fan of lying, but this does sound like a sound strat. A library is a good safe place to work with a ladder of opportunity, whereas this park sounds pretty dead end.

DO NOT complain and do nothing about it.

I think you may have motivated me to pick up the classifieds again...

Remember, at the end of the day it is your life, and you are the one that has to work at whatever job you get or keep. I could see your parents having issues if you were leaving the library to work someplace that paid fifty cents an hour less that is an extra 15 minutes away, but to have issues with the reverse is just silly.

[Ben_Who]

I hate to say this, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for the parents to suddenly become "reasonable." Parents can be bewilderingly short-sighted, especially when their offspring seem to be about to make a move into improved conditions without their sanction.

My mother threatened to throw me out of the house and leave me without any tuition THREE TIMES between the ages of 17 and 21. The first time was because I was trying to make a lateral move into improved conditions. Another time I was trying to step up into a higher income.

This was as nothing to the profound contempt that they showed towards any achievement I made that was not in some way sanctioned by them. My mother once yelled at me for about 45 minutes because I hadn't done the dishes on a day when I was down in the dumps about receiving a rejection slip. When I told my father about the income from my first job that wasn't given to me by him, he gave me a long look and then said, "You're gonna starve." My parents vetoed my decision to buy a car...when I was 21 years old. It simply didn't occur to them that I hadn't given them a vote.

At your age, the idea that you might, on your own initiative, work to improve your conditions with neither their interference nor their assistance is a threatening one. The job you seek on your own doesn't have nearly as much value to them as the one they pressured you to get.

If it's any consolation, twenty years later my parents seem to be suffering total amnesia about any of this. Once, when they were bringing up stupid shit I did as a kid, I brought up some stupid shit they did when I was a kid, too. "Gobsmacked" isn't quite the right word for it. Stuff that they did own up to, they seemed stunned that I remembered it. If you get no joy from this experience, at least bear with you the memory so that twenty years from now you can tell them that they forced you to turn down a better-paying, less-abusive position, with better prospects, in a better location, during a gas crisis just because they were too proud and stubborn to admit that it was possible for a sixteen-year-old to have a point.

Love, Who?

[Kogarashi]

First off, Octopi, how close is the library? Is it close enough you could feasibly bike to it?

I would say, wait until you have your DL, then apply and interview anyway. If your parents ask why, say you were "taking initiative." Give them a thoughtful and well-worded explanation (written, if you think they won't give you time to speak) of all the reasons you wished to quit the park and start at the library. Use research about resumes and your chances for advancement at the library if necessary.

I would also highly recommend finding an adult who your parents respect--a teacher, a guidance counselor, a family friend (a successful one) etc.--and getting their input and, hopefully, support. Your parents might be more convinced if a "reasonable adult" presents the same arguments as their "hotheaded teenager."

What's the worst your parents can do if you do switch jobs, especially if you're capable of getting yourself there?

[Tama]

Just apply! And when yuo get the job say your first job fired you and you did what you had to.

Do not stand idly by and let this behavior continue. DO NOT complain and do nothing about it.

[trailerparkmedic]

Hey Octopi, is the library gig year round? I know your parents are being pretty unreasonable but perhaps they would see the value in you keeping a job during the school year, and next summer, and until college... unlike the seasonal employment you're in now.

I also agree with whoever said you should start telling your parents about every SC, in detail. Tell them about being called names. Tell them how you have to do the potty dance nightly. Tell them about the "gift" you got that you mentioned here. Don't whine "I hate my job"--be specific "Today someone didn't like the price for the game so they called me a cunt." They will probably think you are exaggerating, but keep at it. Try it with the more sympathetic parent and see if that gets you anywhere.

I had a terrible relationship with my parents in my teens. Part of it was me, part of it was them. I regret quite a bit of my behavior but I don't regret ANY of the times I stood up for myself. This is a time you need to stand up for yourself.

[octopi23]

The thing about the bathroom breaks is, I have to ask a supervisor to replace my game for me to leave it. Sometimes, I'm in places where the supervisors never go down, so I have to ask another dept's sup to radio to them, and after that, they sometimes come down. But it always takes a long time because there are never more than 2 sups in the area at a time (understaffing) and they are incompetent.

[Pagan]

I am officially not going to apply. My mom slammed on the brakes at 50mph as we were discussing it, threatened to abandon me on the road if I pursued it any further.

WHAT???!!! With all due respect to your parents, that's not "discussing".

, the hours, and the fact I stand outside in 90-degree heat for up to 10 hours on end (given one small break in between) and waiting an hour to get a damn bathroom break.

Excuse this other double post, but I checked the DoL website, and nothing breaks the law, unfortunately.

I believe it is against OSHA regulations to deny access to water and bathroom breaks. And you're a minor, which completely changes the ballgame.

Gee, that would mean you would have to find another job.

Exactly!

[octopi23]

just the one thing that I saw, the fair hires seasonal workers right?

On your CV having a summer job, (list it as such) isn't a problem, people know that places do seasonal jobs and expect them to be short lived. The best thing to do from one of those jobs is simply to get another one as soon as possible.

best of luck Octopi23

My parents are still being hard-asses. I'm going to get my DL, then start complaining at them about gas prices to spur them to let me quit.

[Darkforge]

just the one thing that I saw, the fair hires seasonal workers right?

On your CV having a summer job, (list it as such) isn't a problem, people know that places do seasonal jobs and expect them to be short lived. The best thing to do from one of those jobs is simply to get another one as soon as possible.

best of luck Octopi23

[Magpie]

I think there might be some confusion here as to time sheet vs schedule. The impression I'm getting is that octopi is schedule to 15 minutes after closing, but clocks out 45 minutes later than that. Remember - my generation has never had time sheets. It's all stored electronically. (I lie, I have filled out time sheets. But those aren't what my pay is based on, except for the one place, and they were small enough that they not only had the option of getting a physical cheque, but that was the only way I could get paid).

[octopi23]

Either they're making him work without pay -- which is illegal (note that "voluntarily" working without pay at a job where you normally get paid is still illegal (at least here); you have to explicitly sign up as an Unpaid Intern/Volunteer to legally work without pay) ... or they're paying him for work which has not been recorded -- which is probably illegal, as well.

YMMV by state and locale

I'm getting paid for that extra time. I'm just getting told that I'm going to get out 45 minutes earlier than I really do.

[EricKei]

I am confused by one point you said earlier -- your timesheet shows you clocked out 15 minutes after closing, but are often made to work another 45 minutes after that - and you said you are paid? How?

Either they're making him work without pay -- which is illegal (note that "voluntarily" working without pay at a job where you normally get paid is still illegal (at least here); you have to explicitly sign up as an Unpaid Intern/Volunteer to legally work without pay) ... or they're paying him for work which has not been recorded -- which is probably illegal, as well.

YMMV by state and locale

[Captain Trips]

I am confused by one point you said earlier -- your timesheet shows you clocked out 15 minutes after closing, but are often made to work another 45 minutes after that - and you said you are paid? How? You are paid by what is on your timesheet, and not by where you are at the time. So they are shorting you 45 minutes of pay.

I agree with the others. Quit. Go for the library. And you are 16 - your parents can NOT prevent you from looking for another job, although they can refuse to drive you to it. If the library is close, so what? AND it pays more. AND it looks better on a resume than a carny. And, and, and, ... there are no arguments against your leaving a shit job and going for a good one.

Your parents need to wake up. Perhaps you can get the assistance of someone they respect - a relative, clergy, etc.

[Seshat]

And they wouldn't let me look for another one.

How can they stop you?

See if you have a contact - an uncle, an aunt, a friend of the family, a teacher's friend - in the headhunting industry. Basically, people who look for good people to take jobs for companies.

Have that person talk to your parents.

Or as others have said, just go ahead and do it. Present your parents with a fait accompli.

It may be worth considering talking to family friends, parents of your friends, and relatives who live close by. Primarily because they may well be able to point out the changes in the world to your parents.

One option - not one to take lightly, but a legitimate option - is to move out and live for a couple of years with the family friends/friends' parents/relatives. Like I said, not something to take lightly, but at your age it's something that the legal system will support if you have reason. Requiring you to stay in an abusive work situation is a reason.