You Can't Intimidate Me (Longish)

[Gaki]

So stop trying. I may be five feet tall and just BARELY 100lbs but I can slap you around verbally so bad I can make you feel like you've just been talking down to your mother. So STFU and listen.

That's my rant before I get started on the real action of the day.

Two guys come in, don't speak English very well (they're not Hispanic so none of my fluent coworkers could help me.) One wants to get 20 dollars in gas on a pump. He hands me a $100. We all know where this is going. I try to drop it in the safe. It doesn't go.

Me: I can't accept this bill, the safe won't take it.
SC: I'm sorry?
Me: The safe won't take the bill, I can't use this, do you have a different one?
SC: Why can you not take this bill? What is wrong with it?
Me: Nothing, the safe just won't take it.
SC: What about you? Will you take it?
Me: No.
SC: Why not?
Me: *sigh* Because I can't put it in the safe.
SC: *hands me another $100, it also won't drop*
Me: This one won't go either.
SC: I don't understand this, take my money!
Me: I can't.
SC: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!
Me: Do you have a card or anything smaller?
SC: NO! I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CANNOT TAKE IT, IS IT FAKE?!
Me: No, the paper is real but if it can't go in the safe I can't take it.

This is the time his friend comes in.

SC2: What is the problem?
SC: She say she cannot take my dollars because it will not go in the safe.
SC2: *to me* What is this?! What is wrong with money? Don't you WANT money?! What are we to do? You take his money! YOU TAKE IT!
Me: *sassy bartender face* Look hun, I'm not going to take anything that isn't going in this safe.
SC2: And why is that? Try the other safe!
Me: I don't have an account with the other safe, I couldn't if I wanted to.
SC2: I am not believing this. I am NOT BELIEVING THIS. You take this money!
Me: I don't think you understand, this is not the company's problem. If this bill turns out to be bad, this is MY problem. MINE. I have to pay for it, personally. So if you give me a bad bill, this is MY PROBLEM, and I refuse to pay for your bill.
SC + SC2: *blink blink*

Bad Places to Perform

So my coworker came in after taking the garbage out. He'd had to tell a car in front of the dumpster to move so he could open the gates. What were they doing parked in front of a sign that says "Do not Park in Front of Dumpster Doors"? Well...let's just say the guy finally found a way to shut his girlfriend up. CW went and knocked on the window, not to tell them to stop doing nasty things in our parking lot, but to tell them to move from in front of the dumpster gates.

And You're an Ugly Bitch, but I Guess you Already Knew That...

So the lady who hates me came in today with her pimped out daughters (I spoke of her in a previous post, she hates me because I made her miss out on 1.20 in rewards one day.) Her daughters, if I haven't said this, look like swiss cheese. They're 15 and 16 and they have so many facial piercings they look like a pin cushion. All the boys in the store agree that they could be pretty but with the way they're pimped out, they just look disgusting.

ANYWAYS. I took care of this lady this morning, she was agreeable enough, it was almost surreal how she didn't say anything rude to me. Usually she's excessively rude but today it was rather silent.

She was checking out with my CW today and told her daughter: "I don't like that girl over there, if she gets lippy with me one more time I'm going to go right over that counter."

I won't take much stock in it I don't think since she said something like that about another coworker of mine in the Deli once. I just think it's absolutely precious that I can inspire such a passionate response in anyone. I kinda like it. It's this sick love for having someone be so affected by me. I feel like she's a terribly weak person to have something so trivial affect her so badly.

The Brightness of my Day!!!

So this is not sucky but I had to put it here because it's an update to a previous post, the one about where I run like the wind and catch up to a Drive off and get the plate number. Relevant little tidbit: I'm a "child of the company" which pretty much means a parent of mine is in a higher ranking position within said company, so a lot of people from HQ tend to come into the store and recognize me even though I don't work in the corporate office.

So I get a call today from one of our corporate guys. Here's how it went down:

CG: Corporate Guy
Me: Happy as a clam after this one.

CG: Hey, is *Assistant Mgr.* in today?
Me: Nope, she isn't here today.
CG: Oh...darn it, this is *Corporate Guy,* I was calling to talk to her about a drive off that occured on the ninth of this month, do you know anything about that? It was a dark red Chevy Trailblazer?
Me: That was the one I ran after!
CG: OH! You ran after it?! Haha! What's your name?
Me: Gaki.
CG: Okay, well does the name *Stranger* mean anything to you?
Me: Nope, doesn't ring a bell.
CG: Okay, well this guy called the 1-800 number for the company to report that he had followed a red trailblazer out of our parking lot and got the number and a good look at the driver. Do you remember yelling out that a guy was driving off?
Me: No, actually I didn't yell anything but a whole lot of people did see me run really fast toward that car. I'm sure it was obvious.
CG: Okay, do you remember what the plate number was.
Me: If my memory serves me it was XXX-0000.
CG: Yeah! That's right! He said the driver was wearing a headband and sunglasses.
Me: YES! He was!
CG: Okay! Wow, well I took some still shots from your cameras so the police know what they're looking for. Thank you very much, now what's your name again?
Me: Gaki.
CG: And your last name?
Me: *last name*
CG: ..................................YOU'RE *Dad*'S DAUGHTER!!!
Me: Yep.

[Rapscallion]

Nice to know CG approved

Rapscallion

[Whiskey]

So why wouldn't it go in the safe? Why didn't you explain why it wouldn't go in the safe. I've never heard of a safe having a feature to reject money???

[Syriilord]

I may be five feet tall and just BARELY 100lbs but I can slap you around verbally so bad I can make you feel like you've just been talking down to your mother.

Hehe, I'm the exact opposite. Six foot three, heavily built, and so timid that I have trouble speaking up against anyone unless really pushed far.

[Mr Hero]

they have so many facial piercings they look like a pin cushion. All the boys in the store agree that they could be pretty but with the way they're pimped out, they just look disgusting.

At least those guys will have plenty of holes to chose from.

[Gaki]

So why wouldn't it go in the safe? Why didn't you explain why it wouldn't go in the safe. I've never heard of a safe having a feature to reject money???

I didn't explain because sometimes you can't. Sometimes the money is perfectly normal and fine, the safe just won't take it either because it is too old, too new, or it doesn't read it correctly. It has a bill reader that puts like a laser through it and reads the numbers, watermark, everything. It's like feeding money into a super awesome vending machine, one at a time with no error.

I didn't want to tell him that his money is fake, or too new, because then he'll throw and even bigger bitchfit because I'm no expert on money. All I know is that if the safe won't take it, I won't take it, whether it's real or not. He shouldn't be bringing large bills into a C-Store and assuming we can make change.

I don't understand why people can't get it through their thick skulls that WE CAN GET ROBBED. Any time. In broad daylight, in the middle of the night, etc. We SHOULD NEVER be able to even make change, he was just lucky as hell that he came in right after someone gave me three twenties and I couldn't drop them.

You can't get away with that now, we drop 20s now like we drop 100s. Right when we get them, no delay. We literally most times CANNOT even break 50s.