bike rentals

[vacation_rentals_suck]

Guest: yea Dave, we would like to rent bikes

Me: ok I will be glad to do that for.

Guest: ok but before you do, I notice a lot of different bike shops and I just dont know which one to choose

Me: well we use XYZ bike shop so thats the only one I can place an order with but if you want to use another one, I can give you the number

Guest: well Dave, thats not really what I want. I want some real insight into the advantages and disadvantages of each bike shop. I'd like you to prepare an excel spreadsheet listing these and I would also like you to present a written argument as to why you feel I should use XYZ bike shop instead of the others.

Me: honestly sir, I dont have time to do that. We are very busy.

Guest: you dont have time to help a customer

Me: I can place a bike order for you

Guest: yea but there are a wide array of options available. You sound like you just want to place the order and be done with me. How do you expect me to use XYZ bike shop when you make no effort to pursuade me?

Me: I dont expect you to use XYZ bike shop. It really doesnt matter to me where you get bikes from

Guest: I dont appreciate that, Dave. That is not a service oriented attitude. I was a business owner for 30 years and I would never treat my customers that way. You have a lot to learn if you are going to work in this business, young man. Well Dave, I have news for you. I am not using XYZ bike shop. AS a matter of fact, I dont think I will use your company again. I feel like I have been completely insulted here. The other girl I talked to was wonderful but you are not one bit accomodating. You know with this economy, you should be thankful you even have a job and you should be doing everything you can to help your customers.

Me: sir, I need to pick up the next call so if you want to place a bike order for XYZ, I will do that for you. If not, have a happy 4th.

Guest: How dare you speak to me that way

Me: sir, I'm sorry I have to go....CLICK

[South Texan]

Guest: ... I'd like you to prepare an excel spreadsheet listing these and I would also like you to present a written argument as to why you feel I should use XYZ bike shop instead of the others.

And that is where this one goes too far over the top.

.

[Jack]

Dave, just to clarify, do people really ask you these things or do you condense the essence of their attitude and request into these unlikely and amusing dialogues?

[MaseMan]

"prepare an excel spreadsheet."

This guy makes renting a couple bikes sound like he is buying a new car.

[tollbaby]

Why Jack, how dare you ask such a question? How totally insulting! I'll never come here again!

(tongue-in-cheek, in case that was missed).

[vacation_rentals_suck]

I can certainly understand why you'd think I was making this up and I wish I was but no he really did ask me to do that. You see, we try to make things simple for our customers but some of them just wont have it. They have to make things complicated. This is a perfect example

[Jack]

Goodness. I'm sorry to hear that.

[Whiskey]

I can certainly understand why you'd think I was making this up and I wish I was but no he really did ask me to do that. You see, we try to make things simple for our customers but some of them just wont have it. They have to make things complicated. This is a perfect example

No, Dave, I'm sorry I can't bring myself to believe this. No one is that... like what do those people do for a living?


You need to install a tap on your work phone.

[Mr Hero]

Guest: well Dave, thats not really what I want. I want some real insight into the advantages and disadvantages of each bike shop. I'd like you to prepare an excel spreadsheet listing these and I would also like you to present a written argument as to why you feel I should use XYZ bike shop instead of the others.

Your rough draft will be due tomorrow, and your final presentation will be on Friday. In order to get full credit, you will also need to prepare a Power Point presentation consisting of at least 15 slides not including the title slide.

[alacazar]

mergh.

I want some real insight into the advantages and disadvantages of each bike shop. I'd like you to prepare an excel spreadsheet listing these and I would also like you to present a written argument as to why you feel I should use XYZ bike shop instead of the others.

Dear customer.

In case you have not noticed, you are a customer. As such I will provide the best possible customer service, as well as complete any reasonable requests within my power. Y ou are not however my boss. As only the person acctualy signing my paychecks has the power to make unreasonable requests, I shall have to decline your request. have a nice day

[bainsidhe]

I might mention that it's the bike shops duty to sell their business, not yours. Perhaps they should call the bike shop (themselves!) and see how quickly they're told to stuff it.

[ditchdj]

Guest: yea but there are a wide array of options available. You sound like you just want to place the order and be done with me. How do you expect me to use XYZ bike shop when you make no effort to pursuade me?

Speaking, as a fellow customer......exactly!

If I'm checking in I don't want to have to be forced to stand around in the lobby for an extra two hours with MY wife AND kids because you wanna tie up the front desk guy with some self-entitlement bullshit on the phone.

You're NOT the ONLY one on this planet that's renting some lodging space for your family vacation pal. I could really give a flying fuck how "important" you are. You don't mean jack shit to me personally.

[Ree]

An excel spreadsheet, you say?
How incredibly bizarre.
Unbelievable!

[LillFilly]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....

I...brain...no...work...now.

[MrsEclipse]

Me: honestly sir, I dont have time to do that. We are very busy.

Guest: you dont have time to help a customer

Me: I can place a bike order for you

The problem is, you and him were operating under different definitions of help.

SANE PERSON DICTIONARY (taken from dictionary.com)
help- [help] verb 1) to give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need; render assistance to

CRAZY LOCO CUSTOMER DICTIONARY (taken from the study of crazy people)
help- [halp] command 1) For someone, usually in the service position, to give to everything and anything needed, regardless of time or effort; to bend over backwards. 2) To do everything for


Sadly, I can only diagnose the problem. If I wanted to offer a solution, I'd have to not be crazy loco myself.