Oh yay late nights!

[BaristaTrav]

May all your bacon burn and may you be set upon by randy pineapples.

2 unfortunate fates, especially if one had planned to make a Hawaiian pizza.

[Geek King]

Me: "Alright. I've heard better and if that's the best you've got, I suggest you put the phone down, use a bit more creativity and then call back. I'll disconnect now, thank you for calling and have a nice day!"

This is the exact method I've used many times on XBox Live to shut down people suffering from Internet Asshole Syndrome (Anonymous + Audience = Asshole). People seem to get so mad when you critique their insults and vulgarity. Most fun when you cause them to ragequit.

[chainedbarista]

welcome, ms. pen!

SC: "So, where are you now?"
Me: "Umm, Helsinki?"
SC: "Where exactly?"
Me: "I don't know, really. I have a terrible sense of direction."
SC: "I'm just asking, because I'm gonna send you a dildo!"

dildos, for that special occasion where flowers and chocolates just won't do.

NOOO! not the hawaiian pizza? the inhumanity of it all!

[thansal]

dildos, for that special occasion where flowers and chocolates just won't do.

Ok, that almost had me snorting Dr. Pepper.

I have to admit, I like good prank calls (one involving The Devil calling a shoe store seeing his they have souls for sale pops into my mind). However, I also have to admit that I never GET any good prank calls. When I used to work retail I tended to get people about as imaginative as the one's Pen had, though not as dumb as to crank call a toll number...

[infinitemonkies]

Comedian Steven Wright swears this is true; He says he once called information to ask "Where are my socks?" And the lady replied "They're behind your couch." ...And they were.

[pacman]

Actually, to be really honest, I've been secretly wondering what kind of idiots take those ads seriously and ask you about picnic places or erotic shops or whatever stupid it is. Like "I just broke my friend's boat and don't really know how to get out of here, can you help" or something. I've cringed a lot when I hear those "No Antti moi" ads. Luckily I'm not in phone customer service but in a Blue/Orange phone company's shop in Tampere so we don't really get the worst ones there.

[LillFilly]

I really love how you do your job, give people the information they wanted, and they STILL insult you on the hang-up as they know you won't be able to make a comeback. They're sad, insecure, stupid fleshbags.

Hope you bring more stories! Wait, well, maybe not if you value your sanity...