Best Insult from Customer

[TelephoneAngel]

me "and so, I can do what you requested but it will take about two hours.I will of course call you and let you know when I have done it successfully, it will be by the end of the day".

customer *is furious because I won't/Can't do it instantaneously "poof, just by magic"
"I feel very sorry for you missy"

me "why"

customer "clearly you never went to school"

me "thank you for calling".

[Sheldonrs]

...
customer "clearly you never went to school"

...".

Just long enough to learn how to spell B*I*T*C*H.

[MoonCat]

"Hogwarts wasn't accepting new students."

[HeatherWolf]

Ouch... I had that same thing happen to me. In the words of, "Have you had an education beyond the 6th grade?" I feel your pain.

[Mytical]

So they have to have you do whatever it is, which means they obviously can't (maybe too lazy too, but most likely are unable to), and you are the dumb one? So...what does that say about them that they can't figure out how to do it?

[XCashier]

I hate it when SCs assume you are stupid just because you work in customer service. But it's fun when you can show them how stupid they are being.

SC came up to the cutting table with a spool of upholstery trim.

ME: Hi, how may I help you?
SC: I need twenty yards of this.
ME: (looks at label) Twenty yards?
SC: (condescendingly) Yes. Twenty. Two-zero. You can count to twenty, can't you?
ME: Ma'am, even if this were a new spool, there'd only be eighteen yards (shows her the label where it is very clearly written: 18 yds) (resists the temptation to say, "One-eight. Right there.")
SC: Oh, then, um, I'll just take what's there.
ME: Of course, ma'am.