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For the Umpteempth Time, People. I Don't Have What You've Refused to Give Me.

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  • For the Umpteempth Time, People. I Don't Have What You've Refused to Give Me.

    Once again I'm dealing with a customer who has lost their media, their serial number, and ALL of their paperwork.

    I can retrieve the serial number by looking up their registration information, provided that, you know, they've actuall GIVEN us registration information.

    But if they haven't done that how am I supposed to know which of the hundreds of unregistered serial numbers is *their* serial number. Magic?

    Today's customer was not only puzzled that I couldn't retrieve his serial number by magic but angry as well.

    Yeah right, pal. I'm not the one who lost your stuff. YOU lost your stuff.

    I'm also not the one who made the decision not to register. It's perfectly OK with us if you make the choice to exercise your right not to register your software. No skin off our nose at all. Honest. We don't care that much about it. As a matter of fact, we can't even require registration because it's actually illegal for us to require it. But unfortunately, as a result of YOUR decision not to register, it pretty much sucks to be you right now.

    So I'm really not the person you should be mad at here.*

    [*Actually I wouldn't be shocked if this guy was a scammer trying to score the update price by claiming he had a license when he didn't. We get that scam a lot. Usually just telling them a serial number is required to buy an update defeats them.

    Occasionally one will really think we're stupid enough to fall for the "I somehow lost EVERY scrap of evidence that I possess a legal license but trust me I really have one" ploy. They're silly. Even if we believed them, an update won't work unless the person uses the same serial number they used for the prior version. How the heck is that going to work if they don't *have* that serial number?]

    And then there was the other moron today. He works for IT at a very large institution with hundreds of employees. We're short handed and he kept calling while I was helping other customers and not leaving a message. Just hanging up with a sigh.

    Caller ID only leaves their main number. No point in calling that back because I don't know which of the hundreds of employees there is trying to reach us. I can't really tell their operator who I'm calling if I don't actually know who I'm calling.

    Eventually moron got through to one of the programmers who got sick of listening to the phones jangling and picked it up to get some peace and quiet. This time he actually left a message that the programmer sent to me. So now I finally knew who had been trying to reach me and who I needed to call back. I wouldn't have been upset but this particular moron KNOWS that leaving a message is the only way to get help when we're busy. Yet he won't leave messages; just keeps hitting redial like a moron and getting nowhere.

    And yes, the irony of the fact that he left a message with the programmer when he wouldn't leave a voice mail is not lost on me.

    Oh, well. Sucks to be him. If he had left a message on voice mail he'd have been called back and helped well before lunchtime. But by the time I called him back, he had left for the day. So now he has to wait until tomorrow because he insisted on being a moron. I left him a nice voice mail.

    If he were the only person there who did that I suppose I could I assume it was this one guy whenever I get serial hangups from their number. Unfortunately there many morons at the institute and no way to know *which* moron is trying to reach me.
    Last edited by Dips; 07-15-2010, 10:18 PM.
    The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

    The stupid is strong with this one.

  • #2
    Quoth Dips View Post
    I can retrieve the serial number by looking up their registration information, provided that, you know, they've actuall GIVEN us registration information.
    That's what I like about the software packages we support - they both stop working after a month or so if you don't register...which takes all of a minute >_>

    And yes, the irony of the fact that he left a message with the programmer when he wouldn't leave a voice mail is not lost on me.
    I love that too -- someone calls when I'm on the phone, I know they're being forwarded because my line beeps, and no voicemail. I have come to the conclusion that, if it's not important enough to leave a message about, it's not important enough for me to bother calling them back. I use the same policy at home, where I at least have caller ID...
    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

    Comment


    • #3
      Quoth EricKei View Post
      That's what I like about the software packages we support - they both stop working after a month or so if you don't register...which takes all of a minute >_>
      Our customers can activate without registering. In some of the countrys where well sell software it's illegal to require registration to use the software. A company our size (tiny) isn't going to make custom packages so that applies to everyone. No skin off our nose either way unless they insist on blaming *us* for their own choice.

      Quoth EricKei View Post
      I have come to the conclusion that, if it's not important enough to leave a message about, it's not important enough for me to bother calling them back.
      My philosophy too. I'd love to put that in our greeting but, you know, the boss nixed it.

      This guy annoyed me because he dragged an innocent co-worker into his passive-aggressive insistence that he's too important to leave voice mails. Serves him right that his own behavior delayed him by a day. Not that he'll figure that out, of course. He's played this same game many times and hasn't learned a thing.
      The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

      The stupid is strong with this one.

      Comment


      • #4
        Quoth Dips View Post

        ...a very large institution with hundreds of employees. ...
        Sorry, that's not a "very large institution." My current company is "hundreds of employees" and we're not that big. My last company (where I was in payroll) was at least 30,000. THAT was a "very large institution." His sounds more like a "very needy institution."

        I love that our software has to be registered before you can even get it. And you can't register until you've shelled out a stupid amount of money.
        "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Dips View Post
          I wouldn't have been upset but this particular moron KNOWS that leaving a message is the only way to get help when we're busy. Yet he won't leave messages; just keeps hitting redial like a moron and getting nowhere.

          And yes, the irony of the fact that he left a message with the programmer when he wouldn't leave a voice mail is not lost on me.

          Oh, well. Sucks to be him. If he had left a message on voice mail he'd have been called back and helped well before lunchtime. But by the time I called him back, he had left for the day. So now he has to wait until tomorrow because he insisted on being a moron. I left him a nice voice mail.

          A woman I worked with had a customer like this, a regular account of hers. This customer refused to ever leave a voicemail, she would just call the main switchboard and yell about how "Judy" (not her real name) was NEVER THERE and she could NEVER REACH HER and blah blah blah. I would look over and Judy would be sitting right there at her desk. She might have been on the phone when Ms. Moron called--she had a lot of accounts to handle--but she always returned voicemail, even when it was someone as stupid and annoying as this.
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Crossbow View Post
            Sorry, that's not a "very large institution." My current company is "hundreds of employees" and we're not that big.


            Weeell, relative to us with our 13 employees...
            The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

            The stupid is strong with this one.

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Dips View Post


              Weeell, relative to us with our 13 employees...
              Ok, in that relation, then yeah.
              "If your day is filled with firefighting, you need to start taking the matches away from the toddlers…” - HM

              Comment


              • #8
                Heh. We used to have nearly twenty, including outside support peeps. Now we're closer to ...seven? Only some of whom were run off by the boss...(for the record, I plan to be one of them, soon) Ugh. Fortunately, one of the outside peeps is one of the only people who support the DOS version of the program...you'd be surprised how many people still use that one (if it ain't broke, why upgrade?)

                As a side note, I got the most wonderful comment from her...A call came in yesterday at 2pm that said "call by 2:20 or don't call at all/wait for client to call back" -- Apparently our tech tried to get her anyway, in the name of good customer service. The lady called today to COMPLAIN about it According to our tech, she's dealt with this person before -- she ALWAYS places a call with like 20 minutes leeway and then gets pissed if we can't get to her in time (our normal callback time is 15-20 mins, but what do you do if the only qualified tech is halfway thru a 2-hour call? ...)
                "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                Comment


                • #9
                  Update: Well the moron finally got through on Friday after a few more tries (at least I think it was him; can't tell from caller ID and hangups). When he got me he never mentioned having a hard time getting through (he used to but I guess he knows what I'm going to say! ). I didn't mention the repeated calls either. We just did the activation like nothing was amiss. I wished him a good weekend; he wished me the same. And that was it.

                  Quoth EricKei View Post
                  As a side note, I got the most wonderful comment from her...A call came in yesterday at 2pm that said "call by 2:20 or don't call at all/wait for client to call back" -- Apparently our tech tried to get her anyway, in the name of good customer service. The lady called today to COMPLAIN about it According to our tech, she's dealt with this person before -- she ALWAYS places a call with like 20 minutes leeway and then gets pissed if we can't get to her in time (our normal callback time is 15-20 mins, but what do you do if the only qualified tech is halfway thru a 2-hour call? ...)
                  Lemme see if I understand that.

                  She calls. Gives a 20 minute window. Gets a call back after the window and (I assume) gets her issue handled?

                  Then has time to call back and BITCH that it was handled but it's no good because it wasn't within the 20 minutes?

                  Oh, hell no. I agree that the only way to handle that is not to call her back at all if you can't call her back in 20 minutes. Follow her instructions to the letter if she's going to be like that.

                  I do understand that sometimes people are only near the computer at certain times and we'll make every effort to accomodate that. But our tech support is free, not instant. If we had an army of techs at the ready you bet we'd have to charge a lot of money for it. And most of our customers just can't afford that. So the compromise is providing excellent support at no cost in a reasonable time frame. *Most* customers are very happy with that.

                  The rest can stew in their unreasonable expectations.
                  The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

                  The stupid is strong with this one.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Quoth Dips View Post
                    But our tech support is free, not instant. If we had an army of techs at the ready you bet we'd have to charge a lot of money for it. And most of our customers just can't afford that. So the compromise is providing excellent support at no cost in a reasonable time frame. *Most* customers are very happy with that.

                    The rest can stew in their unreasonable expectations.
                    You can have: Cheap, Fast, Excellent. Pick two.
                    "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Quoth Dips View Post
                      Lemme see if I understand that.

                      She calls. Gives a 20 minute window. Gets a call back after the window and (I assume) gets her issue handled?

                      Then has time to call back and BITCH that it was handled but it's no good because it wasn't within the 20 minutes?
                      Actually, it's worse than that. We still haven't been able to contact her to resolve the issue. She got pissed that we tried -- at all -- AFTER the twenty minutes was up o_O

                      I agree that the only way to handle that is not to call her back at all if you can't call her back in 20 minutes. Follow her instructions to the letter if she's going to be like that.
                      From what the office manager said (the one who got yelled at), that's exactly what this customer wants us to do...or rather, NOT do >_>
                      Quoth Ironclad Alibi View Post
                      You can have: Cheap, Fast, Excellent. Pick two.
                      Well, we're cheaper than (software manufacturer) on non-prepaid-plan calls (our plans are significantly higher, but then, we have a "it's fixed or it's free" system and prepaid callers get top priority service), we're generally faster to get to calls than they are, and people tell us that we rock ^_^ So, uh ...heeheehee...Sometimes you do get to have all three. Then again, we have 3 truly "active techs" in the whole company, of which I am one. If it's a busy time of year (like new year's), you will have to wait an hour for a callback. Or, call the people who make the software and wait on hold for 2-3 hours, minimum. The choice is yours ^_^
                      Last edited by EricKei; 07-20-2010, 02:39 AM. Reason: thought of something more substantial
                      "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                      "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                      "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                      "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                      "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                      "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                      Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                      "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Quoth EricKei View Post
                        Actually, it's worse than that. We still haven't been able to contact her to resolve the issue. She got pissed that we tried -- at all -- AFTER the twenty minutes was up o_O
                        Yeesh.

                        As my boss would have put it, "The hell with her. Let's worry about the customers who *can* be pleased."
                        The best karma is letting a jerk bash himself senseless on the wall of your polite indifference.

                        The stupid is strong with this one.

                        Comment

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